Author sammysue Posted September 16, 2005 Author Posted September 16, 2005 Thank you all very much for your help. hopefully i put it to use cuz i love him soooo much , its almost impossible to leave him.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 I just now saw your other thread, and I can tell you that 'porn addiction' right now is the very least of your problems. You have a unique situation to deal with, and right now the last thing you need to do is to push him and argue with him over this. It sounds like his life is a powder keg one match away from blowing sky high. He has pressure coming at him now from all sides. There is no reason to make one of your sides part of that negative pressure. It will not be easy, but given the situation, you will have to let some of the pressure off of him on this matter. He watches this on his own time, when you aren't around. For now, that might be something you have to put up with until he is entirely in your life and you two can deal with this together. Right now he has a much larger kettle of fish to fry.
mixwell Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 It is not unrealistic for her to expect her partner not to look at other women having sex. I can't believe I have to point this out, and argue for moral decency and respect towards the person one claims to love. This f'ing society has gone straight to he!!. Why not? Sex is natural and finding the opposite attractive is also. We are after all animals. We want the next best thing, whether it be a more attractive partner or more money, we always strive to have the best.. Thats what fantasies are about.. Thats the thing I hate about the US.. A lot of people are soo prude when it comes to sex as where European countries are more laid back.. We have made society think this way with idiot idealogy.
mixwell Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 He says that because he figures you'd be even madder. Or he remembers his mom freaking out and doesn't want that again. Or he's embarrassed. Or maybe he doesn't masturbate while he watches but does so just after. Yeah thats what I was about to say.. He probly things you would get even more angry. I think its sad that society looks down on porn because its just human nature. Most people act like little close minded immature kids when it comes to the subject of porn/sex which I think is sad.. (no offense) I am not trying to say this about anyone but its true.
Mary3 Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 Seriously folks : There are millions of men ( and some women ) who view Porn. I don't like to label it * Porn * because lots of things in society are labled and Porn happens to be one of them. The reality is : You ( the previous poster who was offended ) will have to know and deal with the fact that milllions of people in this our planet Earth are looking at erotic images. They are not going to go blind from masterbation. They will not get hairy palms. Masterbation is normal and we all do it ( well some of us will scoff and say we never do it ever to ourselves ) but the vast majority of people play with themselves. Why do they ? Its a physiological release. Its a learned response to pleasure. Its a tension reliever. But so is riding a bike. But alot of people learned to pleasure themselves at a young age. We will not get rid of masterbaters. We will not get rid of erotic images. We will not get rid of the Internet ( well some may try as an end result of being against Porn . ) I think the real issue here is : This man plays with himself and he will do this today , tomorrow and probrobly next week. No-one need be offended by it. And if he choses to put a tape in and watch erotic images... well hes going to do just that. I think if its about trust then you have some deeper issues. Trust that he loves you. Trust that he gets immense pleasure from making love to you. But also trust that he has urges that are far beyond the scope of what we know here. Relax . Learn to leave him alone in his private time. Haven't you ever touched yourself in your private time ? Seriously ....
basscatcher Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 We each have our own set of values. What we like and don't like. What we approve of and what we don't approve of. Apparently this man has his reasons why he watches porn when you are not present. I am uncomfortable with porn myself. I enjoy the male body and find sex to be very pleasing but I don't get into porn myself. I have issues if my man is watching it, reading it, or looking at it. It makes me feel degraded as a woman and if my man needs more situlation then I can feed him myself then I can't be with that man. If people want to say I am insecure with myself and say I have low self esteem so be it. In some ways I do and I think every does. I was raised that porn is wrong. My family instilled in me that it is wrong. I am also a a woman who has had bad sexual experiences but that didn't make me timid to sexual activity unless it is more erotic then like. I personally think she needs to evaluate herself and what she can accept and tolerate. If she cant accept and tolerate his watching porn then she should move on from the relationship and eventually find a man who doesnt get into that sort of thing and let him be with a woman who accepts it. One of the reasons I left my exhusband was because I would wake up at night and he wasnt in bed next to me. I found him numerous times watching porn and masterbating. Even after hours of sex, foreplay, and lovemaking before going to sleep.. It was somethng I just couldnt live with so I got out. (there were other reasons as well.) He still does the same thing. His exgf had the same problems with him and she also felt degraded by his actions and she left him too. (other reasons as well.) Get out if you can't accept his behavoir. It's apparent that he won't change anytime soon. Or, you learn to deal with it.. Porn is fine with some people and not with others. You cant change another person.... You can only make changes for yourself.... (I am no prude, I just don't get why anyone needs porn if you can act it out with your partner.--If you need more knowledge about spicing up your love life there are tasteful books out there that can help with positions, etc..)
mixwell Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 (I am no prude, I just don't get why anyone needs porn if you can act it out with your partner. once again i would think its all about fantasy as we want the best thing.. Some things in porn are just a little too much for our partners. Just like winning the lottery.. Its most likely not going to happen but its nice to think about it.. I think its the same with porn. Also when your partner isn't around its the next best thing.. unless you cheat on your partner but thats a different topic.. Someone posted that they left their husband because he would masturbate after they had sex.. now thats too much for me. sex 2 times in one night is more than enough for me. I couldn't see myself even wanting to look at porn after I have had sex.. haha.
Mary3 Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 We can agree that a warm bodied women probrobly feels better than a hand as most men would agree.? But I happen to know men who have active sex lives but still like playing with themselves. Do I find it offensive ? No ? Why dont I ? I just don't . I used to think it was weird and perverted until I saw it actually....it was kinda neat and different . To watch a mans pleasure on his face was priceless. Yes, of course it does not compare to a loving embrace with passionate love making from your significant other... But *because* it does exist , we can either not accept that it occurs or rejoice that it happens and they still love us.
dnm1010 Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 but once a person is addcted it is a little different... i read that slowly as the adduction progrsses and becomes more serious the person will need more and more serious images to turn him on. regular sex or porn might not be that exciting anymore and they will need different porn... like bestiality etc stuff im sure you can find on the net. you should see what porn turns him on. and of course you need to talk to him. we live and learn what we want in our lives. just like you decide you dont want a cocain addict or what not, you are allowed to not want a man who likes porn.
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