outwithpeterpan Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 A few months ago, my friend K had a long weekend birthday gathering. Her sister drove from 5 hours away to attend. Her sister (call her L) is gorgeous. We played guitar together that night around the campfire, then made breakfast for the group in the morning. I really enjoyed her company. Wasn't necessarily getting a crush vibe. She was friendly but she wasn't staring a lot or touching me. L stayed one night, hung around most of the next day then took a nap and drove home because she had work the next day. The next time I saw K after the trip, she was like "you and L have chemistry" with a big knowing smile. And some of the other people in the group were like dude, L was totally into you, she going to leave Sunday morning and she only hung around to spend time with you. The group also were under the impression she had a boyfriend and it was complicated. I haven't communicated with L in any way since the trip, she added me on Facebook after but that's all. Recently I went to a party. I saw K for the first time in like 3 weeks. I asked, what's new with you? She was like "Nothing really. Oh.... ooooh my sister's coming up to visit!" So I'm going to spend New Year's Eve with some friends, including K, and her sister. So, I'm going to make a move on NYE. Soooooo the question: Does anyone think this is all in my head? I VERY rarely meet anyone who is a serious relationship candidate and I'm worried I built up a few incidental things as signs she's attracted to me. K didn't directly say it, the 3 other people who were there thought it was obvious but didn't really KNOW. Meanwhile, my radar for romantic interest wasn't really going off. I did notice a girl at the gathering (who I had no interest in) who was fawning over me. L wasn't giving me that vibe. What do you all think? Is it plausible that she was into me but the boyfriend situation made her act more demure? Again, I'm curious what you all think but I'm going to make a move either way. Just a risk/reward thing. It'd be criminal negligence not to try. I'm just curious if anyone thinks I'm being delusional.
kendahke Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 The group also were under the impression she had a boyfriend and it was complicated. Until you get clear on this, the rest of this is just mental gymnastics. Get out of your own head on this.
PRW Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 This sounds like college age or early 20's. I VERY rarely meet anyone who is a serious relationship candidate A woman 5 hours away is not very likely to be a real candidate for anything. Here you are already getting caught up in your imaginations of "The One". Just hang out at the party and have a good time. Don't get focused on outcomes. The fact that you are unsure about these things (and asking us about it) tells me you are not ready to handle any kind of serious situation with a woman who lives 5 hours away. You are just caught up with her because she is "hot" and was friendly to you, and you have nothing going on in your love-life currently where you are at locally.
Author outwithpeterpan Posted December 19, 2018 Author Posted December 19, 2018 This sounds like college age or early 20's. A woman 5 hours away is not very likely to be a real candidate for anything. Here you are already getting caught up in your imaginations of "The One". Just hang out at the party and have a good time. Don't get focused on outcomes. The fact that you are unsure about these things (and asking us about it) tells me you are not ready to handle any kind of serious situation with a woman who lives 5 hours away. You are just caught up with her because she is "hot" and was friendly to you, and you have nothing going on in your love-life currently where you are at locally. Your advice about not worrying about outcomes or whatever is well taken. Thank you. And yes, it's very much a pipe dream. However.... I must dispute the notion that this whole thing is strictly because she's hot. To be a serious relationship candidate, someone needs to come from a certain kind of family. They have to have a certain kind of educational and professional background. They need to have certain values. They need to meet a ton of filters that have nothing to do with appearance. The yoga teacher I was slamming a month ago was beautiful and nice to me too, and I never tried to take her on a date. I'm intrigued by L for much more nuanced reasons than that.
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