Marc878 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 I doubt it all my suits are tailored and look great I get compliments all the time You'll have to admit it was funny though
basil67 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 I doubt it all my suits are tailored and look great I get compliments all the time Do you get compliments from this girl??
Author Purepony Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 For some reason I can't help but reading your name as Purplepony Haha Hilarious, I love that 1
Author Purepony Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 Do you get compliments from this girl?? Yes I do get compliments from her I think right now she is more invested than I am
Ishy Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 My partner wants to wear an odd colour costume at our wedding, if we decide 100% we are having one, but if that's what he wants it makes me happy he wants to be himself around me. I would not want him to change for me. And vice versa.
basil67 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Yes I do get compliments from her I think right now she is more invested than I am Cool, so she can accept your mainstream clothing....so return the favour and accept her indie style. Unless you're not invested enough to bother. 1
Author Purepony Posted December 25, 2018 Author Posted December 25, 2018 I don’t think I’m invested enough She’s coming over later and it’s christmas I might just pull away after New Years
chillii Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 For some reason I can't help but reading your name as Purplepony Come on... she's probably artistic / alternative / goth / whatever, and you're mainstream. I wouldn't want to be with someone who cannot "get" me. Clothing is an expression of who you are as a person. Exactly , l like her already your just too main stream for her. Don't mess with her free spirit it's a beautiful thing and way too rare these days. 1
basil67 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I don’t think I’m invested enough She’s coming over later and it’s christmas I might just pull away after New Years If you're not even invested, why are you even bothering about what she wears? Sounds like you're just wasting her time. 3
elaine567 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Exactly, l like her already, you're just too main stream for her. Don't mess with her free spirit it's a beautiful thing and way too rare these days. ^^^ this ^^^ 1
Author Purepony Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 If you're not even invested, why are you even bothering about what she wears? Sounds like you're just wasting her time. It’s possible I don’t know because we have a great time together but trivial things about her bother me
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 i have this really strong feeling i need to write a "my girl wears purple pants beaT poem" because i started rhyming it out in my head)i must be starved for inspiration) as soon as i read your opening post...... i understand you have something against purple pants....but purple is actually a beautiful color....would it be different if it were a purple dress or skirt?...maybe its actually the pants you have a problem with....what if it were a purple negligee or undies....if you wouldnt mind them....why not purple pants? and what kind of purple is it...lavender....electric......violet.....purple rocks..blue more...but purple is up there....its a spiritual color.....deb 1
Author Purepony Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 i have this really strong feeling i need to write a "my girl wears purple pants beaT poem" because i started rhyming it out in my head)i must be starved for inspiration) as soon as i read your opening post...... i understand you have something against purple pants....but purple is actually a beautiful color....would it be different if it were a purple dress or skirt?...maybe its actually the pants you have a problem with....what if it were a purple negligee or undies....if you wouldnt mind them....why not purple pants? and what kind of purple is it...lavender....electric......violet.....purple rocks..blue more...but purple is up there....its a spiritual color.....deb It’s not the purple pants in particular it’s her wardrobe. She tells me she doesn’t get asked out much and I can tell it’s because of her wardrobe because my friends met her yesterday and they all said that she’s a pretty girl and would look a lot better if she did her make up, and dressed better ... I think I should have named the thread “I hate her wardrobe” I like purple but purple corduroys and brown boots isn’t my thing ..... oh and it’s like a bright kool aid purple
losangelena Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 It’s possible I don’t know because we have a great time together but trivial things about her bother me Welllll ... If I’m seeing someone and I notice that little things bother me, then I tend to wonder how much I actually like them. “Love is blind” is a truism for a reason. If you were really into her, her wardrobe wouldn’t bother you so much. She may be great in other ways, but something isn’t adding up between you two. 2
