Want to return my wife - addiction to drugs/alcohol

[Ptrest]

I don't know how to start. The problem is that my beloved wife is addicted to alcohol and drugs. It started after her father's death. I understand that it's a hard burden, it is emotionally hard. However, her grief is so great that she doesn't go to work, she doesn't speak to our children and me. She is different now. I cannot recognize a woman I've married. Still, I love her and try to help.

We tried several times a psychotherapy + addiction counseling. She just refuses to listen to the specialists and follow their recommendation. As she says, she doesn't need any help, she is fine. But I see that she is NOT okay!

So, I started researching the Internet and read about only-women rehabs []. I believe that such facilities can help my wife to recover, or at least understand that she needs help. Maybe I don't understand women (my wife!!!) and what they need, I will let the doctors in the rehabs to treat my man, to back her.

 

What I want from all you guys is any advice what to do. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

Edited December 20, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[burnt]

How was she before her father's death? How was your relationship with her? How was her mental health before she started the alcohol and drugs? Prior to the death, did she have any history of alcohol and drugs or was it the absolute new start after the death?

[Mr. Lucky]

So, I started researching the Internet and read about only-women rehabs [].

 

Why women's only?

 

Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

 

I have an adult daughter who's been an addict for 10 years. Having made every mistake in the book in dealing with her, the only thing you're doing wrong is trying to "fix" her yourself. As is often said, you didn't cause, you can't control and you won't cure. Until she's ready, nothing you do will really help and your support will only enable her to act out further.

 

I feel for you, tough spot to be in...

 

Mr. Lucky

Edited December 20, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[carhill]

Welcome to LS....

 

How is addiction generally handled in your country?

 

Can an addicted person be involuntarily committed for treatment?

 

How long since her father died?

 

How long have you been married?

[Wallysbears]

I think there is al-anon where family members of addicts can go for support. Have you checked into going to those sort of meetings?

[SheryD]

I'm really sorry about your wife. It's difficult to be next to an addicted person and know that you can do nothing. My brother abused heroin for 3 years. It was like "I'm fine, I just need to relax." That relaxation lasted too long, and the consequences were terrible.

The only thing I can advise you is to speak to the therapist, join some AA clubs, get counseling support. Please, do not give up and be next to your wife. One day she will wake up and understand that she need help.

Edited December 21, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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