11 years over - now strung along I think.

[SevenCity]

Relax. You will be fine.

 

<SNIP>

 

Dealer - Love that story! Glad everything worked out for you and not for your ex

 

Twizzlestick - Allow me to share my abridged story, and lessons learned, which is not as happy as as Dealer's but will allow you to realize you are not alone.

 

My ex and I dated for nearly 7 years. During that time I had built a closeness with her the likes of which I have never had with another woman in my life (I met her when I was about 38 at the time and divorced). There was never a doubt in my mind that I would spend the rest of my life with her; from our first date, never once.

 

Anyway, things were going along fine living together for 3 years (or so I thought) until one day she went back to her house (which she had done many times to visit family and check on things) and I asked her when she was coming back - she said "I'm not sure".

 

That spiraled into her not being sure about us. I freaked and told her if she's not sure that's my answer (I was at work on lunch when this happened and was livid). I calmed down the next day and left her a long voicemail which she never got. Finally she called me later in the week and I told her about the message. It was too late.

 

For three months I was on trial like you were. Things seemed to be going well. She would come over every other week, we would have sex the entire time, she would bring me food, send me cards in the mail, tell me how she loved me.

 

Not happy with the limbo status I forced the issue to which she responded she was not ready and it wasn't fair to either of us to continue. I was in shock.

 

I then got cold and told her to move her stuff out of the house. That day, she came by early and was all over me (to the point of oral sex). She held me in front of the mirror and gazed at us stating I was the best looking man she had ever met. She continued to state "Maybe we'll get back together again one day" about 15 times. It was confusing to say the least.

 

I helped her and her friend pack the truck for 10 hours. When it was finally done, she gazed at me on the walk way for about a minute then ran back to me to give me a long hug. I finally said "You better go". I never saw her again.

 

Because of all the "Maybe we'll get back together" I held on for years. I tried reaching out 3 times over the next two years and she would stop responding when I asked to get together. It was exactly one year ago that I reached out (at the advice of my female therapist) to restate my feelings and ask for a yes or a no in a long heart filled text. She never responded.

 

So, like you, I went from her best friend and love of her life to a bother who did not even warrant a response. During the time she left, I dated and slept with many women. I also read many books on relationships trying to fix what I may have done wrong (I had no clue).

 

Not a day has gone by where she does not come into my thoughts (almost 2.5 years later), but I learned a lot in that time. Primarily that a woman's love is fleeting and conditional and unlike a man's. Sure, I've heard stories from women who never stopped loving someone, but far more from men who had the exact situation as you and me. Regardless of love or not, it's human decency to not string someone along. I have never done that nor would I.

 

The good news is I finally learned to enjoy being on my own and, although I have had and am in a relationship, I know it can end at any moment and do not tie my happiness to it. Moreover, I learned that I am capable of getting women and have learned what makes women fall out of love.

 

This will be a tough road, but you will get through it. It is empowering to not allow any one thing dictate your happiness. For your next relationship, you will learn not to tie your identity to that person and find happiness within.

 

When you are ready, I recommend reading the following books/watching videos on YouTube;

- Corey Wayne's "How to be a 3% Man"

- Dr. Gary Chapman's "The five love languages"

- David Deida's "The way of the superior man"

- Rollo Tomassi's "The Rational Male"

- Mouth of Ape videos (YouTube)

 

You, like me, may find some behaviors that pushed her away. That is a tough pill to swallow but you need to correct it for the next woman. And if she was a good woman, she would have come to you before it was too late. She gave up on you.

 

In closing, don't even think about the impact of your actions on her. Become selfish, think only of yourself.

Edited January 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Twizzlestick]

Relax. You will be fine.

 

 

Do good. Be respectful. Don’t look back.

 

 

 

Thank you so much Dealer for sharing that. I found it uplifting to read. What a cracking story. If someone you love isn’t coming back then it’s nice to see regret in their eyes. We feel so unvalued after these things.

 

Cracking story, thanks for sharing it

[Twizzlestick]

.

