luvsux69 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Been dating a 26 year old female, Im 33 and all has been going well until last week. She was emotional last month and the month before but nothing too serious as she reconized it, asked to let her calm down and she did. Problem now is that a week before her period, she starts acting up again and this time, each day shes been up and down, up and down, quiet then up and down. Last tuesday was the first time she ingored my text, i let it be. At 8pm that day i asked her to call me, she said i will when i can, then never did. Wednesday morning i asked her whats wrong babe? Talk to me...she says we can talk later. Later that night she asks how my day was and i say lets go grab food! She replies with a devastating message: Okay so I wanted to get something off my chest for a few days I been thinking about it and it’s been giving me anxiety. I care for you so much and I want everything to go back like it was when all it was all happy and peace. I love you a lot mike you need to understand know it and believe it . But I was thinking maybe that’s why I was off plus my period (Ofcourse) . My point is I realized I can’t be fully committed to anything right now not only my issue but also financially and the job is causing extreme stress on me . You can imagine how u might feel if I u were in my shoes no money no stable job and your love life is just complicated just been a very difficult time for me . I don’t want us to stop talking but I really can’t do more for now at least to when I get to a point where I’m able breath because honestly I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted no matter how positive I try to be I’m getting just tired I need a break from everything that’s been going on in my life . And you are an amazing person your my best friend Nd I can’t lose it because neither of us made mistakes towards one another . I’m sorry Later she says: I cant commit now, thats not a break up, i didnt say i dont want you or not to talk anymore. I need to just relax and you pressuring me sometimes wasn’t really helping me. I asked how was i pressuring her and shed never explain it. Ive tried bringing up the issue each day and shes been up and down. I love her and im concerned.
Giraffe-A Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 It does sound like she is sincere in what she is asking. The details are something you will have to talk about later. For now, she is asking you nicely to give her some room to sort out her personal issues. And you totally should honor that. Thank her for letting you know. You will respect her wishes and tell her to take all the time she needs. And let her come to you. If you can survive this thing this early in the relationship, you guys may just make it out strong.
Larry56 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 She's basically breaking up with you but doesn't want to lose the attention you're giving her. She wants to be able to talk to you when she needs it but doesn't want to be burdened by being in a relationship with you. Don't bother asking/pressuring her for an answer because she doesn't want to tell you outright she's not feeling attraction to you right now. Best to drop off and stop contacting her. 1
Normm Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 I asked how was i pressuring her and shed never explain it. Ive tried bringing up the issue each day . One of the ways you are pressuring her is trying to bring up the issue each day.
Gretchen12 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 if you feel it worth mentioning that she ignored a text last Tuesday, you're probably being too clingy. just relax.
chillii Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 (edited) To me it looks like pretty well what she's said , in great detail actually. She feels pressured she feels her lifes in a bit of a mess and she feels she can't cope or be in it 100%. Doubt she'd go saying she loves you and stuff unnecessarily otherwise , she didn't have to. But man asking her every day ahhh, that is pressure , a lot of pressure. There;s probably heaps of other things your doing and saying to that you don't think are pressure and she's really feeling it on top of her own stuff right now. No one can know or be sure , don't know her or you but rather than throw it away on assumptions , l'd just try giving her some space for a week or two first of all. If it's what some are saying she'll probably take that and run but it might not be and a week or two to herself will really help her clear her head and then , who knows. She might even contact you in that time feeling clearer. Just tell her you wanna give her some space for a week or two to help clear her head stay away from her don't go pestering her with messages and calls and just leave it at that. Edited December 23, 2018 by chillii
fred123 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 To me it looks like pretty well what she's said , in great detail actually. She feels pressured she feels her lifes in a bit of a mess and she feels she can't cope or be in it 100%. Doubt she'd go saying she loves you and stuff unnecessarily otherwise , she didn't have to. But man asking her every day ahhh, that is pressure , a lot of pressure. There;s probably heaps of other things your doing and saying to that you don't think are pressure and she's really feeling it on top of her own stuff right now. No one can know or be sure , don't know her or you but rather than throw it away on assumptions , l'd just try giving her some space for a week or two first of all. If it's what some are saying she'll probably take that and run but it might not be and a week or two to herself will really help her clear her head and then , who knows. She might even contact you in that time feeling clearer. Just tell her you wanna give her some space for a week or two to help clear her head stay away from her don't go pestering her with messages and calls and just leave it at that. why go out with someone who needs space and deals with difficulties with space. not wat i want from a relationship
ExpatInItaly Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 I’m afraid that this one is probably done, OP. She doesn’t sound as though she is at a point where she wants to commit, for a number of different reasons. Do what she’s asked and take a big step back. See if she’s willing and able to take iniative to keep this going. But prepare yourself for the possibility that she isn’t.
