zerbinetta Posted December 16, 2018 Posted December 16, 2018 Hi everyone, I was just broken up with last Sunday. I'm still trying to make sense of the situation. We were together just over 2 months--not long, but it got intense quickly. Basically, the man shut himself off to me after I leveled with him about the instability of my job, and the likelihood that I wouldn't be here forever. I'm an American working in Germany as an opera singer. He started pushing me away, being critical and argumentative, but I attributed that to career difficulties he was going through. I gave him plenty of space, but every time he saw me, he seemed bothered by my existence, and I was a very low priority for him. After spending the weekend together, he "met a friend for coffee" and then promptly came over again and broke it off. I naïvely thought that if two people care enough about each other, they can find a way, no matter what. I've come to the conclusion that I just don't fit into his "box" of a woman's place in his life. So he stopped trying and shut down. Anyway, I'm pretty crushed. He was the most decent man I've ever dated. Any sympathy/empathy for the situation would be much appreciated.... ~Dumped in Deutschland
Poutrew Posted December 17, 2018 Posted December 17, 2018 Actually, you shouldn't feel so bad over this. He showed you what kind of person he is early in your relationship, before you became even more invested in him. If this guy was the best date you have ever had, I'd say your picker needs readjusting. Take this time to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask yourself why you can't find a guy that is truly loving. They are out there, and I'd bet you are probably walking past one or more of them in a single day without even realizing it. Good luck, Madam Opera Singer 1
jess060191 Posted December 20, 2018 Posted December 20, 2018 Sorry to hear... Rejection hurts, you will be OK within time. Just realize that you are lucky that he pulled this stunt early in the relationship rather 2 years down the road. I know the length of a relationship doesn't really affect the feelings you might of had towards him but at least you won't be spending anymore of your time on him. YOU WILL BE OKAY!
BC1980 Posted December 20, 2018 Posted December 20, 2018 Maybe the likelihood that you will eventually move forced him to consider how serious he was about moving forward with the relationship. You only dated 2 months, so he probably just decided that he didn't want to fully commit for some reason. My guess would be the instability of your job.
Giraffe-A Posted December 20, 2018 Posted December 20, 2018 Don't feel bad. Relationships that start off quick and heavy soon crash. Everyone is a decent person during the initial stages of dating because we are making an impression- we secretly want something. 2 months is too soon to know someone and it too soon to talk about personal problems. 2 months is not even a decent period to label a relationship. I personally focus on a few things that most guys fail at, like children screaming in the restaurant. If any guy I dated rolled his eyes at it and made those comments they make, you are automatically friendzoned. Same if you are rude to people but ever so loving to me. These things take time to figure out. 2 months is enough to care about the mystery of the new person and try to bed them. Enjoy dating. Show them a great old time. And when life changes, you'll know if they want to follow that amazing prospect. Not that you are not, but stay guarded a bit longer at least for 6 months.
preraph Posted December 20, 2018 Posted December 20, 2018 Usually, relationships that heat up quickly, it's because both people are going into it kind of assuming they've found the ideal person that lives in their head and kind of project that onto them. And then they start getting to know them, they realize they're not that person. So if they're not the type of flexible mature person who can just get to know someone without them having to be a certain kind, they discard them, realizing that's not who they are looking for. They may never find who they are looking for.
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