 

Sevencity, like dealer thank you so much for sharing that story and taking the time to write down these things. I read both your posts and felt at least someone, somewhere has been through similar

 

(I know they have really but I dint personally know anyone. All my mates have only ever been dumped after reles of a year max type thing and seemed to bounce back)

 

Re identifying things I did to drive away. I think it’s too early for me yet. Im actually riddled with guilt at the whole thing anyway (unnecessarily but it’s automatic, can’t help it)

 

My relationship counselor says I’m shouldering all the blame when the reality is far from that truth. I’m actually quite self aware and honest so I don’t think I’ll have a prob with taking genuine self responsibility in the long run. In fact the biggest problem I have is not realizing the things my ex did that contributed to her feeling making herself feel this way. As the counselor said, essentially bringing her own relationship down too as people have their own part in their feelings changing.

 

It’s quite complex our dynamic. We never fought, cheated. Were real soulmates. Extremely close. But we started to slip into slight Co dependency a few years ago. From my side I’ve never been like this before, had a perfect upbringing. But I started seeing a counselor a year ago to get help re the relationship (other half didn’t want to go). I knew something wasn’t right I felt in the last few years like I loved her more than she loved me. I finally had clarity in unlocking the whole thing so feel pretty switched on the what’s happened.

 

It started when she was thrown out of her home by her emotionally abusive parents a few years ago. One day on my doorstep. I made every attempt to make her feel at home. Until that point we’d had a stunning relationship. But it was tough. She’d never lived away from home and I think a lot of inward anger turned towards me and manifested in a truly odd expectation of what living with your partner should be like. Her folks later admitted they chucked her out in an effort to get her to break up with me (they didn’t like her going out with me as she spent too much time away from home)

 

Needless to say it was a tense short period and coming home started to feel like going to work for me. I remember taking a deep breath climbing the steps to the house. For my part I tried my best but I was facing redundancy at work and I started to feel withdrawn. Between the stress at work, the tense atmosphere at home, I had no safe place anymore.

 

And then I was made redundant. My partner had always insisted she’d never leave where she lived. It had always been fine as my job was there and I loved where I lived, although not from that place myself. But it was very (as in non existent) limited in job opportunities for my profession.. I had discussed with her than such a total make or break condition on a relationship is a bit unusual and what if I were to loose my job etc? But she was steadfast

 

Well I did loose my job (I’m a pilot). It was a deep recession. The only work I could get was overseas. Most of my colleagues ended up moving away with their partners. My partner didn’t wish to leave for another country, I could understand that, I wouldn’t either. I found a job where I flew in the Middle East for weeks at a time and then came home for a couple of weeks. It was the only thing I could get and pretty temporary. But it was a horrible lifestyle.

 

This is right about where we started to slide into this Co-dependency thing. I remember one week she’d gone funny with me. Over nothing. Just in a bad vibe. It would happen quite a lot. Except this time I was staying in a deserted hotel for a week, alone in the mountains of north west Saudi. And she ghosted me. I couldn’t get hold of her for days. I never felt so close the the edge. It very nearly tipped me. Luckily a colleague turned up a day later, brought round some coffee to my room and I had company. I nearly hugged this big Dutch bloke when he turned up. I told him what deal I’d been in. Shamed to say was fighting some tears from the pain of it. Luckily he’d been there himself! IÂ’m always thankful for him turning up that day.

 

I bought this episode up when I got back home, but it fell on deaf ears. She did accept it was a bit off doing it. But it happen again. This would be a feature that repeated. It made me feel that if she were willing to do that then there must be no jeopardy from her point of view, no fear of losing me. I knew I wouldn’t dare do the same to her - couldn’t it would be unthinkable to cause such pain to her.

 

That whole period was extremely tough. But luckily the market picked up and I was offered a job with a nice company in the U.K. it would involve a move to the mainland. I was overjoyed though as felt after all the stress and pain it provided us with a future. I told her and she said she didn’t want to move to the mainland (believe it or not, she’s subsequently moving to the mainland herself for a job now she’s ended it with me) . I was pretty much told take that job and you’re doing it alone.

 

So. I turned them down. And regretted it. I was lucky to get another job with a decent company, albeit not my first choice, still based on the mainland but it was long haul. It meant it was “feasible” for me to commute to Ireland on my days off. She wanted me to do this so I could come back to Ireland. I agreed, as the alternative meant losing her.

 

I went through several months of intense training, moved back to Ireland and started “commuting” on the new job. It involved flying back from trips, flying to Ireland, having sometimes a couple of jet lagged days at home then off I went again. I was completely drained and burnt out after all the years. I felt like I’d been spinning plates.

