krq12 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Why is this wrong? I don't really know how else to ask someone to leave me alone. Generally if I know I don't like a guy, which I know in a matter of few seconds most likely then I'm going to flip them off tell them to leave me the ____ alone etc... Well the other day at work I was talking about how I hate that I can't flip guys at work off. The guy I was talking to totally flipped out and he's not one of those guys he's gay (well more bisexual but that's not the point) and the chick acted like I was plain out mean. My thing is if I don't they get all aggressive and keep trying to talk to me. Being nice never worked. I prefer them to just get it over with with hating on me. Because they're not going to like that they can never get with me. I don't know how else to be honestly. It's just like I always get guys that are nothing like me. I'm half black half (white with a lot of stuff) and dark skinned black guys tend to prefer me. And I prefer guys that look more like me that look like kris humphies type of black guy or white guys even (less of the time more if they like look). Which white men are another issue because generally never expect them to hit on me. When they do I am very confused how to respond because it never happens and I left my guard down. But anyway on top of it the kinds of guys that I really don't like hitting on me their culture their manner everything is something I don't relate with. The interests are just different most of the time. There's no point in pretending that I am at all interested in someone I'm not I'd rather them know as soon as possible I don't really want to waste any time on them the times I have well some have gotten into arguments threats etc... I'd rather shut it down quickly. Instead of getting someone's hopes up. My friend said I'm going to get myself killed doing this but I don't see how it seems it goes better this way generally for me than actually being nice.
frankspeci Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 How old are you? Flipping someone off is really the only way you can think off to shut down their interest?? Really?? That's very needlessly rude in my opinion. If you approached someone you were interested in would you actually be ok getting flipped off? I think there are more appropriate ways of turning people down. 1
FMW Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Seriously? Learn some social skills. There are plenty of ways to communicate your lack of interest in a socially acceptable way. Pay attention to how other people handle similar situations, you are not a unique and special butterfly that requires extreme measures. Flipping someone off shows a complete lack of class and respect. 1
Author krq12 Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 How old are you? Flipping someone off is really the only way you can think off to shut down their interest?? Really?? That's very needlessly rude in my opinion. If you approached someone you were interested in would you actually be ok getting flipped off? I think there are more appropriate ways of turning people down. well actually that's what the guy brought up but I actually told him I don't hit on men. Ever. If I like the guy and he doesn't approach me I will avoid him like hell
Garcon1986 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Well here's what you can do. You think 99% of the men who approach you are not valuable enough to share the time of day? You should just engage in civil conversation. If you prefer to be blunt, you can directly tell them I'm not interested in you that way. I'm a man, and I've been personally rejected by phrases such as "I feel nothing for you whatsoever", "I'm not ready to date", "I have a boyfriend", or "I've got to go". Expand your spectrum of what "being ms. nice" means. You can reject guys and make it a routine. There's no problem if you want to make it cruel, but no need to make it quite that cruel. We men are also capable of spreading rumors about women, remember that, your reputation will get around if you continue flipping men off
Author krq12 Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 Well here's what you can do. You think 99% of the men who approach you are not valuable enough to share the time of day? You should just engage in civil conversation. If you prefer to be blunt, you can directly tell them I'm not interested in you that way. I'm a man, and I've been personally rejected by phrases such as "I feel nothing for you whatsoever", "I'm not ready to date", "I have a boyfriend", or "I've got to go". Expand your spectrum of what "being ms. nice" means. You can reject guys and make it a routine. There's no problem if you want to make it cruel, but no need to make it quite that cruel. We men are also capable of spreading rumors about women, remember that, your reputation will get around if you continue flipping men off oh they usually do but my thing is I am the type that stays to myself and doesn't care about other people ever. Which can anger people more because I totally ignore everyone except those I actually want to talk to.
Author krq12 Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 To answer someone's questions I'm 19
preraph Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Flipping them off is not the answer. Number one you don't know if they're a nice person or not so why would you want to be mean to a nice person. number to it's impractical because it's just going to get you a bunch of negative attention and you actually could get yourself in a lot of trouble or assaulted or mugged doing something like that. Number three most women are able to handle it without going to that extreme. If some guy that you don't know is approaching you hold out your hand and motion for them to stay back. Cross the street to avoid them. If they're at a party just walk off. None of that is as abrasive as flipping them off. And if they corner you just say excuse me and go talk to someone else. if this is a real problem for you and most of the time you don't want to be approached why not wear a wedding ring on your left hand. Not that that will stop everyone but you can always hold it up. You're going to get yourself hurt if you keep this up. So learn some social skills.
