Lexxi Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 For the past few months, I have been seeing a guy 6 years younger than me. In the past, I’ve known guys who actually prefer older women, but at the same time, some may see it as embarrassing? And may not want to integrate that person in their life because they’re not wanting to tell people about the woman’s age. On the other hand, any women out there who have dated younger men and it turned out not to be a big deal? I can see two, three years no biggie, but what are your thoughts on a 6 year difference- 36 and 42? Just trying to get an idea because I’ve never dated anyone more than a year younger.
Giraffe-A Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 That’s not a huge difference. At 36, he seems beyond the bragging stage. My exes have either been 10 years younger or 10 years older. It never seemed to be an issue. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
Insoc Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 I have been trying to stay around my age 50, I look younger though like 40 ish and I'm on Match so my pictures get a mix of age groups. I have both older and younger woman contacting me, but I have my age range 40 to 53. Youngest I have got in a online fling with was 41, never met though as she was long distance, she said she liked older men, oldest so far is 57 but looks 47, some Women and Men look younger than their age says. I'm going to be meeting up with this 57 year old at some point, if the phone conversations go good, no clue yet. My Ex had a lot of younger men coming after her, 20 years plus younger, some were 5 to 10 years, it appears that younger Men like the Cougar aspect. I personally don't think 6 years is a big deal, but I noticed some differences with this woman who was 41, she was big into texting when I wasn't, also a few things were not the same as someone closer to my age, taste in music and interests. She was more interested in Sex it seemed than anything lol.
chillii Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 l'm a guy and not for any larger gap myself l know how guys really tick over 5 yrs 10 20 into a real relationship or marriage But only 5 yrs , that's not bad unless you look noticeably older than him , if your truly falling for each other see how it goes if your game, Haven't read the whole thread but aside from him wanting kids later that is if he hasn't got any. lf he does then your gonna be getting up there by the time that comes around.
Author Lexxi Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 l'm a guy and not for any larger gap myself l know how guys really tick over 5 yrs 10 20 into a real relationship or marriage But only 5 yrs , that's not bad unless you look noticeably older than him , if your truly falling for each other see how it goes if your game, Haven't read the whole thread but aside from him wanting kids later that is if he hasn't got any. lf he does then your gonna be getting up there by the time that comes around. We both have kids from previous marriages and do not want anymore. I’m definitely falling for him, and he was sort of guarded for a while, almost emotionless. But he’s coming around now and opening up so I’m taking that as a good sign. Maybe I was over analyzing- just wasn’t sure my age bothered him, so it was good to hear a guy’s opinion, thank you.
sabaton Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 For the past few months, I have been seeing a guy 6 years younger than me. In the past, I’ve known guys who actually prefer older women, but at the same time, some may see it as embarrassing? And may not want to integrate that person in their life because they’re not wanting to tell people about the woman’s age. On the other hand, any women out there who have dated younger men and it turned out not to be a big deal? I can see two, three years no biggie, but what are your thoughts on a 6 year difference- 36 and 42? Just trying to get an idea because I’ve never dated anyone more than a year younger. I dated women who were 10 to 15 years older than me when I was 20. No one cared. The women looked much younger than their own age, and everyone thought we were the same age in any case.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 At your respective ages, the age difference between you is pretty insignificant. I don’t think most would really notice and I doubt there’s the same “novelty” factor if you’d met when he was 19 and you were 25, for example. My brother’s lady is 16 years older than him, and while many were certainly surprised at first, it’s been such a good relationship for them both that I don’t think anyone cares. In other words, I wouldn’t even worry about it in your case, OP.
preraph Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Once you reach certain maturity milestones, the age gap doesn't matter as much. For example, a 36 year old dating a 22 year old, there's a huge maturity gap. A 50 year old with kids dating a 36 year old with kids, not much maturity gap. It depends more on 1) if either or both of you either have kids or not. Having kids changes people -- or should if done right! So if he's 36 and no kids and you are 43 and kids, there may be, if not a maturity gap, at least a lifestyle difference that may be hard to navigate.
hippychick3 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 My bf of 5 1/2 years is almost 10 years younger. It doesn’t phase him at all. I look much younger than my age and anyone who doesn’t know my age thinks he and I are the same age.
Insoc Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 I dated women who were 10 to 15 years older than me when I was 20. No one cared. The women looked much younger than their own age, and everyone thought we were the same age in any case. Also older woman are more mature, are often past the stage of game playing, know what they want and are stable often. I have had a few woman 5 to 8 years older than me contact me on match, even though they were past my upper limit, a few looked like they were much younger than the age they listed. Now the opposite does not seem to be true, that is younger woman (under 40) contacting me, many want to stay in their age range or younger.
