Lagoon1212 Posted December 18, 2018 Posted December 18, 2018 Little background: I worked with this guy three years ago. He was always extra nice to me but never asked me out or anything. When I left the job to go back to school, he somehow got my number and texted me. During the period of three years, he would text me occasionally (every three months) beating around the bush but never really asked me out... until May 2018. I accepted and we set the date and time. One hour before the date, he texted me that he was stuck in traffic and if we could reschedule. I was going out of town the following week so we couldn't agree on a date. A month later, he asked me again but I declined due to school commitments and suggested we try again in three weeks. I never reached out after three weeks not did he. In September, he texted again and when (for some reason) I replied with a sad emoji he said "yeah, I am sad too." Finally, this past Saturday, I went out and at 2am I accidentally called his number. The next day, he texted me, and he said he would like to see me. He also mentioned how he has been trying to see me for the last three years but I was never available. I explained that I was really busy with school but also that I am available now and asked what would be a good day for him. His reply "I will let you know sometime next week." (this was on Sunday). Today is Tuesday. Is he really interested or afraid of the actual date?
olivetree Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 Neither of you sound terribly interested. 1
Author Lagoon1212 Posted December 19, 2018 Author Posted December 19, 2018 Neither of you sound terribly interested. I am actually interested. When I told him I was busy, I actually was busy for several months (full time school and full time job with finals and graduation around the corner). But the fact that he didn't tell me his schedule or set the exact date tells me he is not that interested. But then, why bothering me from time to time... why even bother to ask to see me...
preraph Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 I think he's interested. I also think he's really scared and probably has anxiety. But at least he isn't so bad he can't ask. He's just too scared to hang in there through what might or might not be construed as a rejection in the form of putting off a date. You better show up next time when he finally picks a time. And if you don't hear from him, you text him and say "Did you pick a day?" Let him know you are onboard.
Art Anderson Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 Some of this resembles a "dance" back and forth I've been in with someone. I'm like this guy; interested but not interested in carrying on a sometime or somewhere dilemma. 3 years? This guy is as patient as the ocean so he's being calm about it. 2 days later after Sunday and you're stressing? I wouldn't be holding off until Friday if I told you sometime next week but there's still Wed. and Thurs. that he might be contacting you. 1
Author Lagoon1212 Posted December 19, 2018 Author Posted December 19, 2018 Some of this resembles a "dance" back and forth I've been in with someone. I'm like this guy; interested but not interested in carrying on a sometime or somewhere dilemma. 3 years? This guy is as patient as the ocean so he's being calm about it. 2 days later after Sunday and you're stressing? I wouldn't be holding off until Friday if I told you sometime next week but there's still Wed. and Thurs. that he might be contacting you. What do you mean by interested but not interested? Well, he is patient but on the other hand, I am sure he lived his life in meantime, and then, he would occasionally remember me and text me. It is not like he was there waiting for me.
Trojan Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 Yea it seems like your both interested but have busy lives. I’m sure there’s potential there but I don’t think it’s the right timing. Wait it out and then see what happens.
frankspeci Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 My intuition is that he really does like you but hes a bit hesitant or anxious about putting himself out there, probably doesn't want to force it. That's my gut guess, as opposed to him not being interested. I strongly suggest going through with a first date. Seeing what happens.
smackie9 Posted December 19, 2018 Posted December 19, 2018 He's probably thinking he's getting the run-around. If you want to give him a nudge CONTACT HIM. Shoot him a text like "If it will make it easier I'm available these days." or "Looking forward to seeing you soon." throw the guy a bone to reassure him that you are definitely interested in going on a date.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted December 21, 2018 Author Posted December 21, 2018 He never reached out and never heard from him since Sunday
Author Lagoon1212 Posted December 21, 2018 Author Posted December 21, 2018 He's probably thinking he's getting the run-around. If you want to give him a nudge CONTACT HIM. Shoot him a text like "If it will make it easier I'm available these days." or "Looking forward to seeing you soon." throw the guy a bone to reassure him that you are definitely interested in going on a date. I did tell him that I was finally done with school and just got a job and will be working Mon - Wed and possibly off for the rest of the week. I also told him I only work three days a week.
Zippy2000 Posted December 22, 2018 Posted December 22, 2018 Neither of you sound terribly interested. I totally agree with this. Lagoon1212 Why don't YOU make a date with him to show youre interested!
Author Lagoon1212 Posted December 22, 2018 Author Posted December 22, 2018 I totally agree with this. Lagoon1212 Why don't YOU make a date with him to show youre interested! Thanks for your response. I am not sure what to tell him. I am one of those girls that almost never initiates anything first. Also, he said “next week” and that was on Sunday. Did he mean this week or the following one? Am I making this more complicated than it should be?
Author Lagoon1212 Posted December 28, 2018 Author Posted December 28, 2018 Update: Not that this is sooo important but I thought it was funny and weird. So, I texted this guy on Friday but then changed my mind and deleted the text (it is one of those apps where you can delete a text but the other person still can see something was deleted) Anyway, he hasnt been online at all since last week and finally texted me on Wednesday night asking what I deleted. Turned out he saw a part of the text (as a preview when he got it) but not the entire text. Then we texted back and forth. He told me that he has issues with that app..... Last text he sent was “guess what” I fell asleep and replied in the morning and then he replies “ I am on my way to Vegas for good” He told me he was planning to move to vegas but not unitl fall next year. Anyway, this is the second time he insists to see me and ghen blows me off. He even said “I am sad I left you there” which I ignored. Not a big deal, never even dated a guy but interesting:)
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