What are the rules of contact with a man? Don't initate anything with a man?

[Dodgersfan11]

Now, why the hell do they tell us women, "DON'T INITIATE ANYTHING WITH A MAN, DON'T TEXT HIM FIRST, LET HIM COME TO YOU." In the first stages of dating, I have to go by another stupid rule, basically I have to sit by the phone for the rest of my life wondering if the guy is going to ask me out again and pursue me? As a woman, I can't contact a man after the first few dates and ask how he is doing and if he wants to go out again? This is bull. First, its the, "don't pursue men, don't chase, don't be easy, be reserved, be shy." I'm like wtf? Aren't these dumb rules that women have to go to "let' the man know we are interested? I don't know about you, but these rules by "reserved" is going to make a man think the woman isn't interested. And what's with "men are hunters?" Why can't I go hunting too??? I mean, if I go to a bar, I can't approach NO ONE, but I'm a woman. This sucks. This makes me think women are just suppose to look pretty and stand on a street corner and wait until a car, I mean, a man approaches us. And what, I can't ask a guy out on the 3rd or 4th date? What about what I want?

[basil67]

You posted much the same question just a week ago https://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/671568-why-women-told-don-t-initiate-approach-man-we-have-go

 

Did the answers there not resonate?

[Dodgersfan11]

This is different though. this is more during the first stages of dating. And more about contact.

[Dodgersfan11]

But if that bothers you that I made a similar post in addition to this post, then I'll go ahead and post there instead. Just tell the moderators to delete this post.

[basil67]

Bigger question is why you take this 'advice' so seriously. There's always been rubbish about dating out there....treat it with the respect it deserves.

[Giraffe-A]

Coming from two cultures, I tend to lean towards this mentality. Mostly, I’ve seen my brothers be transformed, not by the countless women that chased them, rather those they chose. The worst of my brothers actually sat down with my now sister in law’s father. He was a man of rank in the military and he wanted XYand Z for his daughter. Next thing we know, he enlisted in the military. He is now of rank and just opened his own business. This doesn’t happen when you pursue a man.

[Garcon1986]

Take the dating advice that feels most comfortable to you

[losangelena]

You need to determine which method works for you. You want to talk to a man? Call him, text him? Ask him out? Do so. If you find that doesn’t work, try something else. Stop putting so much stock into what you’re “supposed” to do.

[BaileyB]

It seems to me that “the rules” have gone out the window in this day and age, especially with internet dating. Nothing saying that you can’t approach a man, if you are interested... As with anything related to dating, it’s all in “how” you do it.

[chillii]

lf your in the US , seems to be millions of guys in this forum expect women to do all the work and saying they should chase and approach them and they won't go after a woman and ra ra ra.

So if your there actually you should be right doin whatever you want anyway.

Most of them don't seem to even understand a woman holding back in any way l think they must read that as she's not interested anyway.

ps, There's also a lot here even married that talk about how their wife chased them and asked them out amd ra ra,

Edited December 22, 2018 by chillii

[Logo]

Everyone likes to be chased. It's an ego boost. But if the couple is doing it right, then there's no need for anyone to chase. It's just a natural process.

 

 

As a man, I would find it so refreshing if a woman approached me. I wouldn't think less of her. But it all depends on the person you approach.

 

 

 

The same goes for dating. If you feel like you want to ask him out on the third date or second, go for it.

 

 

 

I think society comes up with dating rules because they cover most bases. Not everyone fits the cookie cutter mold.

 

 

I tried following all the rules men are supposed to follow and it got me nowhere. These day, I just do what feels right.

Edited December 22, 2018 by Logo

[Chassit]

Coming from two cultures, I tend to lean towards this mentality. Mostly, I’ve seen my brothers be transformed, not by the countless women that chased them, rather those they chose. The worst of my brothers actually sat down with my now sister in law’s father. He was a man of rank in the military and he wanted XYand Z for his daughter. Next thing we know, he enlisted in the military. He is now of rank and just opened his own business. This doesn’t happen when you pursue a man.

 

 

Sorry, but this a horribly sexist statement. We men are incapable of improving our lives without a woman? Hogwash!! This post s EXTREMELY offensive!

[Chassit]

OP:

 

 

I agree with the folks that say do what makes you feel comfortable. Don't let societal "norms" dictate your happiness.

[FMW]

You're an adult (I assume). Do what you want. The only one limiting what you do is yourself. You don't have to follow anybody's "rules" but your own as far as this goes.