Author Purepony Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 Welllll ... If I’m seeing someone and I notice that little things bother me, then I tend to wonder how much I actually like them. “Love is blind” is a truism for a reason. If you were really into her, her wardrobe wouldn’t bother you so much. She may be great in other ways, but something isn’t adding up between you two. That’s true I still would like a few more dates just to make a final decision because she does have qualities I like
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 It’s not the purple pants in particular it’s her wardrobe. She tells me she doesn’t get asked out much and I can tell it’s because of her wardrobe because my friends met her yesterday and they all said that she’s a pretty girl and would look a lot better if she did her make up, and dressed better ... I think I should have named the thread “I hate her wardrobe” I like purple but purple corduroys and brown boots isn’t my thing ..... oh and it’s like a bright kool aid purple Has she ever seen "What Not to Wear"? Maybe there are repeats on demand you can watch with her. It's pretty eye-opening and shows how people (more often woman on the show) accept that their friends or significant others mean them the best and just yield to fashion advice. I watched it years ago and they made some garish frumps into goddesses. There has to be a way to communicate well intentions rather than mockery or hurtful criticism. If if it starts to go wrong, it's worth the effort to try and learn if you can steer things away from hurt. Don't listen to the ones pumping you with defeatism that they would have a fit if someone tried to change them. It's manners and how to be a considerate and sensitive facilitator of someone else's obscured greatness. It is not about dominating her. 1
Wallysbears Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 skinny cords and boots are actually "in" for the past couple of years. 1
losangelena Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Has she ever seen "What Not to Wear"? Maybe there are repeats on demand you can watch with her. It's pretty eye-opening and shows how people (more often woman on the show) accept that their friends or significant others mean them the best and just yield to fashion advice. I watched it years ago and they made some garish frumps into goddesses. There has to be a way to communicate well intentions rather than mockery or hurtful criticism. If if it starts to go wrong, it's worth the effort to try and learn if you can steer things away from hurt. Don't listen to the ones pumping you with defeatism that they would have a fit if someone tried to change them. It's manners and how to be a considerate and sensitive facilitator of someone else's obscured greatness. It is not about dominating her. Sure, but they are not some long-term couple. They’ve barely been seeing each other. I’d argue that OP hasn’t exactly earned the trust to say something about it. The women on that show were nominated by husbands and family members who had seen a devolution of style over time. These two are still in the “getting to know you” phase. Hardly the time to be calling out someone’s style of dress. 2
NuevoYorko Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 How is dressing contemporary a perfect mold ?! I’m not asking for much just some more up to date style. I mean cowboy boots ?? Purple corduroys?? What you call the "bohemian look" actually is contemporary fashion. Doesn't mean you have to like it, but telling a woman who evidently has somewhat avant garde taste in clothing to wear corporate garb most of her waking hours like you do is not going to cut it. 2
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Sure, but they are not some long-term couple. They’ve barely been seeing each other. I’d argue that OP hasn’t exactly earned the trust to say something about it. The women on that show were nominated by husbands and family members who had seen a devolution of style over time. These two are still in the “getting to know you” phase. Hardly the time to be calling out someone’s style of dress. I was gonna say "fair enough". But I still think one doesn't have to "call out someone's style of dress" if they have savoir faire (as it were). It is how it's done and whether it comes off as benign and supportive or selfish and cloddish. Each date can be progressive or a god damned embarrassment. Why defeat one's self from trying to make it better for both with sweetness and genteel suggestion and perhaps a gift that shows how he thinks she can accentuate her positives? After all who is a better judge? She does not have to look at herself except for a few moments. Everyone else does all the time. Not everyone freaks first and has a melt-down over this. Negotiating through feelings is what it is all about. Young people today don't expect to deal. People used to touch-dance with others they didn't even know yet. Feelings are a little hard but should not be fatal.