 

What I noticed is we both lacked energy once I came back (the last couple of years). It seemed like I’d got the job, made it back, and she’d been waiting. But having got me back and asked me to take the job, keep us living where we were. She just didn’t seem to make the effort. It was the day to day. She moaned we didn’t go on holiday. But for me ( and we discussed this) it wasn’t holidays I wanted, I wanted us day to day to work. I wanted her! I wanted my relationship day to day to work. Instead she was always away with her Mum, sister, doing chores. Anything but wanting to spend time with us.

 

Subsequently she has admitted she was equally partisan in not putting in the effort the last few years.

 

The counselor explained that because my boundaries went way too far I’d essentially emotionally been burnt out by the time I came back. Makes sense, it’s how I felt. We didn’t start out like this. All it took, was me loving someone very deeply, them starting to shift from being balanced dependent to taking demands, a bit of fear of losing, add in fear or saying no (caused tantrums) and thatÂ’s how it happened.

 

In hindsight I should’ve defended some of the lines in the sand long ago. Even if that meant losing her then. Ultimately if someone has a taking, distorted view of love then that’s not right. But when you’re in it, you love that person and don’t see it sometimes and it’s easy to sacrifice yourself at the alter of a relationship that isn’t balanced. I realize now I sacrificed my boundaries. Literally, farmed myself out to someone else. And it’s nearly destroyed me in the process now she’s left. That’s why it feels like someone has taken your identity.

 

Horrid feeling. Thanks for sharing folks. A good read and food for thought..

Edited January 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix formatting.

[Twizzlestick]

I’ve hit a problem with no contact.

 

My ex has some large furniture at my flat, a sofa and cabinet (she doesn’t live here). She’s living with her folks. I had an idea that to avoid meeting her I’d contact her sister and arrange her uncle to shift it. He’s a nice chap and the furniture will be stored at his place anyway.

 

So I texted my ex’s sister with the plan. No reply. What I got back instead was a text from my ex saying “we're both strong enough to do this and don’t make it a whole big awkward thing by getting others involved, please let me know and we’ll load a van together”

 

Mmm. I’ve kind of been painted into the corner of making things awkward. A bit of a shock as I’m just in pain and there was no malice, it’s nothing to do with being awkward. The last thing I want to end is on bad terms.

 

It’s solely I can’t face being forced to meet her and help her pack up the remains of our life together by putting her furniture into a van. She said we’re both strong enough but I’m really not in the same place as her, I’m beside myself.

 

 

I’m not quite sure how to respond to it really. Any ideas?

Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
formatting issues

[SevenCity]

Glad it helped. Wow on that story about the job(s). In the (not so distant) future that will help your healing and make you stronger. If you learned, you will never let a woman dictate the terms of your life ever again and you’ll realize she was selfish and not supportive.

 

And, when you’re ready, you can start to evaluate where it went wrong. That may take the form of you allowing her to walk all over you (which causes women to lose respect and fall out of love) or for not recognizing things were going south and addressing them right there.

 

That last one is tough for guys. When we love, we don’t bail when things aren’t perfect because we are logical (it takes time to build a relationship) and have far fewer opportunities than a similarly attractive woman. Women, on the other hand, will much more easily give up when they don’t “feel” good. Their actions are dictated by their emotions. Once enough bad feelings pile up, they will bounce and we are left saying “it came out of no where!”. But basically, you are always on trial and the evidence is cumulative. That’s why they say I love you so much/make future plans one week, then dump you the next. Corey Wayne does a great job of explaining this dynamic.

 

As far as your current issue with the furniture, OF COURSE she feels fine! She ended it! And it just further shows how selfish she is. How can she not understand you are in pain? Because she is only thinking about herself which is what you need to do.

 

I would recommend you have a friend broker the transaction and don’t see her ever again for your own well being. If that’s not possible, move it out into the street and let her know when it will be there to be picked up. You owe her NOTHING and you owe yourself EVERYTHING.

 

Think only about you now. Don’t be worried what she’ll say or think. It doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t be worried about leaving on a bad note....remember, this is what she wanted, not you. This bad note is all her doing.

[BC1980]

I’ve hit a problem with no contact.

<snip>

I’m not quite sure how to respond to it really. Any ideas?

