Author toomanyquestions123 Posted December 24, 2018 Author Posted December 24, 2018 Haha thank you all for your comments. Just a little brief about what is happening; We didn't go out yet, but we talk all the time, calls me once per day. He seems so far a decent normal guy ( no issues yet discovered ), we talk all the time about random topics ( not sex, not exes, not the past, no future faking, no forwarding ). When i asked him it seems we are never going to meet anytime soon, he said he wants me to feel completely comfortable before meeting him and he is looking forward for this. He sent the flowers not because he wants to impress me but he was changing the scenario on how we met upon my request since i made it clear i will not seriously date someone i met on Tinder.
snowcones Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 I'm surprised they have a hookup culture in the middle east.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted December 24, 2018 Author Posted December 24, 2018 I'm surprised they have a hookup culture in the middle east. Lebanon is a very open minded culture compared to other countries here in the middle east.
snowcones Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 Lebanon is a very open minded culture compared to other countries here in the middle east. Oh I see. As for the guy you matched with. There are a few things that were strange to me. How did he know where you worked to send flowers after only just matching on Tinder? I think you should meet in person, maybe just for coffee or ice cream, sooner rather than later. Generally men who like to chat online for a long time before meeting end up being marred or are hiding something major about themselves. The point of keeping you online is to develop an emotional attachment to him so that your love for him will make you overlook his detriments.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted December 24, 2018 Author Posted December 24, 2018 Oh I see. As for the guy you matched with. There are a few things that were strange to me. How did he know where you worked to send flowers after only just matching on Tinder? I think you should meet in person, maybe just for coffee or ice cream, sooner rather than later. Generally men who like to chat online for a long time before meeting end up being marred or are hiding something major about themselves. The point of keeping you online is to develop an emotional attachment to him so that your love for him will make you overlook his detriments. While we were chatting briefly for 3 days, i told him the name of the organization i work in. It s a well known company and can be easily found on google maps. He added me on Instagram and i looked for him on Facebook, nope the guy seems honest ( no wife, no secret girlfriend i hope, no kids). We have friends in common, i asked them haha, they said he is such a decent gentle guy. Anyway, he really wants me to like him and i think the issue is that he gained about 10 kgs of weight and he is on diet now, i think that is why he is delaying our date out LOL
snowcones Posted December 24, 2018 Posted December 24, 2018 While we were chatting briefly for 3 days, i told him the name of the organization i work in. It s a well known company and can be easily found on google maps. He added me on Instagram and i looked for him on Facebook, nope the guy seems honest ( no wife, no secret girlfriend i hope, no kids). We have friends in common, i asked them haha, they said he is such a decent gentle guy. Anyway, he really wants me to like him and i think the issue is that he gained about 10 kgs of weight and he is on diet now, i think that is why he is delaying our date out LOL oh ok well thats umderstandable
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 Soooo, after talking over the phone for almost 3 weeks we finally went out on a first date yesterday. Before meeting, he told me that 2 years ago he was diagnosed by severe anxiety disorders due to his work and stress. He's on pills since then. He told me that wouldnt affect his relationships and stuff and he tries to control it as much as he can. Moving forward to our date, he picked me up and went to a fancy fine dining place, ordered an expensive white wine bottle. While we were there, they sat us in the middle of the restaurant, his anxiety took over and asked the waiter to change the table ( because he hates to be surrounded by a lot of people ). We ordered the dinner, he is very funny and sweet and was way much into me, tells me i am gorgeous every now and then. He was asking me if im enjoying my time every five minutes ( anxieties ). After the dinner, he drove me back home asked me if he could see me again and kissed me on my cheek. When he got back home, he texted me hes home and he thanked me for the great time we spent. My question here, i never ever, went on a date with someone with social anxiety and anxiety disorders. Is this a deal breaker ? He seems a really nice guy and he doesnt seem the kind who cheats or lies or deceives. But is this alone a deal breaker or this can be overlooked ?