Lotsgoingon Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 (edited) I disagree ... 36 and 42 is not a big age difference. If at 36, he's embarrassed to be hanging with a 42-year-old that he really likes, then cut him loose. He has no backbone and he and his associates are completely immature. Don't worry about this ... If it comes up, seriously, fire him. I dated a woman 4 years older ... and barely thought about it ... we started when I was 26 ... ended when I was 30 ... Seriously, I did not give her age a thought other than feeling that I was cool for dating a slightly older woman. And we hung out with a lot of my friends and with different work buddies and friends of hers ... NO ONE said one word about our age gap. The relationship ultimately didn't work out for me, but I thought she was quite attractive. Don't forget we guys can be quite binary ... once I decide I want to be with them, then I want to be with them. Period. Edited December 25, 2018 by Lotsgoingon
Trail Blazer Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 It's only an issue if it's an issue for either one of you. When I met my ex wife I was 20 and she was 33. We lasted 13 years. Why we separated had little to do with our age gaps. The age gap posed a few small challenges, but over all nothing insurmountable. 6 years' age gap is nothing. But like I said, it's only a problem if it's a problem for one or both of you. What anyone else thinks is background noise and is largely irrelevant.
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 The only thing that should matter is how compatible you two are. It sounds to me you both are at the same type of life stage and are possibly looking for the same thing. You both are obviously attracted to each other, and feel the same way about each other, so age shouldn't be an issue.
edgygirl Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 I've done it, don't recommend. Sorry. It can work out but I feel it's rare. I ended up marrying him, and his family (oh well, his mom ugh) meddled between us until we broke up. Also, we were in different phases in life - I wanted kids, he was not at the right time for that. If I could go back, I'd erase all of it from my memory, my life and my heart. So much heartbreak But the age difference was larger. I feel very naive for having thought at the time that it would ever work out. 1
gaius Posted December 25, 2018 Posted December 25, 2018 Jason Momoa, the actor who stars in Aquaman, is 12 years younger than his wife Lisa Bonet. I think they've been together something like 13 years now. Examples of how well it works are everywhere really. 1
GreenTea937 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Yes. When I was 35. He was 28. He showed me off. I looked around 27 at the time. Nobody could guess who was older and who was younger. It was horrible due to his immaturity and the fact I had my life together better.
nodramallama Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I'm 52, he's 42, and we are on the same page about nearly everything. It's kind of freaky, actually, how in sync we are. I've finally found someone who can keep up with me! 2
brigit87 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 We both have kids from previous marriages and do not want anymore. I’m definitely falling for him, and he was sort of guarded for a while, almost emotionless. But he’s coming around now and opening up so I’m taking that as a good sign. Maybe I was over analyzing- just wasn’t sure my age bothered him, so it was good to hear a guy’s opinion, thank you. If kids aren't an issue then the age range seems fine if you look the same age. Everyone ages differently. But emotional age is important too. I wouldn't want to date a younger man who looks my age but acts like a child. However, given our culture woman are often bashed for being older than 25. If you're feeling weird about the age difference you may want to rethink going forward with this relationship for your own mental health. 1
stillafool Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Jason Momoa, the actor who stars in Aquaman, is 12 years younger than his wife Lisa Bonet. I think they've been together something like 13 years now. Examples of how well it works are everywhere really. Yeah, and he's always bragging about how beautiful she is. I didn't know it was a 12 year age difference. 1
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I've done it, don't recommend. Sorry. It can work out but I feel it's rare. I ended up marrying him, and his family (oh well, his mom ugh) meddled between us until we broke up. Also, we were in different phases in life - I wanted kids, he was not at the right time for that. If I could go back, I'd erase all of it from my memory, my life and my heart. So much heartbreak But the age difference was larger. I feel very naive for having thought at the time that it would ever work out. I don't think any of that has to do with age, but simply about incompatible expectations. I knew young guys in their 20's dating women in their late 30's, with the guys wanting to get married and have kids. The women were done with that and didn't want anymore kids. They just got caught up in the romance before even discussing their expectations....they just assumed. 1
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 When I met my husband (him 20 me 26), by the third date I told him my expectations, and if he was alright with that we can continue seeing each other. Almost 29 years later, we are still together. We are a total match, but also different enough to be independent from each other. A nice balance. 2
edgygirl Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I agree - partially, as his age did influence it. I was on my 30s and he on his 20s. At the time I indeed didn't get what dating was about, and didn't know better to discuss my expectations. I just loved him and thought things would fall into place because of our love. Quite naive... I don't think any of that has to do with age, but simply about incompatible expectations. I knew young guys in their 20's dating women in their late 30's, with the guys wanting to get married and have kids. The women were done with that and didn't want anymore kids. They just got caught up in the romance before even discussing their expectations....they just assumed.
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