Is this normal for guys in college?

[400benchdream]

I am a junior in college and have wanted a girlfriend since I started college. Freshman and sophomore year I worked improving myself. I started going to the gym everyday, finding a skincare regimen to get rid of my acne, dressing better, going to a better barber and getting a haircut for my face, and getting my eyebrows professionally. I feel alot better about myself but still am not having success with finding a girlfriend. This semester I asked out 7 girls, one said she would as a friend, another went out with me but in the middle asked if it was a date, then said she was too busy to date me but we should stay friends, the others said they had boyfriends or just said no. Is this normal for guys to go through, because I am starting to get insecure that it’s because my face is ugly, that i’m 5’11, or I am going for girls out of my league.

[Sinister]

Its all about your persona/confidence in yourself. The other factors are meaningless mostly. BTW, at 5'11" you're not short.

[d0nnivain]

I remember tons of flirting & lots of hooking up in college but not too much BF/GF relationship stuff. College is a good time to play the field.

 

Good for you for making positive changes in your life. Keep up the good work & keep trying with various girls. Dating is a numbers game. Eventually you will find the one.

[olivetree]

Improving your looks is good but will only get you so far.

 

How are you asking these girls out?

 

Are you just walking up to random women and asking them out in the first meeting or are you getting to know them a bit first and building some rapport?

[PRW]

I am starting to get insecure that it’s because my face is ugly, that i’m 5’11, or I am going for girls out of my league.

 

You only worked on yourself physically,...to impress women,...who are not attracted visually like guys are. Think about the disconnect there.

 

You failed to work on yourself mentally and emotionally. Women are attracted to confidence, stability, leadership, and someone who makes them feel safe. Women are not looking for a puppy,...they are looking for the pack leader.

 

If they were out of your league they wouldn't have went on a first date.

 

The one didn't think it was a date,...because you didn't present it that way.

 

It is time to grow up. You are a junior in college but the way you wrote this would have made me think you were in Junior High. That is the way it came across. It is very possible that you came off to these girls the same way in person.

 

Get Corey Wayne's book, "How to be a 3% Man",...learn it.

[400benchdream]

Improving your looks is good but will only get you so far.

 

How are you asking these girls out?

 

Are you just walking up to random women and asking them out in the first meeting or are you getting to know them a bit first and building some rapport?

 

Both, two of the girls I was talking to for awhile and I really started to like them. Other girls I would see walking to class or we were leaving the gym at the same time and I would introduce myself and try to start a conversation. If I thought it went well I'd ask if they wanted to get lunch sometime. Not sure if what I am doing now is wrong or if I just need ask more girls out.

[d0nnivain]

You need to ask more girls out & practice your flirting. Read the silly Corey Wayne book but don't talk it as gospel. It's a book about projecting confidence, not a step by step guide.

[olivetree]

Both, two of the girls I was talking to for awhile and I really started to like them. Other girls I would see walking to class or we were leaving the gym at the same time and I would introduce myself and try to start a conversation. If I thought it went well I'd ask if they wanted to get lunch sometime. Not sure if what I am doing now is wrong or if I just need ask more girls out.

 

I think in college it's better to build some rapport first, and it's a pretty easy place to do it.

Plus you usually get a sense of whether or not they are single and interested.

Cold approaching takes courage, so I applaud you for that, but it can weird some girls out if you go in for the kill in the first 5 minutes meeting (they wonder if you're desperate).

 

So, keep approaching women and make friendly small talk (even better if you find a way to be funny) and then say I hope to see you again with a smile.

It builds some attraction and anticipation and shows you're not desperate at all.

And if they frequent the same place (such as the gym) like you do, you likely will see them again.

So talk to them again at that point till you've seen them a few times and they seem flirty and receptive then ask them out.

[smackie9]

getting the college experience is getting swacked at a frat party, hopefully get scoobied then go home. Wash rinse repeat.

[Larry56]

In college women are into the hawt guys. 5'11 isn't really short. So your problem is possibly down to you not giving off a masculine vibe and maybe not being like the 'other' guys in your class (at this current time) that may be confidence but it's possibly also down to your looks (sorry).

 

Take a look around and see which guys are getting the attention.

 

I know these two twins at my work who are babes and have zero confidence but the girls love them because they are both 6'4 and dark. They are just friendly too. I've seen the same pattern repeated over and over again. It's not really confidence that girls like so much as it's the physical part that makes them tingle.

 

Yeah yeah they always claim it's not a big deal but their brains are wired to see it differently to the way men see it.

[PRW]

If I thought it went well I'd ask if they wanted to get lunch sometime. Not sure if what I am doing now is wrong or if I just need ask more girls out.

Kudos for practicing. But asking if they "wanted to get lunch sometime" is not asking for a date. It isn't asking for anything technically,...it is just asking them what they think about the "idea" of lunch,...not about them actually doing it and it certainly does not say "romantic intended date". Lunch is what "buddies" do. That is why the one girl acted as if she didn't know it was a real date. Personally, I think she knew and it was just an excuse (her "out"), but just the same, don't set yourself up for things like that.

