Author Purepony Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 Has she ever seen "What Not to Wear"? Maybe there are repeats on demand you can watch with her. It's pretty eye-opening and shows how people (more often woman on the show) accept that their friends or significant others mean them the best and just yield to fashion advice. I watched it years ago and they made some garish frumps into goddesses. There has to be a way to communicate well intentions rather than mockery or hurtful criticism. If if it starts to go wrong, it's worth the effort to try and learn if you can steer things away from hurt. Don't listen to the ones pumping you with defeatism that they would have a fit if someone tried to change them. It's manners and how to be a considerate and sensitive facilitator of someone else's obscured greatness. It is not about dominating her. Exactly I’m not trying to dominate her or fight her on it but most will agree she looks a lot better when she puts the effort to look good I think she’s wonderful and I appreciate her as a person too
basil67 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 It's not at all wrong to be focusing on what you like about her. But at the end of the day, you will have to make a choice as to whether or not you can accept her for who she is
basil67 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Exactly I’m not trying to dominate her or fight her on it but most will agree she looks a lot better when she puts the effort to look good I think she’s wonderful and I appreciate her as a person too Of course, the opinions of "most" are irrelevant to her as she marches to the beat of her own drum. Question is, are you up for a girl who's as alternative as her? From where I'm sitting, owning a 'muscle car' says a lot about you too, and it's great of her to accept this about you and offer to help you. 3
todreaminblue Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Because I like in la and most la people are it’s like that and they also noticed it’s not someone I would date and I’m assuming it’s befause of her clothes I listen to their options because they are my friends and I appreciate their honest input Maybe she is the wrong fit and that’s why I’m trying to narrow the situation, I am focusing on what I like about her, that’s why I’m probably here still entertaining this which as many would say is wrong but I’m just completely sure Truth is I do like her I just don’t like her style of clothes freudian slip of the keyboard...I listen to their options or do you actually mean opinions.... my grandpa once told me... deb opinions are like a.s.s.holes everyone has one......you can listen and nod but you have your own opinion deb and a really good heart so use it.........that's an aussie grandpa though.... la grandpas might be different... its fine to value your friends opinions .......it is preferable however to base your own opinion not on your friends opinions or the location you live in or what others might or might not wear...but from your very own heart and mind form your own opinion and a deeper understanding on the person you might find....wanting..... .....i wish you well....deb
Author Purepony Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 Thank you all for the replies We’re still going to see each other and see how it goes but I’m still not sold on purple pants 2
edgygirl Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Send her to manrepeller.com - she might take the hint Kidding. Leave the woman alone. She deserves to be with a man who appreciates her and her chosen style. 2
jess060191 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 i haven't read this entire thread yet... but the headline made me giggle lol 2
basil67 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Thank you all for the replies We’re still going to see each other and see how it goes but I’m still not sold on purple pants But will you be man enough to tell your "friends" to keep their judgemental opinions to themselves? 2
Author Purepony Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 Send her to manrepeller.com - she might take the hint Kidding. Leave the woman alone. She deserves to be with a man who appreciates her and her chosen style. Yeah okay if it was that easy don’t you think she would have already been with that man I find it hilarious how some women think there’s a factory out there somewhere just manufacturing “men” for every woman type in every corner of the world lol
Author Purepony Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 But will you be man enough to tell your "friends" to keep their judgemental opinions to themselves? If I’m a man in your eyes by doing that then you must see me as a king! They are entitled to their opinions and I appreciate their input as well because theybcan give me a real answer unlike others who chime in with “ let her find a man who loves her that way” or “ let her go” If I find several things I like about a person I don’ let one thing ruin it She has many qualities and she has been improving since the last time I saw her
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 In my longest-term relationship (five years) my g/f early on wore a hat I didn't like. It just made her look too "country"--I don't mean "western" for NYC. When you're a couple, you have to sorta come together and not look like you're so mismatched that is anything goes wrong strangers will think you're "bothering" a woman you don't even know. I bought her a much more flattering hat and coat. She never said a word except how much she appreciated the gift. And she stopped wearing that country black girl getup I didn't care for. Yes, she black, I white. Her face was so radiant and the new frame I bought for it bedazzled. I had the same problem in my next LTR in which I dressed like a Wall Street exec--I'm 6'-3" was 215 and wore a blue or greay pin-striped double-breasted suits--sometimes with two-tone shirt, Missoni and Fendi ties, maroon Italian or gray shoes and matiching belts, maroon soft brief case. I met my g/f at night school (Pace). Sometimes she would wear a tweed coat with a belt and track shoes and, though I was only 6 years older, she looked like an eight grader (she was 26-27 and already divorced). Unfortunately she had BPD as I would ultimately find out and we had a lot of arguments that spilled over into public. I often wondered if people were thinking if that was my daughter, or why is that adult man angry with that teenager? She was too much of a head case--co-dependent and dis-associative to take any cues from me. Ya never know. Play 'em as you see em. If you're g/f is one person and not a collection of personality fragments, she should take gifts with at least aplomb so that you make a couple that look like a couple--not a mismatch waiting for an end.
