Angelie Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 I have been living with my BF for 6 years now. We have talked about getting married but he always has a excuse. We went to look at rings & now he says he doesn't have money & he's worried about his job. Also, he doesn't know if or ever he wants to have kids. It seems like I have just been waiting for him to make up his mind about his life. Should I just wait for him to decide or should I just stop waiting?? Have I just wasted all this years for nothing? Thanks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 Have I just wasted all this years for nothing? If you don't get married, will those years really have been nothing to you? I don't know that I could marry someone who tells me that my primary worth to them is a legal contract and a ring, and that all the time we spent, and things we shared are nothing if it doesn't end up in marriage. Perhaps your b/f sees that the same way? If he gets the idea that he and your relationship don't mean as much to you as being married does, he probably isn't going to be too enthusiastic about it. You'll need to be upfront with him about this. It sounds like the two of you have different goals in life right now, and different long-term goals. Now is the time to sit down and compare notes, and see if there are any compromises to be made. If not, then it is certainly time to make a choice: adapt to the relationship you do have, or leave it.
Iluvsiamese Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 You don't indicate how old he is, but 6 years is a fairly long time to live together so I am assuming that you are not just out of your teens. At this point, if he doesn't know what he wants, there is something wrong. I think that he knows you won't be happy if he is completely honest and there goes his live-in help. What you need to decide is if you are willing to settle for this or if you want more. If you are happy and don't feel the need to marry and have kids, then things are cool, right? However, it doesn't sound like that. Think long and hard about this and be brutally honest with yourself. Six years wasted is bad, but another six will only make it 12 and so on. If you need more than what he is giving, move on. The only caution I can give you is to be wary if he suddenly decides that marriage and kids are the ticket. He may really have had a change of heart, but he may just be doing what he thinks will make you stay. If it's the latter, it will lead to resentment on both parts because the truth will out sooner or later. Good luck!
Author Angelie Posted September 14, 2005 Author Posted September 14, 2005 Just wanted to say Thank you for the advise. It's really nice to hear what other people think.
Recommended Posts