Secretly resenting that my man is a single parent part 2...

[Indigo.Cranes]

Is it really so wrong if childless people secretly, desperately wish their S.O.'s child didn't exist and wish that their ex was never born?? If so, why? I truly believe I'm one of the few childless people brave and open enough to just admit this. The child and the ex are in the way of smooth sailing.

[Indigo.Cranes]

There is an innocent child involved. Who needs his father. Please don't make this be about you and your insecurities and make this man begin to think with his dick (because we all know they do) and choose you over his child and ruin this child's life. Because you need to "win". Just go pick a man who doesn't have a child and leave this man alone already. You already made a thread about this exact topic and got no where and now another one?.... this resentment is not going anywhere.

 

Thank you for your honesty. You've really given me something to think about

[ExpatInItaly]

You are seething with jealousy over this woman. It has nothing to do with looks (hers or yours) and everything to do with the fact that she was there first and has a permanent connection to him.

 

In any event, you are not demonstrating the maturity necessary for any sort of step-parenting. Have your fun with this man, keep his child out of it, and be prepared for the end of your fling too. There’s no future here.

[Indigo.Cranes]

How horrible would I be if I convinced him to move out of state with me and see his child every now and then on holidays and summers?? I think with the strength of our connection, I could get him to do it...

[Cersei]

Terrible! Because in time it will come out that "I left everything for you!"

Don't do it!

 

This is a very new relationship and too early to think This way. Get to know each other way better.

[Indigo.Cranes]

You are seething with jealousy over this woman. It has nothing to do with looks (hers or yours) and everything to do with the fact that she was there first and has a permanent connection to him.

 

In any event, you are not demonstrating the maturity necessary for any sort of step-parenting. Have your fun with this man, keep his child out of it, and be prepared for the end of your fling too. There’s no future here.

 

Yup! You're d*mn right! I despise the fact that she bore his first child out of a loveless, lustful, momentary, short term "relationship". She gave him his first precious experience of fatherhood all because she couldn't control her vagina and treat the future of her womb with delicacy and all encompassing respect. Breeding an innocent human life in an unstable, short term situation KNOWING from experience what it's like to grow up in a single parent household. She and her inept moves of romance disgust me.

[Indigo.Cranes]

Yup! You're d*mn right! I despise the fact that she bore his first child out of a loveless, lustful, momentary, short term "relationship". She gave him his first precious experience of fatherhood all because she couldn't control her vagina and treat the future of her womb with delicacy and all encompassing respect. Breeding an innocent human life in an unstable, short term situation KNOWING from experience what it's like to grow up in a single parent household. She and her inept moves of romance disgust me.

 

You are seething with jealousy over this woman. It has nothing to do with looks (hers or yours) and everything to do with the fact that she was there first and has a permanent connection to him.

 

In any event, you are not demonstrating the maturity necessary for any sort of step-parenting. Have your fun with this man, keep his child out of it, and be prepared for the end of your fling too. There’s no future here.

 

If the child is not a brat or a disintegrous, foolish skank like her mother, I could eventually learn to love and accept her as my own. I don't understand how childless people are expected to love children that are not ours if their primary example of behavior/personality is trash??? I want to love and accept the child because she's apart of him but if she's got the behavioral stench of her mother, I cannot and will not.

 

I will ALWAYS verbally show her respect and do my best to make her feel welcomed but our children will probably receive a love from me that she won't and her dumb mom and horny dad should have considered that before foolishly, recklessly procreating.

 

Hey, at least I'm honest !

[BaileyB]

How horrible would I be if I convinced him to move out of state with me and see his child every now and then on holidays and summers?? I think with the strength of our connection, I could get him to do it...

 

Sure, try it. A good father would leave you in an instant, if you try to separate a father from his daughter.

[snowcones]

Is it really so wrong if childless people secretly, desperately wish their S.O.'s child didn't exist and wish that their ex was never born?? If so, why? I truly believe I'm one of the few childless people brave and open enough to just admit this. The child and the ex are in the way of smooth sailing.