hippychick3 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 She's basically breaking up with you but doesn't want to lose the attention you're giving her. She wants to be able to talk to you when she needs it but doesn't want to be burdened by being in a relationship with you. Don't bother asking/pressuring her for an answer because she doesn't want to tell you outright she's not feeling attraction to you right now. Best to drop off and stop contacting her. This. Sorry, OP. It’s best to just move on.
chillii Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 (edited) why go out with someone who needs space and deals with difficulties with space. not wat i want from a relationship Well there ya go , you don't feel enough for her to give her some time just to be sure so why bother anyway. Don't forget , it might only be a temporary thing right now she has her hands and head full. Orrrr , maybe she is just not feeling it enough either. Up to you ps, in my humble opinion , expat summed it up. Edited December 23, 2018 by chillii
Zippy2000 Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 She replies with a devastating message: Okay so I wanted to get something off my chest for a few days I been thinking about it and it’s been giving me anxiety. I care for you so much and I want everything to go back like it was when all it was all happy and peace. I love you a lot mike you need to understand know it and believe it . But I was thinking maybe that’s why I was off plus my period (Ofcourse) . My point is I realized I can’t be fully committed to anything right now not only my issue but also financially and the job is causing extreme stress on me . You can imagine how u might feel if I u were in my shoes no money no stable job and your love life is just complicated just been a very difficult time for me . I don’t want us to stop talking but I really can’t do more for now at least to when I get to a point where I’m able breath because honestly I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted no matter how positive I try to be I’m getting just tired I need a break from everything that’s been going on in my life . And you are an amazing person your my best friend Nd I can’t lose it because neither of us made mistakes towards one another . I’m sorry Later she says: I cant commit now, thats not a break up, i didnt say i dont want you or not to talk anymore. I need to just relax and you pressuring me sometimes wasn’t really helping me. I asked how was i pressuring her and shed never explain it. Ive tried bringing up the issue each day and shes been up and down. I love her and im concerned. She cant commit now but yet its not a break up? How mixed up a message is that? Id ask may be to slowly back off for now. If she cant commit now then you`re not boyfriend and girlfriend so there should be no more benefits. You are just friends. Its like she wants to soften the blow by using mixed up words to confuse you. You are either in or out.
Author luvsux69 Posted December 24, 2018 Author Posted December 24, 2018 The weird part is that she said she doesnt want to stop talking and that she just needs to get her life together. Yesteday she ignored me and i let her be didnt complain and today she messaged me saying i miss you (along with a Christmas video from the internet). I’m afraid that this one is probably done, OP. She doesn’t sound as though she is at a point where she wants to commit, for a number of different reasons. Do what she’s asked and take a big step back. See if she’s willing and able to take iniative to keep this going. But prepare yourself for the possibility that she isn’t.
Author luvsux69 Posted December 24, 2018 Author Posted December 24, 2018 Ladies and gents, shes still talking to me but igored me yesterday. Today at 11 she sent me a christmas video and said i miss you.. I want to respectfully let her know im not liking this up and down ****. One day shes hot, next day shes distant or ignores.
alphamale Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 I want to respectfully let her know im not liking this up and down ****. One day shes hot, next day shes distant or ignores. maybe she's bipolar?
stillafool Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 Ladies and gents, shes still talking to me but igored me yesterday. Today at 11 she sent me a christmas video and said i miss you.. I want to respectfully let her know im not liking this up and down ****. One day shes hot, next day shes distant or ignores. She's using you while keeping you at arm's length. I promise you if you stay and accept this you will never move on to being her boyfriend. Your best bet is to go NC and enjoy your life.
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