basil67 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Okay thanks, if I am like a boy and jeans and t-shirts are not manly enough, than what should I wear. Suits? Like for example, when I got out, a lot of times I will wear this leather jacket which my friends and women friends have given me compliments on, saying I look really good in it. But if I wear suits or nice clothes, would that go well, with the leather jacket? You’re happy with how you dress. Don’t change or go dressing to keep others happy. Same deal goes for your girlfriend.
Gretchen12 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Okay thanks, if I am like a boy and jeans and t-shirts are not manly enough, than what should I wear. Suits? Like for example, when I got out, a lot of times I will wear this leather jacket which my friends and women friends have given me compliments on, saying I look really good in it. But if I wear suits or nice clothes, would that go well, with the leather jacket? Nice t shirt, jeans and leather jacket is fine and manly. I was talking about a guy showing up in dirty sneakers or flip flop and baggy shorts. That'd ok if we're at the beach but if I'm in heels and a nice dress, I don't like the guy too casual, makes me feel like the only adult. Imo you can't go wrong in button down shirt and long pants. Of course, nice shoes.
thefooloftheyear Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Its very hard to make someone into the image you desire.....Even if they try to do it, because its not "in them" to do it, it will come off as clumsy and contrived... I think you either have to accept her as she is, or move on and try to find what you are looking for... TFY
stillafool Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 ]Usually the girls who dress up really well and feminine usually do it for the attention they get from other men. [/b]I only know the gfs of the most alpha guys will *feel* like doing it but I suspect that's cause they are worried they'll lose their men. I've found that most really well dressed women do it for themselves and basically other women. Women who dress sexy usually do it for men. Not all but most. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I have a problem when men who choose to wear t-shirts and jeans all the time want their women to dress “sexy.” If you want her to put in more effort, you don’t get to sit there and slum it. You elevate your style, too. That double standard really drives me up the wall. I have a problem when women expect men to be able to fix everything, yet couldn't identify a Phillips screwdriver or a pair of pliers if it was sitting on the kitchen table... I also have a problem when men are expected to be successful and earn a lot of money, while it's ok for women to take careers like school teachers and dental hygienists, which aren't necessarily high paying... Yep....The double standard drives us up a wall... TFY 1
Wallysbears Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 If you don't like how she dresses, don't date her. Good lord, it is posts like this which make me appreciate my husband so damn much. He loves me all dressed up to go out or in a pair of yoga pants with no makeup and a Mom bun on top of my head. 2
PRW Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I only know the gfs of the most alpha guys will *feel* like doing it but I suspect that's cause they are worried they'll lose their men. Every girl I've ever dated just dressed up once and then never again. Maybe you are too eager, too easy. They are not afraid in the least bit they will lose you, so they can slack off and be lazy about their looks or impressing you.
guest569 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I have a problem when men who choose to wear t-shirts and jeans all the time want their women to dress “sexy.” If you want her to put in more effort, you don’t get to sit there and slum it. You elevate your style, too. That double standard really drives me up the wall. Exactly! It makes no sense for her to pile on makeup and wear pretty clothes for a guy who just wears jeans and T-shirts. I know when my guy is wearing a button down shirt and nice trousers for a nice outing then I’ll put in effort too. If we are having a lazy day then we will be super casual. I’m a tomboy unless I’m going out somewhere fancy, no makeup, and I would want to know my guy was not ok with that because it would be a dealbreaker. 2
losangelena Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Okay thanks, if I am like a boy and jeans and t-shirts are not manly enough, than what should I wear. Suits? Like for example, when I got out, a lot of times I will wear this leather jacket which my friends and women friends have given me compliments on, saying I look really good in it. But if I wear suits or nice clothes, would that go well, with the leather jacket? No you don’t have to wear a suit, but again, if you expect her or want her to elevate her style, you should, too. My ex is still one of the best-dressed men I’ve ever known. He had an actual wardrobe, not 20 versions of the same ill-fitting jeans and 20 logo t-shirts. He dressed for whatever occasion—yeah, if we were going to Home Depot, a t-shirt and shorts were fine, but he also had a variety of nice button downs, all kinds of trousers and shoes, and yes, suits, which he would wear if we went to a nice dinner. He was cognizant of fit, he got clothes tailored. He didn’t shy away from a pattern or rich color. He sank a lot of money into his wardrobe. And it wasn’t all “fancy” or “corporate,” it was age and life-station appropriate. Anyway, there’s a lot of room to play around. I always get a little suspicious when men complain about their womens’ style. Like, is it ill-fitting and of low quality, or do you just not like the look? I get the sense sometimes that these concerns come from not the well-being of the woman in question, but because the man fears embarrassment or a blow to the ego if he’s seen/associated with a woman who doesn’t meet a certain standard. I’m wondering which is it in your case? 2
