A second Chance?

[Christina859090]

A few days ago I found out my boyfriend of almost 3 yrs isn't the guy I thought he was. He was always loving, caring, and the serious type. He told me I was the only girl in his life and that he only said and did certain things for ME, not for any other girl before in his life.

I would always get jealous over stupid things like him checking other girls out and having stupid chat buddies on the internet. But every time he would call me a psycho and assure me that I'm overreacting.

 

Even In the beginning of our relationship he had this stupid girl from France that he had been telling he loved and all these things, I confronted him, and he said it was only an internet thing. He has kicked me out of his car a few times as well and cursed mean things to me when he gets mad.

However, everything is going well and I’m in love with him more than I ever was, and I trusted him completely cuz he has been busy with work. I start to feel instincts of checking on him again and I went on his email. I found an expiration of "adultfriendfinders.com" I visited the site and found nothing but nasty sluts looking for sex in your area. It turns out he has subscribed to this website twice, the dates were while we were together and I was graduating college. I KNOW it’s him, b/c of his name, profile, card#, and so on. He had ordered this for 2 months July, and August.

Nervously my heart thumped 100 beats per second and I began shaking. But there was still more to come......I found out he has a profile which says "Ladies I'm looking for fun, no relationships, I'm interesting, fun and outgoing, and I’m open to anything, "lets PARTY"

 

By this time I’m almost dying and shocked but I still haven’t seen any sign of him talking to anyone of meeting anyone. He has no buddies, and it seems her hasn’t been on the site in a while. However, soon I find the link that would crush me. I clicked and saw all the girls he had been gawking at, and probably masturbating to. I find this one blonde girl "Juicy Babe". He had sent her a message saying he wasn’t to f her and he would do many things to her, and for her to message him back. She also lives in NY, where he WORKS. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a message from her b/c he had no picture. Later I get into a huge fight with him and he calls me almost all the names in the book on top of it! He totally denied he ever subscribed and called me a psycho once again! I hated him so much for days, and still do! It was my birthday the next day, I turned 20 on a sad leaf of being alone for a while and he turned 30 just yesterday.

As things get even more dramatic, I didn’t eat, sleep or breathe right for a whole week. I still feel pain in my heart. I cried myself to sleep each night. The problem is he denied it and blamed his brother, and then FINALLY he admitted he was only playing. That he would never go through with it and meet her or cheat on me. He said he never has. Deep in my heart I feel he hasn’t, but I don’t trust him at all anymore, because just the fact that he said those nasty things to that ugly slut I feel betrayed. Now I feel like all those times I was jealous I was Right! I get suspicious of incidents with him and I don’t feel like I can ever trust him like I used to=(

To make things worse I dig more into his stuff, I typed his name into Google and found another sight he had been on for years which isn’t sex related, but more like chat of ethnic background. I found his past life before me (dates of chats) was partying and many girls. He seems like he loves attention from girls, he had his picture up for many to see. However, the only new things I found were about 6 messages from two girls in France and some other place. He had been chatting just normal with them, and viewing their pix. This one girl a red head, he seemed to like she is a pretty girl and he kept asking her of her tattoo’s and piercing. He was also asking her of her parents, origin, and if she is ever coming to the USA!!!!

 

He got me flowers, candy, and Champaign, and is luring me with gifts and sweet words. He forced himself to my parent’s house on the day of my birthday and he is very persistent! I feel like he is one sneaky man, I don’t know him anymore. I keep telling him lets be friends and to stop calling me and finally today he has stopped. Then why do I feel I’m missing something?????????????????????? I want to get over him so I can go on with my studies and my life. I want my life back, but he was my life. A part of me still wants him, but my head tells me to forget him, he deceived me. There was no excuse for this, I gave him everything he wanted and I was faithful 100%. I used to make way just to see him; I lied to my parents and everyone I know to be with him. He was my first boyfriend and love. I also gave him my virginity I have soo much mixed emotions inside I feel like I will burst. We kinda made up yesterday, but i let him know one more sign and im leaving for good. I feel he hasnt really cheated.....

 

Can someone please give me advice, what should I do?

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[Christina859090]

i need some advice, please read it.