SamIamm Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 (edited) Okay so I’ve been going to this gym for about a year now. For the past few months there has been this girl going there and she has been attending the same gym class as me. I’m naturally shy so even approaching a girl scares me. I got out of a 7 year relationship so I’m a even more rusty lol. I don’t usually crush this easily and loathe it. It’s just something about her. I had been checking her out, not creepy or anything and one day she just randomly asked me if I was going to stay for a second class. I completely froze. I honestly can’t remember what I said but I kept it brief as my anxiety was at an all time high. I beat myself up for it for two weeks straight. So finally I gathered up enough strength to strike up a conversation with her. I cracked a cheesy joke and she started laughing. She even noticed that I missed a class because she said she didn’t see me last week. We exchanged names and kept it brief and when I told her I was going to stay for a second class, she smiled and said well enjoy it, smiled and left and that was it. A few days later, I saw her again. In the past, on occasion she would jump rope next to me but this time she didn’t. I thought may be she was avoiding me. We didn’t really talk during the workout so I assumed I spooked her off. As I was putting up the equipment, she smiled and said “hi sam” and again I froze. Looked down and said hi and pretended to be busy. I honestly cannot get past my anxiety and how can I find out if this girl is interested in me? Edited December 17, 2018 by SamIamm
GinON Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 DUDE! She is into you, just take it easy, and be ok with your awkwardness. ITs oK to be that way, accept yourself and just go with it. You can laugh at your failure or goofy success later but if you like her let her know it, regardless of how. If she says no thanks, I am married, or whatever, you made her day by finding her attractive. If she responds well, get her phone number call her and go out and have fun. If you are as rusty as you sound, things might fizzle out, but so what? Just be kind to her and it will be ok either way. If you wanna work on your shyness and feelings of self worth, get get some therapy.
Author SamIamm Posted December 17, 2018 Author Posted December 17, 2018 Thank you! It’s like I have everything mapped out in my head but when I see her, it all goes out the window lol. But I’m going to take your advice.
smackie9 Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 You have to NOT CARE. That's right NOT give a damn about what she thinks. Stop thinking/mapping things out. Keep it simple "Hi how is your day going?" EYE CONTACT. smile if you freeze. Stop putting her on a pedestal. Think of her as say a coworker or someone neutral. You don't have to put on a show or entertain her. 1
Mac0908 Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 How old are you, 12? Man up and ask if she wants to grab a drink sometime, no pressure. 2
preraph Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 She could be interested, or she could just be a jovial person. Either way, you can ask her to coffee, but if you can't bring yourself to do that, you're not ready to date yet and might want to work on that. There's no guarantees on these things. If you wait to see if she throws herself at you, some other guy is going to come along and act on it while you're still procrastinating. If I were you I'd just make a point of talking to her at the gym and find out things about her. This time of year, it's easy. Got a big Christmas planned? What are you doing? See if she mentions family, a husband, a bf, kids, etc.
Author SamIamm Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) ***Update*** so a few days before Christmas. Our gym class ended and I wanted to get her number. So I was about to walk up to her and another guy began talking to her. So to avoid looking like a creep I walked away. I went home frustrated as all hell. However the next day at the gym, she said Hi Sam, and like the coward I am I froze and she said “do you even remember my name?” And I replied yes, she then asked then “what is it?” I said her name and she said “good” and started laughing. We began talking about what her plans were for Christmas. She told me how she was going back home for a week and began talking about her job and what she had majored in. I wanted to strike while the iron was hot. So when the class ended I asked did she wanted to go get coffee and she said I’ll let you know. I automatically assumed it was a soft rejection. So on Wednesday , I saw her at the gym but didn’t want to bother her because she was talking with other people. However the very next day we worked out during the same fitness class and she didn’t even say anything to me. So I finally approached her and she didn’t talk to me that much, she did smile and was polite then started walking off about 30 seconds into our convo. I was shocked and hurt honestly so I walked over and began chit chatting with some more friends and then she just left without even acknowledging me. But today was even more weird. I’m not sure if she saw me but she was in close proximity to me and again she didn’t say anything. I’m sure she knew I was there. I can take rejection but I don’t understand why she’s being distant from me? At first I thought she was playing hard to get but I already asked her out for coffee so honestly I don’t know. I love going to this gym but I feel like she may be uncomfortable but at this point, I’m so frustrated at how rude she has been to me, I don’t even want to have a conversation with her. Edited January 5, 2019 by SamIamm
manfrombelow2 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) OP's mistake was when he didn't take the chance to ask for the girl's number at their 1st conversation, when her interest level for him was (seemingly) high. Girls are emotional creatures (which is not their fault), which means they mostly think, act and behave based on the level of emotions going on in their head at that very moment. Which means a girl could show you very strong signs of interest today but can totally act cold towards you tomorrow. Or a girl can say how much she loves you last week but wanted to break up the following week. This is not their fault, this is just the way they were designed to be. Edited January 5, 2019 by thaygiaogiang
Mrs._December Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 She's got no romantic interest whatsoever and I think she saw you as one of the 'safe' guys she could talk to without being hit on. Not that you did anything wrong, but when you asked her out for coffee, it confirmed to her that you weren't just one of her buddies at the gym, but a guy that's interested in her. Now she's avoiding you because she doesn't want to encourage you in any way. 1
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