ktmiller222 Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 I had previously casually dated this guy and things just slowed down and we stopped seeing each other. We never really talked about it and he seemed to just check out (he has clinical depression). In the last 2 months, we've been texting each other. It's not every day but it's frequent. I do miss him so I finally got the courage to see if he wanted to meet up sometime. He said yes. We haven't planned anything yet-it's been 2 weeks since I asked. He does randomly text me (one time at midnight just to see how I was doing) but hasn't planned anything. Do you think I should plan something or just wait for him? I know things are busy with the holidays but we do live close enough we can just meet even if it's just for one drink. Also, do you think I should bring up what in the world happened to us since we just stopped talking out of nowhere or should I just keep it a friendly conversation? Thanks guys!
basil67 Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 If he's got clinical depression, he won't have the bandwidth to go organising the get together. If you want this you will have to drive it. No, don't go talking about what happened. He's already struggling and doesn't need to be doing this analysis with you. What he needs right now is you having zero expectations of him....and this includes being light and friendly.
Gretchen12 Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 You need to really lower your expectations with a man with clinical depression. I don't recommend doing this but if you really want to, maybe just be friends to start? That way you are available to him without putting pressure on him. Basically it's his show, if you want to do this.
BluEyeL Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 I suggest letting this go completely. No blame on him because of his depression, but for you, he is just a time waster. If you want to find someone to be happy with, focus your time and attention on dating other men to find one that will be there to build something with you, not someone you need to drag out of bed. 2
smackie9 Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 Girl there is better out there....find it.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 I suggest letting this go completely. No blame on him because of his depression, but for you, he is just a time waster. If you want to find someone to be happy with, focus your time and attention on dating other men to find one that will be there to build something with you, not someone you need to drag out of bed. Totally agree! If you think its bad now, it'll just get worse over time. I sympathize w/people who have depression, but it's extremely hard to date someone who has these issues. Do not settle for that and get pulled into his depression. 1
Author ktmiller222 Posted December 17, 2018 Author Posted December 17, 2018 So I will be going to dinner and drinks this week with a guy I casually dated for a few months. We never talked about what happened with us-things just stopped and there was a lack of communication. I do have a hard time expressing my feelings and tend to keep things to myself (I know it's bad). We are both at fault. We've texted each other every so often the last 2-3 months. All good texts-flirty and to see how we are doing. I really do miss him and I am happy to see him. I know not to go into this dinner with any expectations but I am also nervous because I don't know if he will bring anything up. I rather it be positive, at least at first, and then talk about what happened if things are going good. Has anyone been in this situation before? Meeting for dinner with someone you just casually dated? I need advice on what to do! We never fought and we were always kind to each other. Since he did agree to meet, do you think it's because he wants to talk about what happened or he just wants to hang out?
Versacehottie Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 (edited) My guess is that he still has feelings for you, like you do for him. Guessing he would still like to pursue you. Pretty sure on all of this. Ok, will he want to discuss it with you? Well that's more of an individual type thing. Probably only someone who knows him could guess that. As a generalization, the guys I know typically will TAKE their next chance with a girl rather than discuss it or rehash anything (i.e. ACTION, in other words if he is meeting you, he knows he has a chance). I would guess specifically if previously it was casual and not quite a relationship and you have no bad feelings toward each other or it didn't "end" badly, then there is not much of a reason to "say" anything. Yours sounds like you both lost touch kind of because other things may have been more of a priority. Some guys i know would perhaps make a cheeky, one or two sentence like teasing you, making reference to having lost touch with each other. That's kinda a test to see if you are bothered, if you need to talk about it, and an open door for you to say if you've moved on and aren't available and YOU are just hanging out. Think if you don't really say anything to the "test" but just go and have fun and be flirty if you still want things to go in that direction with him. I know less guys like this but yeah some will want to talk about things. Usually more emo type guys. What type is this guy? Edited December 18, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 Just enjoy the dinner. Stop over thinking. You are not requires to solve everything during this dinner. It's about a meal & seeing if there is a reason to try again.
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