My girlfriend broke up with me cos i was weak and beta male.

[Optron]

My girlfriend broke up with me only after two months. I saw her maybe 1-2 times a week and we had couple phonecalls. She was into me but i was scared and she lost the spark for me. She wanted to have sex with me and when it came to it i froze and couldnt get up.

 

 

When she told me that she want to break up i already knew it was comming, her bodylanguage told much to me but i didnt realize it until now. She also told me that she likes spending time with me and she wants me in her life, but she is not sure if she wants a relationship now, also she doesnt want me to call a friend, but movie nerd like me, cos movies are a passion we have in common.

 

 

She had a hard life, abusive father, boyfriend, her last relationship ended after 10 years, cos her former boyfriend didnt want kids. Now she is 35 and i am 37.

We were friend for years, but not good ones, i saw her maybe couple times a year. But in august this year i meet her on a party where i was also with friends, i saw nice to her for once and we somewhat clicked. She was still getting over her 10 year relationship.

 

 

We started good, texting, calling, meeting, but i didnt progress the relationship. She and her bodylanguage told me to touch her, hug her and kiss her and i gave very little of it to her and than i failed in bed. The main reason for this is i was out of the game for 8 years, 8 years i had been in girl and i was scared, couldnt be open with her about it, cos in my mind i wansnt good enough for her.

 

 

We were together a short time, but it still hurst. I wanted to call her and see her after that, cos i was needy, but its good thing i didnt do it, cos from what i was reading everywhere, that is the worst thing you can do. I communicated or texted with her maybe once a week and in a calm way.

On the other hand it made me realize all the thing i did wrong and become a better version of myself.

 

 

Its been two weeks she broke up with me and i am working on my confidence, self-esteem, going to him, on my communication. I am not scared or afraid of her or any woman. I have a new passion in my life also. I improved so much in such short time and i only realised that because of the break up.

 

 

Is it still possible i can win her back and would i do that?

I read about the no contact stuff, should a week or two be enough? I didnt text her or call her all the time, she isnt mad, maybe the spark is gone and i want to ignite it again.

 

 

She is really worth it, i thought about it really hard. I wasnt so good with woman, had only 3 short relationships in my life, dont have any good female friends.

 

Sorry for my english, not native speaker.

[SophieG]

I'm sorry about your breakup, it's never easy or fun.

 

Regarding your story, my answer would be, I would like to know what she told you when she broke things off?

For one, she's just out of a 10 years relationship, and she might not be emotionally ready for another one (she might be over her ex, but she also needs time to rebuild herself as a single person).

Plus, if she sees you as more of a friend, it's going to be hard to break that. You might not be compatible in her eyes...

 

Personally, I wouldn't hope too much. It sucks, but I would move on.

[Optron]

She said that we are not compatible in in some areas, she lost the spark we had and maybe she doesnt want to be in relationship. But she likes my company and time together with me. I asked if we should be friends and she said dont call us friends but two people having fun together.

 

 

 

I'm sorry about your breakup, it's never easy or fun.

 

Regarding your story, my answer would be, I would like to know what she told you when she broke things off?

For one, she's just out of a 10 years relationship, and she might not be emotionally ready for another one (she might be over her ex, but she also needs time to rebuild herself as a single person).

Plus, if she sees you as more of a friend, it's going to be hard to break that. You might not be compatible in her eyes...

 

Personally, I wouldn't hope too much. It sucks, but I would move on.

[Garcon1986]

It's good you've understood the concept of being a beta male and being unable to take charge in the relationship. Live and learn.

[elaine567]

I read about the no contact stuff, should a week or two be enough? I didnt text her or call her all the time, she isnt mad, maybe the spark is gone and i want to ignite it again.

No contact is not a strategy to get someone back.

NC is a means whereby you stop all contact in order to give yourself space to heal and move on.

Out of sight out of mind basically.

NC will not likely ignite a spark, it is not designed to do that, it is really designed to extinguish the spark.

[Simple Logic]

Being afraid to cut the cake and erectile problems is not being a Beta issue.