Andy_K Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 If he's that into you, it probably makes him feel ten times more anxious. Likely that won't be as bad when he feels more comfortable with you. You might also get a better sense of who he really is if you spend some time together around fewer people. Go for a walk somewhere perhaps. If you like him otherwise, I think it's worth a second date to get to know him a bit better and see how it is.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 If he's that into you, it probably makes him feel ten times more anxious. Likely that won't be as bad when he feels more comfortable with you. You might also get a better sense of who he really is if you spend some time together around fewer people. Go for a walk somewhere perhaps. If you like him otherwise, I think it's worth a second date to get to know him a bit better and see how it is. He's funny, average looking, filthy rich ( a rolex and a very fancy car ), good job and seems honest. I will go out with him again, but i have a humble knowledge about anxiety disorders and i don't want to get myself into another trouble.
edgygirl Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) So many people have anxiety. I don't think that it's reason enough to rule someone out, specially if he's self-aware and working on it. I am also anxious but recently found out the real reason.. and I think I will have to work on it with a therapist... pills only give temporary relief and I hope he's aware of it. It might be more than just current work and stress, I thought that was my case too, but turns out it's usually from childhood even if we can't remember. (well intended but emotionally absent parents etc) If you get to date him, you will learn how it can affect your relationship, and if it's something you can take and work with him if necessary. You will only know if you date him. That's why it's called dating... it's a period of time where you spend time together to determine compatibility. Dating for a while doesn't mean you have to marry him, I hope, even in the Middle East He's funny, average looking, filthy rich ( a rolex and a very fancy car ), good job and seems honest. I will go out with him again, but i have a humble knowledge about anxiety disorders and i don't want to get myself into another trouble. Edited January 4, 2019 by edgygirl
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 So many people have anxiety. I don't think that it's reason enough to rule someone out, specially if he's self-aware and working on it. I am also anxious but recently found out the real reason.. and I think I will have to work on it with a therapist... pills only give temporary relief and I hope he's aware of it. It might be more than just current work and stress, I thought that was my case too, but turns out it's usually from childhood even if we can't remember. (well intended but emotionally absent parents etc) If you get to date him, you will learn how it can affect your relationship, and if it's something you can take and work with him if necessary. You will only know if you date him. That's why it's called dating... it's a period of time where you spend time together to determine compatibility. Dating for a while doesn't mean you have to marry him, I hope, even in the Middle East HAHA no i dont have to marry him. We went out again yesterday night, we watched " bohemian Rhapsody " with wine and cheese in the movies. While he was driving me back, i held his hand because i felt it ( i was tipsy and it was cold and raining ), asked him to go somewhere else ( Armenian christmas ) and we have a day off today, but he said no ( he was too anxious because there was a storm ). I thought he really was not interested in me. When i came back home, he immediately texted me and told me how much he enjoys his time with me and that he works differently from guys and not to overthink with him. I like him back, he is funny, weird, smart and kind. But his anxiousness makes me nervous the whole time for example we were waiting in a queue for popcorn and he was like please deal with this i cant stand queues !
elaine567 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Is he anxious as in anxious, or does he not like queues and public places in case someone spots him out with you?
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 Is he anxious as in anxious, or does he not like queues and public places in case someone spots him out with you? No No, he told me before on the phone that he hates queues, they make him nervous like a lot of other stuff...
Trail Blazer Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Just some of my initial thoughts/opinions 1. If you were on the app and not looking for hook ups only, then it’s not just for people looking for hookups only. 2. if I felt uncomfortable meeting someone on an app used predominately for casual sex, then I wouldn’t meet people on there,. I especially wouldn’t meet people there and call them out on it. It’s not surprising if they got defensive about that. 3. It’s too soon to say what I think specifically about this guy. That’s what the dating process is for. The flowers are a nice gesture, though. 3. Oh yea. ,Don’t give tinder randos your work addresss It took me a few days to realize how Tinder worked when I first joined. It uploads information from Facebook. Where I worked was linked to my Tinder account for the first couple of days until I changed it. If the OP didn't modify anything and her info from Facebook carried over, she may well not have given him any info. He could have looked up the address of her work and just sent them to her.
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