Flamingochicken Posted December 22, 2018 Posted December 22, 2018 So, a while back I posted a topic which got a lot of very straightforward reactions. It was about a guy I met in a bar where he worked and we spent the night after that. Next morning we were all cool and he would send me messages and when I'd reply, his answers would be very long, very enthusiastic, bit flirty, with a lot of questions and interest on his side. There was nothing 'serious' going on, as neither of us was looking for that - so, we would just hang out, chill and then sleep together - more of a FWB thing. He admitted that he thought I was attractive (big shocker if you sleep with someone) When I wasn't feeling well one day in the bar, he sended me a message that he felt bad he couldn't look after me as he was working. When I asked him out -as in I didn't ask him 'Hey, let's have sex' but just asked him if he wanted to watch football (he's a football fan) he backed out saying I wanted to be with him, as in a relationship' which was not the case. Well, needless to say. I didn't see or speak to him after that, only to tell him that he could throw away my coat (I have like 5 and this one was dirty) when he asked, he washed it and brought it into the bar. Ok, cool, quite nice, you'd say. I was in a bit of a rough situation then with losing my job, my parents and blabla and I was a bit drunk so I called him out big time for not just texting me to settle an arrangement for my clothes + suddenly deleting me of Facebook/Snapchat. Mind: it was like 12 in the night or something and he was drunk. He said 'you are wasted, **** off' so I said that he was a prick and so we would verbally call each other out. I apologised the next day. He read it, no reply. I was like, whatever. Two days later he said: 'Hey, sorry, it wasn't me. Now I know this guy isn't really secretive with his phone, so big chance somebody else was using his phone that night, but I thought he was messing around, so I said haha yeah wasn't me either (stupid) asked him if he had seen my football beanie as I lost it, no reply. My male friends told me I screwed over big time with calling him out and I was like ok.. lost case. BUT HERE is where it gets weird as ****. So, he left to his home country for the festive week. I am working a lot so I could not go to the bar where he works in for like 3 weeks, until two days ago. I know his bartender friends, so one of them comes up and says: ''Hey, Paul -insert fake name- left you a bunch of christmas presents!'', obviously I was stunned - I haven't spoken to this guy for 3 weeks, he ignored me and now this- So, I opened the contents of this package and I'll admit it, it was quite funny: Literally 3 sanitary pads and a case to put them in (Guy must have thought I was on my period when calling him out) earrings, beer, chocolate and some other food alongside a note that said 'To Anna -again fake name- Love Paul xx I asked the bartender when he brought this in and he replied ''Oh, on Sunday'' Mind: this was 2 days after he ignored me, so he brought them after that time and he also bought this presents weeks after our fight (????) I liked the gesture, but WHAT the hell does this guy want from me? like a sexual reconciliation? Or am I thinking too much into it, and this might just be a 'I am sorry, present kinda thing? it's so strange for me as I've never received any kind of gift from 'just' a fwb - I mean, who takes the effort to do this for just a shag lol. Anyway, I bought a bag of diapers as he was so drunk one time he started peeing outside the club (amongst other presents) to wish him a merry christmas as well. Christmassy advice needed!!!
salparadise Posted December 22, 2018 Posted December 22, 2018 Christmassy advice needed!!! Oh I don't think it's too much effort for a shag, particularly if it was good shagging and the two of you were getting along. Not being able to acknowledge one's feelings makes for a solemn life, doesn't it? This sounds like an episode of Cheers with Sam and Diane.
Author Flamingochicken Posted December 22, 2018 Author Posted December 22, 2018 Fair, I just don't know why the hell anybody would do that (I wouldn't come to think of it) mostly cause I'd think I'd send off wrong/mixed signals. Never saw that show tho, read the premise. Pretty much it, haha.
salparadise Posted December 22, 2018 Posted December 22, 2018 When I was young (guessing you are) I was afraid to let people inside my hula hoop. I had several really nice young women who liked me. I'd hook up a few times, cut it off and move on. It was all because I was afraid to attach... afraid to be vulnerable... afraid to open my heart for fear of getting it broken. I don't know if you're doing this, but it sounds like the guy is from what he said. So, with the benefit of hindsight I'd advise you to be real with people and with yourself. Don't play it safe by engaging in arms-length relationships. Deal with any vulnerability or worthiness issues you may have in order to be authentic and seek authenticity in others. Be brave, take risks, and dare to experience love and life as fully as possible. The years go by and you don't get any redos. It's not your mistakes that you'll regret, it's missed opportunities.
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