todreaminblue Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 (edited) If I’m a man in your eyes by doing that then you must see me as a king! They are entitled to their opinions and I appreciate their input as well because theybcan give me a real answer unlike others who chime in with “ let her find a man who loves her that way” or “ let her go” If I find several things I like about a person I don’ let one thing ruin it She has many qualities and she has been improving since the last time I saw her If I’m a man in your eyes by doing that then you must see me as a king! not king but A good dating prospect....i actually think you sorta have it backwards...whose opinion should count over your friends is your own......that would make you a good dating prospect...... what would make you an excellent dating prospect is if you could for every negative thing they say give them two positive traits about her......and when that you would straighten your spine and stick up for her when people even your friends say not nice things about her.....i wouldn't let my friends talk down someone i was dating....even if their motives were with the very best of intentions.....i would not let a person i knew backstab someone i was dating.... do i think you should let her go.....no i dont ....i think it is you who needs improvement honestly.....and personal growth...maybe she is the right one to help you learn something new....broaden your mind and heart a bit ......it happens.....and i hope that she can for you...be that person.....to give you new perspectives...on life love and what friendship really is about..its really about support and acceptance of differences....... and for sure a warmth and appreciation for bright electric purple pants just because she wears them and she is with you.............good luck...deb Edited December 28, 2018 by todreaminblue 1
Wallysbears Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 Yeah okay if it was that easy don’t you think she would have already been with that man I find it hilarious how some women think there’s a factory out there somewhere just manufacturing “men” for every woman type in every corner of the world lol Women have a LOT more options then men. Hate to break it to you. If your complaint is clothes, you’re missing the forest for a tree. 3
basil67 Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 (edited) If I’m a man in your eyes by doing that then you must see me as a king! They are entitled to their opinions and I appreciate their input as well because theybcan give me a real answer unlike others who chime in with “ let her find a man who loves her that way” or “ let her go” If I find several things I like about a person I don’ let one thing ruin it She has many qualities and she has been improving since the last time I saw her And yet this whole thread has had people encouraging you to embrace her quirkiness while just a few posts ago you were going to break it off because you weren’t sufficiently invested. As for being a king, you’re comparing yourself to someone who has the name of a leader but none of the power......and in position due to birth rather than skill. You may want to rethink that. Edited December 28, 2018 by basil67
basil67 Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 Yeah okay if it was that easy don’t you think she would have already been with that man I find it hilarious how some women think there’s a factory out there somewhere just manufacturing “men” for every woman type in every corner of the world lol And you were going to let her go because you weren’t sufficiently invested. Perhaps there’s also a factory making women for you? 1
Author Purepony Posted December 28, 2018 Author Posted December 28, 2018 And you were going to let her go because you weren’t sufficiently invested. Perhaps there’s also a factory making women for you? Yeah but keep in mind since this thread we have seen each other about three more times and she’s cake over to my house, met my friends and even brought me food .... And There must be because just scored another phone number last night :/ We’ll see how that goes now
losangelena Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 Your typo makes it unclear — who got a new set of digits last night? You or her?
Rockdad Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 Sometimes I am ashamed of my own kind. This is one of those times. 3
central Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 I will add that when I met my wife, she had some quirky clothing and grooming preferences. Over time, we both made changes that have suited each other, as we continue to influence each other with gentle comments and suggestions. Basically, things can change, so don't get too hung up on something as superficial as her pants color. 1
Author Purepony Posted December 28, 2018 Author Posted December 28, 2018 Sometimes I am ashamed of my own kind. This is one of those times. Oh yeah you’re one of the good ones I bet ... lol
Author Purepony Posted December 28, 2018 Author Posted December 28, 2018 I will add that when I met my wife, she had some quirky clothing and grooming preferences. Over time, we both made changes that have suited each other, as we continue to influence each other with gentle comments and suggestions. Basically, things can change, so don't get too hung up on something as superficial as her pants color. I really think you are right and that’s why I’m still trying to make the best of it. This morning I got a text from her talking about going to buy clothes and I asked her to send me pics of what she was buying and she had some different shirts that I know she normally wouldn’t wear so I give her a lot of credit for that
Author Purepony Posted December 28, 2018 Author Posted December 28, 2018 Your typo makes it unclear — who got a new set of digits last night? You or her? I did We’ll see how that goes
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