Dating show "20 vs 1 dating"perfect example of not settling leading to forever alone

[depcharger]

A theme and advice i constantly see on loveshack is " Not settling"

 

To me it seems people have some Idea of an ideal mate and anything short of that is settling and they simply won't do it

 

A dating show I recently discovered on youtube

 

the chooser needs to filter out 20/30/40 candidates

 

they become so picky so choosy that they eliminate so many "good enough" people all for the sake of not wanting to settle

 

 

the link is a good example, while i admire her honesty she is so choosy she can't even manage 1 single dude who is willing to date her out of 20 dudes

 

she's 5'6 but wants a dude 5'10+

because she won't settle

 

Not settling means you forever find faults in people and disqualify them

[chillii]

But what you seriously take any notice of dating shows???

For a start about all anyone could hope to get on one of those things is a free date or 2.

You can't pick any real partner with just one or two questions and out out a string of people no bodies someone's lined up just for a damn show.

 

 

As far as the settling thing , no idea what silly people out there are doing these days or care.

lf they had any iota of an idea though of what goes into making a real life long relationship, they'd have a bit more depth than the crap all over the internet l do know that much.

Edited December 26, 2018 by chillii

[stillafool]

Some people would rather be alone forever than to settle for someone they aren't in love with.

[PRW]

A theme and advice i constantly see on loveshack is " Not settling"

 

To me it seems people have some Idea of an ideal mate and anything short of that is settling and they simply won't do it

 

Not settling means you forever find faults in people and disqualify them

 

If you haven't noticed by now, pretty much every last "dating coach" on YouTube is not married, and often "hardened" against marriage. Most of them aren't even in a solid "relationship" and are in endless casual situations, and endless "hookup" situations.

 

When someone becomes really good, really highly skilled in pickup and dating, they fall into the trap of the "kid in the candy store" or the "greener grass" concept. Because they can, in theory, get anyone they want (or so they believe),...then no one is ever good enough for them. There is always someone out there that seems just a tiny bit better then what they currently have. So they are always dropping what they have to grab the next one.

 

In terms of settling. At some point you have to settle,...period. But people get these extreme ideas into their heads and they can only conceive of two things,...settling,...never settling, and to them settling is bad and never settling is good. They have lost the ability to comprehend that there is an almost infinite range in between those two extremes.

 

So you always have to settle eventually, it is just a debate on how low/high you settle and how realistic a view you have of yourself and how much relationship valuable you posses. There are far too many people on both extremes of that,...those that think they are worthless, and those that think they are too perfect. It is the balanced ones in between that will succeed,...the two extremes will both lose in the end.

[Wallysbears]

I think there is a world of difference between "settling" and recognizing that you will NEVER find an absolute 100% perfect person.

 

No one is PERFECT.

[MaleIntuition]

The fundamental flaw of the whole idea of settling vs not settling is the simplistic idea that humans have an objective value and as such you must find someone of similar value; otherwise you are “settling”. Choosing dating partners based on what the general consensus say is probably not a good idea in the long run. If you find someone whom makes you feel great and whom you are attracted to and with a matching personality are you still “settling” if that person isn’t tall enough?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Telling someone not to settle does not mean, "wait for the perfect person." It means, "wait for the perfect person for you." There is a huge difference and there's nothing wrong with this advice.