She texted me..

[boobooo]

I just don’t understand why she isn’t letting me move on ... if she doesn’t want me anymore then what does she want ? I just went back to day one guys . I feel sad again . I keep allowing her to drag me down because I love her and I’m too weak to save myself . I feel trapped because I don’t want to hurt her . Why does she always leave and come back . Why can’t she just leave alone for good .

[boobooo]

I know that deep down she still cares about me and I don’t know what to do .

[SunnyWeather]

people treat you the way you let them. stop being a push over. you deserve better.

 

yes, delete her number, and let her take her games to another fool.

[nolanola]

booboo, honey, I understand that it's tough to stand up for yourself when you haven't been doing it before. But you are deluding yourself...she is never going to stop doing this cycle with you as long as you are playing along. She has you wrapped around your finger and you jump whenever she texts you. No message to her is going to make her do anything different.

 

If you keep talking to her you will stay like this forever. Except she will probably be dating other guys on the side because she knows you'll always be her back-up. Is that what you want to be? A back up when she's tired of going out with other guys? Or she might meet someone she gets serious with and then she'll really ghost you. Is that what you want?

 

Does she care about you? Maybe, but she doesn't respect you.

[boobooo]

booboo, honey, I understand that it's tough to stand up for yourself when you haven't been doing it before. But you are deluding yourself...she is never going to stop doing this cycle with you as long as you are playing along. She has you wrapped around your finger and you jump whenever she texts you. No message to her is going to make her do anything different.

 

If you keep talking to her you will stay like this forever. Except she will probably be dating other guys on the side because she knows you'll always be her back-up. Is that what you want to be? A back up when she's tired of going out with other guys? Or she might meet someone she gets serious with and then she'll really ghost you. Is that what you want?

 

Does she care about you? Maybe, but she doesn't respect you.

 

 

Hey nolanola, I really appreciate your advice . I told her my last goodbye today . It hurts so bad but I know it’s something I should’ve done months ago , it’s for my own good and hers . I’m not the only one who needs to move on, so does she and god , I really love this woman, that’s why I decided to let her go for good this time . She didn’t even try to stop me so I don’t even know anymore if she does care about me or not . I really need to move on but I don’t know how to cope with this . I just wish her happiness .

[Twizzlestick]

I just don’t understand why she isn’t letting me move on ... if she doesn’t want me anymore then what does she want ? .

 

I’m in identical position on the face of it. 11 years down the tube. I’m 38, she’s 30.

 

Caught in limbo. All I’ve got to go on is a vague “Not saying it’s definite, need to think”

 

It’s been months. Hanging. Dangling. Reading into every little communication. Living in pergatory.I’ve asked her that exact same question you just asked above. Response? I can’t even remember it, gaslighting like you get, she gets annoyed that I need to “chill out” .

 

I rarely do ask and if I do it’s very gingerly. Been in limbo months. All she says is she doesn’t want to lose contact and see how “her feelings feel” (eh?). It’s changed, she’s shut down the amount we see each other, speak. I’ve basically been told the other night I’m a problem that can wait until after Christmas. After new year. After lunch. After the car goes into service. Well not those last two, but you get the picture.

 

It’s agony being treated so terribly. Feelings are one thing, but treating someone like this is not on. Even I know that. If the boot were on the other foot and I did this to her I know she’d hit the roof and tell me to go duck myself. That says a lot - I’m clearly willing to lower myself to take crap like that than she and she knows it.

 

I need to find where I’ve kept my balls. Maybe in a draw somewhere. They’re not where I need them that’s for sure.

[boobooo]

I’m in identical position on the face of it. 11 years down the tube. I’m 38, she’s 30.

 

Caught in limbo. All I’ve got to go on is a vague “Not saying it’s definite, need to think”

 

It’s been months. Hanging. Dangling. Reading into every little communication. Living in pergatory.I’ve asked her that exact same question you just asked above. Response? I can’t even remember it, gaslighting like you get, she gets annoyed that I need to “chill out” .

 

I rarely do ask and if I do it’s very gingerly. Been in limbo months. All she says is she doesn’t want to lose contact and see how “her feelings feel” (eh?). It’s changed, she’s shut down the amount we see each other, speak. I’ve basically been told the other night I’m a problem that can wait until after Christmas. After new year. After lunch. After the car goes into service. Well not those last two, but you get the picture.

 

It’s agony being treated so terribly. Feelings are one thing, but treating someone like this is not on. Even I know that. If the boot were on the other foot and I did this to her I know she’d hit the roof and tell me to go duck myself. That says a lot - I’m clearly willing to lower myself to take crap like that than she and she knows it.

 

I need to find where I’ve kept my balls. Maybe in a draw somewhere. They’re not where I need them that’s for sure.

 

 

Hey man , I’m sorry to hear that , but she really is treating you so terribly man . You shouldn’t allow it anymore . Get rid of her . I’m guessing it’s been a while since you broke up so she probably doesn’t have as much influence as she used to . My ex girlfriend abused me emotionally , just like how your ex is doing it to you right now , when we broke up . At some point I said enough is enough and I sent her this long goodbye message . But guess what ? She never fully gave me up , she kept contacting me whenever I’d stop giving her attention . Man I swear all these women want nothing but attention . We got to be strong and we got to stop giving them what they want . We are here , in pain while they are living their best life because they know they have us around . We need to prove them wrong by leaving without looking back . That’s what I’m gonna do starting day . I told her goodbye , now it’s time to move on . And I am not going to allow to come back like nothing happened . It was her decision to treat me like this and I already warned her that she would lose me if she kept treating me like this .