thefooloftheyear Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 As someone who has been around a while, there has been a significant downgrade in how women dress... It's not all that uncommon to see a woman in pajamas and slippers(no, I am not kidding) no bra, out at the market shopping...I know my mother or any of my aunts wouldn't be caught dead in that type of condition...Heck, they wouldn't even look like that around the house.. There are parents that actually send their kids to school looking like this, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.. Now, Its true, men are often just as bad, probably worse...But they aren't often judged as much for their looks or appearance...And some men have careers(construction, etc), that prevent them from actually being stylish.. At the end of the day, its like anything else...Its a free world and if a woman wants to go out and look like a slob, that's her right...But then they can't really complain if most guys don't like it.....Its as simple as that... TFY 2
Purepony Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 If you don't like how she dresses, don't date her. Good lord, it is posts like this which make me appreciate my husband so damn much. He loves me all dressed up to go out or in a pair of yoga pants with no makeup and a Mom bun on top of my head. Some girls look good like that Yoga parts are cool and no make up sometimes is sexy Now don’t get me started on purple pants
alphamale Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I like women who wear high heels but it seems to me that fewer and fewer are wearing them in lieu of more comfortable footwear.
some_username1 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 As someone who has been around a while, there has been a significant downgrade in how women dress... It's not all that uncommon to see a woman in pajamas and slippers(no, I am not kidding) no bra, out at the market shopping...I know my mother or any of my aunts wouldn't be caught dead in that type of condition...Heck, they wouldn't even look like that around the house.. There are parents that actually send their kids to school looking like this, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.. Now, Its true, men are often just as bad, probably worse...But they aren't often judged as much for their looks or appearance...And some men have careers(construction, etc), that prevent them from actually being stylish.. At the end of the day, its like anything else...Its a free world and if a woman wants to go out and look like a slob, that's her right...But then they can't really complain if most guys don't like it.....Its as simple as that... TFY There has been a definite decline in femininity that is for sure, I dress quite formally so to expect a woman to wear a dress and heels is not hypocritical for me and only expecting back out what I put in. Yet it seems the art of wearing a demure, form fitting dress and a pair of heels has been totally lost, there are some women who don't even wear make up. This whole gender neutral nonsense seems to be having an effect in fashion if nothing else and it's frustrating. If I wanted to date someone who only wore loose trousers and a scruffy pair of trainers I'd date one of my male friends. The cute "girl next door" look has been totally lost and it's a damn shame in my view.
Cersei Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Dudes you try walking around in heels and look graceful! Those things suck! And don't get me started on how uncomfortable panty hoses are. 1
kendahke Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 (edited) But what do you think? What fundamental quality of yourself are you going to strangle off to make her happy? I think you should accept and love her for who she is and quit trying to turn her into something she's never shown you any interest in being. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now And for a year now, you let her think that the way she is is cool with you. Now you're telling her it's not. Not good form. I'm curious as to how easily it will be for a posh chick to pop you out of this relationship, given your rejection of how your girlfriend dresses. Edited December 26, 2018 by kendahke 1
NuevoYorko Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Maybe the way she dresses expresses who she really is? If she just has no sense of style and her wardrobe could use a "boost," that's one thing. If she is a relaxed outdoorsy hands on kind of woman and she is dressing in a way that expresses that - trying to get her to dress "more feminine" would probably go over poorly. As someone else has posted, take her out to a formal event and tell her that formal dress is expected. That won't make waves and both of you will probably have fun in your fancy duds.