 

 

It's bad because you keep rationalizing this and that's how people end up stabbing an innocent child to death or 3rd party adult. It's bad for you to stay in this situation with your train of thought. Get out and find a childless man. I don't think it's bad for childless men to hate single moms and only want a childless woman. They want someone at their same level. I also don't think it 's bad for a childless woman to feel the same. I tell them to go find what you want and stop beating up on single moms (or dads, AND the kids). Go find what you really want. Be angry that there are not more childless men out there that you connect deeply with, maybe they need to up their game. Be mad at them instead of being mad at men who already have children. Completely ignore men who have children instead of spewing hatred at them. Go for what you want.

[Indigo.Cranes]

Sure, try it. A good father would leave you in an instant, if you try to separate a father from his daughter.

 

I don't even have to try it. Ironically, the place I'm moving to is his dream city and he's already mentioned making plans to come visit me regularly after I move. He is stuck in the current state he lives in due to his ex. He would not be there if it were not for his child. He wants to be in the South where his family is from so I think within time and a few visits...he could be convinced....

 

 

Plenty of fathers live out of state and maintain relationships with their children...

[snowcones]

How horrible would I be if I convinced him to move out of state with me and see his child every now and then on holidays and summers?? I think with the strength of our connection, I could get him to do it...

 

 

I've seen it. I've seen the jealous new woman get herself pregnant in a hurry so she gets to be in the same standing as the ex. Except the current women is the one he's with now, so with that and a baby, he will do whatever she says.

[Indigo.Cranes]

It's bad because you keep rationalizing this and that's how people end up stabbing an innocent child to death or 3rd party adult. It's bad for you to stay in this situation with your train of thought. Get out and find a childless man. I don't think it's bad for childless men to hate single moms and only want a childless woman. They want someone at their same level. I also don't think it 's bad for a childless woman to feel the same. I tell them to go find what you want and stop beating up on single moms (or dads, AND the kids). Go find what you really want. Be angry that there are not more childless men out there that you connect deeply with, maybe they need to up their game. Be mad at them instead of being mad at men who already have children. Completely ignore men who have children instead of spewing hatred at them. Go for what you want.

 

Jesus!!! I'm not stabbing anyone to death! It's my that deep!! Lol!?

 

Thanks again for your brutal honesty. You make so many excellent points. It just sucks because this guy seems like my soulmate/the only man I've met this far that I can't see my life without

[Indigo.Cranes]

I've seen it. I've seen the jealous new woman get herself pregnant in a hurry so she gets to be in the same standing as the ex. Except the current women is the one he's with now, so with that and a baby, he will do whatever she says.

 

Eh, not sure if I'm about that pregnancy life just yet. But if we get married, which he has mentioned and "lightly joked" about A LOT (me having his last name/ saying "I need this for life!!" after I make a meal/ect.), we will be having non-stop creampies and I will be popping out baby after baby.

[Indigo.Cranes]

I've seen it. I've seen the jealous new woman get herself pregnant in a hurry so she gets to be in the same standing as the ex. Except the current women is the one he's with now, so with that and a baby, he will do whatever she says.

 

And I am sorry if his first born finds herself feeling robbed of a proper family unit but that's on her foolish mommy and daddy for procreating out of lust rather than stable longevity. I would not want his child to feel like she's missing out but that's on her mom for being inflexible and deciding to stay in a state in which her father does not want to be in/has decreased opportunities in. His lifelong passions and career pursuits just so happen to flourish where I'm moving to and in the South. Is he supposed to put his entire 30's and beginning 40's on hold and wait to start his life because he had a child out of wedlock?? He can still be a great father out of state and she will understand when she's grown. Besides, she might not even be around to care for him when he's elderly and ill; HE NEEDS A TRUE COMPANION. Not a has-been, disposable baby mama

[Indigo.Cranes]

Yall, I'm in phase one of plotting on how to snatch him from this situation. I'm about to start heavy duty scheming. He is my soulmate, my one true love, meant to be MY life partner and I refuse to let some foolish, pathetic, despeate ex and her spawn get in the way.

 

....is this the making of an evil step-mother??