emerald123 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 I’ve been dating my bf for ten years. We’ve discussed getting engaged and our future multiple times. Last week we were having a conversation and I mentioned something about getting engaged. He started by saying that he no longer thought I was the one. That he had questions about our future and he needed to answer them. He told me that he loves me and he wants me to be the one. But that I’m not currently because he has questions as to whether I want to have children or not. And that’s a dealbreaker to him. This is all sudden to me. He has never been this decisive about the things he says. Now he’s saying that I’m confusing everything and that him saying that I’m not the one is not a big deal and I’m just making it a big deal because I’m threatened by his questions. I feel heartbroken. And simply confused. What should I do? Should we break up?
elaine567 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 He's telling you that you are not "the one" after 10 long years, then what do you think you should do? You have hung around for about 7 years too long already... Men who want to marry you, will make it happen. These long term stallers tend to not want to marry you. They will however marry the next girl who comes along...
Author emerald123 Posted December 24, 2018 Author Posted December 24, 2018 Thank you for your advice. Honestly I don’t know what to do. We haven’t spoken to each other since that day. And of course it’s Christmas this week and it just hurts more. Idk if I should tell him that of course I want to have kids with him but I’m not ready yet but I’m afriad he’s going to keep saying that he’s not ready to propose to me. I am okay with him not proposing to me just yet but him saying that he no longer knows whether I’m the one he wants to spend his life with is really heartbreaking. And I don’t know if I can get over that.
Ronni_W Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 Idk if I should tell him that of course I want to have kids with him but I’m not ready yet Given that you do want to have children with him (in the future), where did he get the idea to question whether or not you want to have children? That doesn't actually make sense unless he's just using it as an excuse. On the other hand, do you have a timeline for when your life plan does include you becoming a parent, and have you specifically told him what it is? Rightly or wrongly, he may feel that you've been putting it off or dodging the question, rather than making a concrete plan with him. He may also be reaching a stage in his life where becoming a parent is taking on a priority for him.
Recommended Posts