 

I think you could just be honest and say you aren't ready to see her right now and offer to set up a time in the next couple of weeks when you are away

for her to come get her stuff. That's about the best thing you can do if you don't want to see her. I don't blame you for not wanting to see her. Look, this stuff is always hard and weird. A year after my last breakup, my ex mailed a box of some stuff to my house out of the blue.

 

Endings are messy and usually not on good terms. I don't think there is any perfect way to go about this stuff, but, if you can't face her, the best thing is to have her come over while you are gone. Or maybe pay to get it delivered to her. Or have a friend with you when she comes over. Just try to get it done quickly, so you can move on.

Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Twizzlestick]

Sevencity

 

Thank you for your words! It was strange as quite early on sticking to my lines in the sand really would’ve meant breaking up (moving etc). I was always so perplexed how she was able to lose everything over rules, this was even during the “good days”. I think she always had one foot out the door with her family life. I kind of know that even if I’d stuck to some perfectly reasonable guns even early on it would’ve tanked. She tended to get very angry when you resisted and would result in being made to feel like a bad person for even challenging these ideas. I hope in hindsight some of this gives me more sense that it would’ve never worked with her. I think that’s what I need, as one tends to believe it was all “repairable” with choices that weren’t made.

 

what you say is something playing on my mind. She’s younger, I’m late 30s. She’s off to start a brand new job in a place (somewhere she never allowed us to move to together). Can’t helo feel she’s off rising high and going to be snapped up by some smiling new superman and I feel old and left behind. Horrid intrusive thought.

 

BC1980

 

Thanks for those suggestions. I have thought about whether I’m being stubborn refusing to meet but I think it’s because I can’t face a meeting/second goodbye with someone who I know is resolute. There’s so much of the last six months where I’ve kowtowed to her way when I shouldn’t have and this would just be another version.

 

 

I’m going to have a think on how to respond. Good suggestions.

[avriltreize]

I just joined this forum today. I just posted about my break up 4 days ago after a 12+yrs relationship.

 

I'm still a wreck and not trying to bring you down or anything but I know what you're going through.

[Twizzlestick]

I just joined this forum today. I just posted about my break up 4 days ago after a 12+yrs relationship.

 

I'm still a wreck and not trying to bring you down or anything but I know what you're going through.

 

Thank you Avril for your kind words. You’re not alone either. Mine is very recent too and if you’re like me sometimes you can’t even type on here you’re so overcome. I’ve replied to your thread btw

[Twizzlestick]

Ok, I had a think about it. The ex was painting me into a corner of causing awkwardness. Call me prideful but knowing I’ve behaved very well during all this I didn’t fancy allowing myself to be cast as such given this is the last thing I’m trying to be.

 

Text ping pong irritates me. So I took bull by horns and rang her to sort it. She started straight off on a high horse, imposing demands that “we’re both strong enough to make it through this, I’ll get a van, no need to use my reles bla bla”. I remained calm and explained she is failing to appreciate we’re not in the same position and it’s a case of myself managing what is good for me, seeing her to pack the remains of our life together would be extremely painful yada. Well, she seemed to cool to this a bit.

 

She did respond almost in pleadiness “you don’t want to see me?” I explained why. She seems mega keen to be involved and also meet. She’s also keen to keep in contact which again, I explained isn’t happening after this is sorted as we’re just dealing with returning items. Seems she can’t quite let go.

 

Anyway. Had a think and what I’m going to propose is I get a “man with a van”. He can turn up, put the stuff in his van, I give him th address and he deliver it. She can’t say it’s awkward. No one involved. She can’t say it’s hassle or over the top as she was going to rent a van anyway herself. I’ve used these guys before and it’s only about twenty quid for half an hours work. I dint mind paying as it sorts the problem out.

[SevenCity]

Great plan!

[BC1980]

<snip>

Text ping pong irritates me. So I took bull by horns and rang her to sort it. She started straight off on a high horse, imposing demands that “we’re both strong enough to make it through this, I’ll get a van, no need to use my reles bla bla”. I remained calm and explained she is failing to appreciate we’re not in the same position and it’s a case of myself managing what is good for me, seeing her to pack the remains of our life together would be extremely painful yada. Well, she seemed to cool to this a bit.

 

<snip>

 

That's a great plan. She wants to keep in touch to make her feel less guilty. It's not because she wants to get back together with you. Don't fall into that trap. No one wants to think that they hurt someone else. If you agree to be friends with her, she will feel that she didn't hurt you.

Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Acacia98]

She did respond almost in pleadiness “you don’t want to see me?” I explained why. She seems mega keen to be involved and also meet. She’s also keen to keep in contact which again, I explained isn’t happening after this is sorted as we’re just dealing with returning items. Seems she can’t quite let go.

 

Anyway. Had a think and what I’m going to propose is I get a “man with a van”. He can turn up, put the stuff in his van, I give him th address and he deliver it. She can’t say it’s awkward. No one involved. She can’t say it’s hassle or over the top as she was going to rent a van anyway herself. I’ve used these guys before and it’s only about twenty quid for half an hours work. I dint mind paying as it sorts the problem out.

 

My sympathies, Twizzlestick.

I think this is an excellent idea. Just go forward with it. Don't ask for her input.

 

I thought I'd weigh in with some thoughts about your ex.

 

It seems to me that she wants you to adore her and need her because it boosts her ego and makes her feel special. But she doesn't actually want to reciprocate. So of course she feels sad and disappointed that you want to go NC and don't want to talk to her anymore. She'll no longer get that boost that comes from being desirable to you even when she is contemptuous towards you.

 

Long story short, while she may have been a wonderful person to you in the past, that has changed: At this point in time, she doesn't care about you. She wants your conversations (when they do happen) to focus on the "good stuff": her, her, her. You, the person, are really not relevant to her.

 

You really should go full NC after sending her stuff to her: Block her everywhere. That's the only way you will be able to heal properly. This back and forth between the two of you is the equivalent of ripping the Elastoplast off a wound every day. It's just not good for you.

 

If she realizes at some point that she made a mistake and wants you back, she will make the physical effort to come look for you at your family's home if she actually wants you that much. (If, however, she doesn't know where your family lives, well, that's probably a sign that she was never as invested in the relationship as you were.)

[Twizzlestick]

<snip>

 

You really should go full NC after sending her stuff to her: Block her everywhere. That's the only way you will be able to heal properly. This back and forth between the two of you is the equivalent of ripping the Elastoplast off a wound every day. It's just not good for you.

 

If she realizes at some point that she made a mistake and wants you back, she will make the physical effort to come look for you at your family's home if she actually wants you that much. (If, however, she doesn't know where your family lives, well, that's probably a sign that she was never as invested in the relationship as you were.)

 

Thank you Acacia. Crikey you’re dead right, so much of what you say makes sense about things.

 

I laughed when you mentioned coming over to my family’s house by the slim chance she did regret flushing it down the toilet. I just couldn’t see her lifting a finger to fly over in that outside scenario. She’s one of those people that are into that “destiny” stuff you see. You know “what’s meant to be” (always struck me as similar to saying water is wet) and all that guff..

 

As much as it’s agony I can’t wait to get off the hook, at this moment in time. I know give it a week, my emotional monkey will rattle the cage and I’ll be wishing we still had a logistical reason to talk. But I’m not going to. Makes me feel like the stray dog at the doorstep having to arrange things with her. Annoying stuff I forgot like some things I genuinely need back. I’m packing up my flat on my own. Been doing it the last 3 days. Stabbing oneself with sharp glass would be less unpleasant than this.

 

After a day of it. Going for a drive now to clear my head and escape the boxes. Put some venting tunes on. Bit of smashing pumpkins soma max volume works a treat at the moment . Aren’t we humans funny? I’m sure the aliens look through their space binoculars and think we’re a right bunch of weirdos.

Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Acacia98]

Thank you Acacia.

 

You're welcome.

 

I laughed when you mentioned coming over to my family’s house by the slim chance she did regret flushing it down the toilet. I just couldn’t see her lifting a finger to fly over in that outside scenario. She’s one of those people that are into that “destiny” stuff you see. You know “what’s meant to be” (always struck me as similar to saying water is wet) and all that guff..

 

I know folks like that. It's rather convenient for them to believe that. It basically means everyone else does the heavy lifting to make the relationship (or whatever) happen. What you really deserve is a woman who loves you so much that she would make that effort if it came down to it. Because you would make the effort if it was up to you. It's very important to pair up with someone who gives as much as you give.

 

 

As much as it’s agony I can’t wait to get off the hook, at this moment in time. I know give it a week, my emotional monkey will rattle the cage and I’ll be wishing we still had a logistical reason to talk.