 

Dates need to be evening dates located in a proper romantic context. Save the "lunch dates", the "coffee dates", and any other "daytime dates", and "group dates", until you are in an exclusive relationship where your "intent" is no longer a question and you are no longer competing with other guys she might also be seeing. Also group dates in a college context has a high rate of cock-blockers, and if you aren't experienced with good technique and confidence, you will get pushed out if she is attractive to a lot of other guys.

[Larry56]

That doesn't mean you have to be 6'4 to get a girlfriend...it just means that you have to fit a certain 'type' that a girl wants in her teenage years.

 

However, as a man whos a bit younger than me. I would say...

 

Don't try to *get* into a relationship. Your goal should be to get sex. Not a relationship. Because as much as women complain endlessly about guys not taking them out on dates...they usually want the guy smashing them to be their boyfriend. Sorry ladies but you know it's true.

[400benchdream]

That doesn't mean you have to be 6'4 to get a girlfriend...it just means that you have to fit a certain 'type' that a girl wants in her teenage years.

 

However, as a man whos a bit younger than me. I would say...

 

Don't try to *get* into a relationship. Your goal should be to get sex. Not a relationship. Because as much as women complain endlessly about guys not taking them out on dates...they usually want the guy smashing them to be their boyfriend. Sorry ladies but you know it's true.

 

My body type is not for everyone. I am a powerlifter and am prepping for a bodybuilding show. Some of my girls I know who are close friends say I have a good body but have too much muscle. As to my 'type' I kinda just joke around with people and girls and try to be easy to talk to. In class I have no trouble making friends or making people laugh.

[400benchdream]

Kudos for practicing. But asking if they "wanted to get lunch sometime" is not asking for a date. It isn't asking for anything technically,...it is just asking them what they think about the "idea" of lunch,...not about them actually doing it and it certainly does not say "romantic intended date". Lunch is what "buddies" do. That is why the one girl acted as if she didn't know it was a real date. Personally, I think she knew and it was just an excuse (her "out"), but just the same, don't set yourself up for things like that.

 

Dates need to be evening dates located in a proper romantic context. Save the "lunch dates", the "coffee dates", and any other "daytime dates", and "group dates", until you are in an exclusive relationship where your "intent" is no longer a question and you are no longer competing with other guys she might also be seeing. Also group dates in a college context has a high rate of cock-blockers, and if you aren't experienced with good technique and confidence, you will get pushed out if she is attractive to a lot of other guys.

 

Ok for next semester I should sit next to girls I like talk to them for a few classes then asking them for example, Saturday we should get pizza at ___ at 6pm? I am planning this right, should I add the word date in the question?

[Wallysbears]

Kudos for practicing. But asking if they "wanted to get lunch sometime" is not asking for a date. It isn't asking for anything technically,...it is just asking them what they think about the "idea" of lunch,...not about them actually doing it and it certainly does not say "romantic intended date". Lunch is what "buddies" do. That is why the one girl acted as if she didn't know it was a real date. Personally, I think she knew and it was just an excuse (her "out"), but just the same, don't set yourself up for things like that.

 

Dates need to be evening dates located in a proper romantic context. Save the "lunch dates", the "coffee dates", and any other "daytime dates", and "group dates", until you are in an exclusive relationship where your "intent" is no longer a question and you are no longer competing with other guys she might also be seeing. Also group dates in a college context has a high rate of cock-blockers, and if you aren't experienced with good technique and confidence, you will get pushed out if she is attractive to a lot of other guys.

 

This.

 

Preferably you ask by a Tuesday or Wednesday (at the latest) for a prime time date spot on Saturday evening. And then you confirm with her on Thursday giving her the time/location for Saturday and asking if she'd like you to pick her up or would she be more comfortable meeting you there.

 

Worst that happens is they say no. And then you move on.

[PRW]

Ok for next semester I should sit next to girls I like talk to them for a few classes then asking them for example, Saturday we should get pizza at ___ at 6pm? I am planning this right, should I add the word date in the question?

 

Yes, specific day/time/place. You make the plans. It is an offer,...not a question. Your attitude should be that you are giving them and opportunity to spend time with you,...not an opportunity for you to spend time with them. It is something they should want,...not something you are trying to get from them. It is a mental perspective that you have to learn. The word "date" doesn't have to be specifically used, ...or you can,...doesn't really matter. Again, it is an offer,...not a question.

 

There is no such thing as too much muscle. Any girl that says that is just goofy or it is BS,...in any case just ignore it as if you never heard her say it,...it isn't worth using up a brain cell. Save the brain cell for something more important.

[Garcon1986]

Any woman who tells you she doesn't care if you have nice muscles or not is just trying to be nice to you... deep down she needs something nice to look at just like men appreciate a nice female physique. It will always work in your favor to have nicer muscles.