Gretchen12 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 To answer someone's questions I'm 19 You're not too old to learn.
Author krq12 Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 Flipping them off is not the answer. Number one you don't know if they're a nice person or not so why would you want to be mean to a nice person. number to it's impractical because it's just going to get you a bunch of negative attention and you actually could get yourself in a lot of trouble or assaulted or mugged doing something like that. Number three most women are able to handle it without going to that extreme. If some guy that you don't know is approaching you hold out your hand and motion for them to stay back. Cross the street to avoid them. If they're at a party just walk off. None of that is as abrasive as flipping them off. And if they corner you just say excuse me and go talk to someone else. if this is a real problem for you and most of the time you don't want to be approached why not wear a wedding ring on your left hand. Not that that will stop everyone but you can always hold it up. You're going to get yourself hurt if you keep this up. So learn some social skills. But the thing is I think some people think I like men who are really below me just because we're the same color and then they try to talk to me think I'm shy or something. Which I am kind of but that's not the reason I won't talk to them they'll continue to try to talk to me it seems
Garcon1986 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Thinking about maybe what somebody else maybe thinking is a way to failure. Take this knowledge for free, from a 30 year old who has failed too many times on that hill. 1. Be civil to others no matter what the situation. 2. Know the kind of guy you like, and relentlessly seek out the guy no matter what others say to you. 3. Be willing to take in advice to improve your life and improve your relationships. 4. Be a professional, grown woman at all times. 5. Don't let woman on woman rumor spreading and catfighting ruin your life. Other women don't run your life, you do.
nospam99 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Why is this wrong? I don't really know how else to ask someone to leave me alone. Generally if I know I don't like a guy, which I know in a matter of few seconds most likely then I'm going to flip them off tell them to leave me the ____ alone etc... Well the other day at work I was talking about how I hate that I can't flip guys at work off. The guy I was talking to totally flipped out and he's not one of those guys he's gay (well more bisexual but that's not the point) and the chick acted like I was plain out mean. My thing is if I don't they get all aggressive and keep trying to talk to me. Being nice never worked. I prefer them to just get it over with with hating on me. Because they're not going to like that they can never get with me. I don't know how else to be honestly. My friend said I'm going to get myself killed doing this but I don't see how it seems it goes better this way generally for me than actually being nice. I'm voting the other way. If, in fact, guys you reject get aggressive and keep trying, I see nothing 'wrong' with being aggressive in return. I'd think telling a guy 'to leave' you 'the ____ alone' should work without the flipping off. HOWEVER, your friend has a point about 'going to get' yourself 'killed' (well hurt anyway - reputation or physically). Because of that risk, while I agree that a strong rejection is not wrong, it also is not wise. Maybe 'I'm not interested. What else do I need to say to convince you to stop bothering me?'. Good luck. 1
preraph Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 But the thing is I think some people think I like men who are really below me just because we're the same color and then they try to talk to me think I'm shy or something. Which I am kind of but that's not the reason I won't talk to them they'll continue to try to talk to me it seems Well, you don't need to flip them off. You just need to learn to say "No, thank you, I'm interested in someone else." Then if they still bug you, say, "I'm not ever going to be interested, and you need to stop contacting me. I like someone else." 1
preraph Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 But the thing is I think some people think I like men who are really below me just because we're the same color and then they try to talk to me think I'm shy or something. Which I am kind of but that's not the reason I won't talk to them they'll continue to try to talk to me it seems Also, I have to add that this color scale rating system is very sad.
Giraffe-A Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 You really don’t need to flip someone off or go off the handle. It’s how you handle yourself, a person of value, that keeps guys from acting up. That old saying, cheap prices attract the crowds. If you’re referring to the “aye mami let me holla at you” ordeal, then you may need a change of environment, because with your personality, you are very likely to meet the wrong type of guy even if he is within your physical preferrence.
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 What the hell country you working in? Here you could place a lawsuit for sexual harassment. That kind of behavior is not tolerated. If I were you I would find a different place of employment where it's mostly women if this is how men in that country treat women. For a quick fix you could slip on a fake engagement ring 1
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