Author ironpony Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 Exactly! It makes no sense for her to pile on makeup and wear pretty clothes for a guy who just wears jeans and T-shirts. I know when my guy is wearing a button down shirt and nice trousers for a nice outing then I’ll put in effort too. If we are having a lazy day then we will be super casual. I’m a tomboy unless I’m going out somewhere fancy, no makeup, and I would want to know my guy was not ok with that because it would be a dealbreaker. Okay thanks, but I keep getting complimented from my other women friends that I look good in my clothes, and that they will tell me nice new shirts and all that, especially if I wear the leather jacket or a button down shirt over top. I also have a blazer and fedora which I wear out sometimes, but thought maybe the hat might look a bit pretentious but got some compliments on that as well. So are they not actually being complimentary then?
stillafool Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Some girls look good like that Yoga parts are cool and no make up sometimes is sexy Now don’t get me started on purple pants Yes but it depends on what your body and skin look like. I've seen some people in yoga pants that shouldn't - just no. 1
kendahke Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Okay thanks, but I keep getting complimented from my other women friends So are they not actually being complimentary then? They're being supportive as your friends because that's what friends do... but they're your friends-you're not trying to make a romantic relationship with them, so they're not invested on the same emotional level as a girlfriend would be.
Wallysbears Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I remember when I used to go out to bars, etc. Every.single.guy wore the same.boring.outfit to the bars Dark blue jeans Dress shirt with sleeves semi rolled and untucked Brown/black slip on loafer type shoes Perhaps a jacket and/or sweater It was so BORING. Women's outfits were all a variety of the same iterations also. 1
basil67 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I like women who wear high heels but it seems to me that fewer and fewer are wearing them in lieu of more comfortable footwear. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why
alphamale Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I remember when I used to go out to bars, etc. Every.single.guy wore the same.boring.outfit to the bars Dark blue jeans Dress shirt with sleeves semi rolled and untucked Brown/black slip on loafer type shoes Perhaps a jacket and/or sweater It was so BORING. Women's outfits were all a variety of the same iterations also. yea but what would you think of a guy who shows up dressed as Elton john?
losangelena Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 yea but what would you think of a guy who shows up dressed as Elton john? That’s a bit of an extreme example, no? There are plenty of shades between boring corporate and rock star flamboyant. 2
BettyDraper Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Hmm... I don't know. Most women I have met like he describes would be insulted by that. They take it as you telling them that they NEED a makeover, and if you are going to go through all that effort to make it happen then you think she needs a make over really really bad. BTW - To the OP: I meant "dress and act". It is a whole package that you present. It all depends on how this is presented. There's a difference between "You need a makeover so I'm buying you a dress and taking you to a make up artist" and "I'm going to spoil you because you deserve it for being a wonderful girlfriend. We're going to have dinner at (restaurant name). I'm going to buy you a dress and have your beautiful features brought out with a make up artist. I'm going to buy a new outfit too so that we can look like the sexiest couple in the restaurant. Let's make this happen." One approach is certainly vaguely insulting so I understand your concerns. The other is exciting and romantic. I had a very "honest" friend who was actually just very rude. She once said "Why do you dress older than you are? You don't know how to dress for your body and you need a makeover. Let me give you a makeover." Keep in mind that I didn't ask for her opinion. Also, that "honest" friend could not handle the same brutal honesty which she dished out. We aren't friends anymore and that comment is one of the reasons. 1
BettyDraper Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 As someone who has been around a while, there has been a significant downgrade in how women dress... It's not all that uncommon to see a woman in pajamas and slippers(no, I am not kidding) no bra, out at the market shopping...I know my mother or any of my aunts wouldn't be caught dead in that type of condition...Heck, they wouldn't even look like that around the house.. There are parents that actually send their kids to school looking like this, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.. Now, Its true, men are often just as bad, probably worse...But they aren't often judged as much for their looks or appearance...And some men have careers(construction, etc), that prevent them from actually being stylish.. At the end of the day, its like anything else...Its a free world and if a woman wants to go out and look like a slob, that's her right...But then they can't really complain if most guys don't like it.....Its as simple as that... TFY This. I am appalled when I see anyone wearing pajamas in public. It looks slovenly and inappropriate. I wear pajamas at home after a workout and a long hot bath. It's especially comforting during the winter. However, I do not make it a habit to wear pajamas at home because I believe that spouses should still try to look nice for each other. I don't need to be dressed to the nines all the time...but I'm sure my hubby likes that I make an effort to look nice for both of us. 2
Recommended Posts