Versacehottie Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 honestly, i don't think you should wait a few more dates to see. I think you sound half-hearted about her anyway and it is her total style that bothers you. Assuming it's a cultivated style, well then you don't appreciate or align with her expression of herself. Or assuming it's a total lack of style or uncaring of, well then she is unlikely to ever be someone you appreciate for the way they care for their appearance. I just think it's too big a chasm to overcome with not enough emotion or motivation on your end to do so. Not arguing about the rightness or wrongness of biasing against her style. All dating decisions are a matter of preference. So it's pretty normal that you feel some sort of way regarding her expression--and probably she about yours. I think it's bad to drag it out though. It would probably be more confusing to her than anything if you dump her after a few more dates and she will be more invested if she keeps going out with you like things are progressing and in your mind you've already pinpointed a big stumbling block. I don't think it's shallow if you have reduced attraction to her because of how she dresses but i think you have to be careful not string her along and then dump her for such a reason that you clearly see now. I think lots of people are reacting to the fact that to try to change her style would be a rejection of who she is for somewhat superficial reasons. How a person dresses is both a superficial thing and usually a reflection of some deep values too (of who they are) so it's probably something you shouldn't try to change--or wish was something different. Let her go so she can find someone who appreciates her for who she is and so that you can find the best person for you (best match, most attraction to). Good luck 1
losangelena Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I was gonna say "fair enough". But I still think one doesn't have to "call out someone's style of dress" if they have savoir faire (as it were). It is how it's done and whether it comes off as benign and supportive or selfish and cloddish. Each date can be progressive or a god damned embarrassment. Why defeat one's self from trying to make it better for both with sweetness and genteel suggestion and perhaps a gift that shows how he thinks she can accentuate her positives? After all who is a better judge? She does not have to look at herself except for a few moments. Everyone else does all the time. Not everyone freaks first and has a melt-down over this. Negotiating through feelings is what it is all about. Young people today don't expect to deal. People used to touch-dance with others they didn't even know yet. Feelings are a little hard but should not be fatal. But who’s to say this woman WANTS to cihange her style? Who says she feels insecure about her corduroys and cowboy boots? All we know is that OP doesn’t like it. In the grand scheme of things, whose interests need to be served here? Hers, surely. If her outer style of indicative of some sort of inner hatred that needs an intervention, then okay that’s one thing (still wouldn’t say that’s OP’s place), but if she’s perfectly happy and doesn’t want to change her style, then what’s there to be done? To be frank, this seems to be stemming from OP’s ego, that he’s embarrassed to be seen with a woman who dresses such as she does, because it’s somehow a reflection of him. That’s a load of horse crap if you ask me. 2
todreaminblue Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 It’s not the purple pants in particular it’s her wardrobe. She tells me she doesn’t get asked out much and I can tell it’s because of her wardrobe because my friends met her yesterday and they all said that she’s a pretty girl and would look a lot better if she did her make up, and dressed better ... I think I should have named the thread “I hate her wardrobe” I like purple but purple corduroys and brown boots isn’t my thing ..... oh and it’s like a bright kool aid purple why did your friends feel they had to comment on your gf....and put her down... when your friends sabotage your gf what do you say? i see what you are saying you don't like her individual style.....and your friends dont either.....your gf is an only if girl....only if she didnt wear those clothes and dressed more mainstream...only if she did her make up.....she would look better...... maybe she is just the wrong fit for you....what attracted you to your gf in the first place.do you know who she really is.....what she is about ....is that attractive to you....and if it is.....i feel you might have to just look over the outside of her and focus more on why she is beautiful to you...what about her do you find stunning.......deb 1
Author Purepony Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 why did your friends feel they had to comment on your gf....and put her down... when your friends sabotage your gf what do you say? i see what you are saying you don't like her individual style.....and your friends dont either.....your gf is an only if girl....only if she didnt wear those clothes and dressed more mainstream...only if she did her make up.....she would look better...... maybe she is just the wrong fit for you....what attracted you to your gf in the first place.do you know who she really is.....what she is about ....is that attractive to you....and if it is.....i feel you might have to just look over the outside of her and focus more on why she is beautiful to you...what about her do you find stunning.......deb Because I like in la and most la people are it’s like that and they also noticed it’s not someone I would date and I’m assuming it’s befause of her clothes I listen to their options because they are my friends and I appreciate their honest input Maybe she is the wrong fit and that’s why I’m trying to narrow the situation, I am focusing on what I like about her, that’s why I’m probably here still entertaining this which as many would say is wrong but I’m just completely sure Truth is I do like her I just don’t like her style of clothes
Author Purepony Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 So here’s an update We hung out today and on the phones I asked her what she was wearing and she asked why .... I said because it’s cold and we might walk so dress casual and she did. She looks a lot better when she dresses casual so we hung out all day, we watched tv, she cooked some food and then Helped me clean my muscle car without me even asking which was really cool because no girl has ever even asked to helped me clean my muscle car. That was the highlight of the day.
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