 

Sorry about that. It definitely gets better. That I promise you. Especially if you're kind to yourself and keep your distance from her. I'm dealing with the aftermath of a breakup right now, and I literally thought I was going crazy a couple of weeks ago. Now, I'm feeling much better. Just taking things one day at a time.

 

 

Going for a drive now to clear my head and escape the boxes. Put some venting tunes on. Bit of smashing pumpkins soma max volume works a treat at the moment . Aren’t we humans funny? I’m sure the aliens look through their space binoculars and think we’re a right bunch of weirdos.

 

Sounds good.

Haha. Yes, we are funny. The aliens must be amazed.

[Twizzlestick]

Mm. Minor detail alert! Well, to anyone else but God it stung.

 

The stuff hand off went well. Van man came. He returned with my bicycle. Also my spare car key which she kept safe. The car is quite an unusual sporty car and she loved going out in it so it became a bit of a hobby thing. We looked at it together etc. You know, more than just a bland object. Anyway...

 

Here’s the thing. The spare key she was looking after had a manufacturers fob. In addition to this I’d bought a newer fob for my own set. I gave her the old fob off mine, which although she didn’t have the same car liked having on her own keys and seemed to delight in having it dangling (I’m the polar opposite of this myself and dislike flashing things about too much).

 

When the spare set came back not only had she returned the spare key and it’s fob, she’d taken off the fob I gave her and put it on.

 

Man. Why do that? There’s no reason. It was hers. It’s was like a big “fxxxx you”. I know it seems small but I know it was done deliberately. No one not in this situation would bother doing it. I’ve already got two of them and her one was all worn. It was just a little way of sending a message.

 

Up until this point it’s been perfectly civil. I didn’t know she functioned like this until now. She must really feel the need to make me feel like I’m dog dirt

[BC1980]

I wouldn't read a lot into it. Remember, she felt slighted that you wouldn't load the van with her. Just do what you need to do to move on, and don't worry about her. People do all kinds of weird things during a breakup that don't really mean anything in the long run.

[Twizzlestick]

I wouldn't read a lot into it. Remember, she felt slighted that you wouldn't load the van with her. Just do what you need to do to move on, and don't worry about her. People do all kinds of weird things during a breakup that don't really mean anything in the long run.

 

Ey that’s true. Bit like the mind reads into things for hope, also reads into things to that seem hurtful. I gave myself a kick as my mind is all over the show. It’s been an emotional day. The flat is very sparse now.

[BC1980]

Ey that’s true. Bit like the mind reads into things for hope, also reads into things to that seem hurtful. I gave myself a kick as my mind is all over the show. It’s been an emotional day. The flat is very sparse now.

 

I understand. It's tempting to read into things. I'm sure she's emotional too. Even if you are the one doing the breaking up, it's still hard in different ways.

[Acacia98]

When the spare set came back not only had she returned the spare key and it’s fob, she’d taken off the fob I gave her and put it on.

 

Man. Why do that? There’s no reason. It was hers. It’s was like a big “fxxxx you”. I know it seems small but I know it was done deliberately. No one not in this situation would bother doing it. I’ve already got two of them and her one was all worn. It was just a little way of sending a message.(

 

You do realize she's also having to come to terms with the fact that you will no longer be a part of her life, right? If she held on to the fob, it would be a reminder of you every single day. I absolutely understand her needing to get rid of it (so that she can also move on emotionally). It's not really different from you having a third party move her stuff. Maybe she's sending you the message that she gets it. That she's accepting that things are completely finished between you two: no friendship, no nothing.

 

Don't take it personally. Just take it as an indication that adjusting to the new reality is not easy for both of you.

[Twizzlestick]

You do realize she's also having to come to terms with the fact that you will no longer be a part of her life, right? .

 

Yes of course I am quite aware of that, I’m not a wooden top. I have enough about me and self respect to know I have behaved very well during all this and she’s not exactly showered herself in glory so I’m not holding a pity party for her.lets just say she has “form” for trying to send little messages. Call it my annoyed phase.

 

Edit - My Apologies I sound quite grumpy in the above, but it wasn’t meant as such ha. I am acutely aware of her wanting to move on having shipped all her stuff back but she’s one min attempting to keep in contact (not having it) and then posting things on social media that are astonishingly insensitive (I checked in the first two weeks, don’t we all, but have since knocked that on the head )

Edited January 16, 2019 by Twizzlestick