Wishing you all the best mate .

[Twizzlestick]

Hey man , I’m sorry to hear that , but she really is treating you so terribly man . You shouldn’t allow it anymore . Get rid of her . I’m guessing it’s been a while since you broke up so she probably doesn’t have as much influence as she used to . My ex girlfriend abused me emotionally , just like how your ex is doing it to you right now , when we broke up . At some point I said enough is enough and I sent her this long goodbye message . But guess what ? She never fully gave me up , she kept contacting me whenever I’d stop giving her attention . Man I swear all these women want nothing but attention . We got to be strong and we got to stop giving them what they want . We are here , in pain while they are living their best life because they know they have us around . We need to prove them wrong by leaving without looking back . That’s what I’m gonna do starting day . I told her goodbye , now it’s time to move on . And I am not going to allow to come back like nothing happened . It was her decision to treat me like this and I already warned her that she would lose me if she kept treating me like this .

Wishing you all the best mate .

 

Thank you so much mate. I found reading that gave me some inner strength to last the next few hours!

 

It had been a while for me. She ended it in June, I asked if we could downgrade it to a “break”. She was more keen after that then went back to what it is now. I’d like to say given it’s been months she does have less influence. But I’m sorry to say I’m as compliant as ever. I’m know I’m pretty reasonable as ex’s go. I don’t blow up her phone (irony is I went through a spell of ringing 4 times on one day and got told off for it ha). But I’m painting myself into low respect in her eyes.

 

What you say is right. Need to claim back self respect. I feel like I’m actually a one man detox clinic. I’m essentially helping her wean herself off me. She’s got all the tapering off, without the pain. She needs to go cold turkey. But I’m a realist and know that will extend to me too.

 

I’m at the stage where I need to work out how to call Time. Either via text or letter. Meeting face to face will be agony. I don’t cry around her or beg etc, but wouldn’t trust myself to not blub, crack under the pain or try and back track in my words. On the phone she just gets annoyed and controlling. She’d just force it out of me in an annoyed, impatient way like “just spit it out, what are you saying? Right, fine then..” So either text or letter likely

 

interesting you say after you cut loose she perused you. I’m dreading that happening and misreading it all for it to be nothing more than her just feeling guilt etc. I’d only want to hear if she had genuine intentions.

 

Stay strong my friend and best wishes with moving onwards.

[boobooo]

I already miss her so much guys ... how am I supposed to never speak to her again just the thought of it kills me . She didn’t even try to stop me from leaving . This sucks . I don’t know how to cope with this .

[boobooo]

It feels like I just lost her all over again

[Twizzlestick]

I already miss her so much guys ... how am I supposed to never speak to her again just the thought of it kills me . She didn’t even try to stop me from leaving . This sucks . I don’t know how to cope with this .

 

 

You’re not alone mate.

 

I’m imminently facing this too.

 

I’m absolutely terrified of the pain. I’ve not experienced it full bore yet apart from in the summer (it felt like getting shot) when she ended it prior to declaring it “a break” which falsely gave me hope. I had a bad break up 12 years ago with a short term 4 month thing and I took it really badly. I can’t handle emotional pain. This is years of deep love. I’m terrified as think it will destroy me.

 

Talk to yourself in the mirror and remind yourself The position you were in was leading you absolutely nowhere. Although it’s overwhelming you’ve done what actually is the right thing to do. The alternative would definitely lead you to the same point, but with your self worth even more shattered on the floor.

 

Factually speaking, it does get better, there’s no doubt. But enduring it is agony. There’s no denying. But you’re not alone.

[boobooo]

You’re not alone mate.

 

I’m imminently facing this too.

 

I’m absolutely terrified of the pain. I’ve not experienced it full bore yet apart from in the summer (it felt like getting shot) when she ended it prior to declaring it “a break” which falsely gave me hope. I had a bad break up 12 years ago with a short term 4 month thing and I took it really badly. I can’t handle emotional pain. This is years of deep love. I’m terrified as think it will destroy me.

 

Talk to yourself in the mirror and remind yourself The position you were in was leading you absolutely nowhere. Although it’s overwhelming you’ve done what actually is the right thing to do. The alternative would definitely lead you to the same point, but with your self worth even more shattered on the floor.

 

Factually speaking, it does get better, there’s no doubt. But enduring it is agony. There’s no denying. But you’re not alone.

 

Thank you , I really appreciate it . I just want this pain to be gone already but I know deep down that I’ll always love her . Even after everything she’s done to me . You know maybe we could use each other’s help by encouraging each other . You got any social media ?

[Marc878]

I know that deep down she still cares about me and I don’t know what to do .

 

Nope, just hopium on your part. You're in denial

[boobooo]

my heart is aching for her ... I can’t believe that I’ll never speak with her again

[an0nym0us123]

Mate, saw your posts before. And Im no one to preach. But do something other than sitting pining for this girl. Get on tinder if you are not already. At least talk to other girls. It will take your mind off it. You have a massive case of one-itis

[nolanola]

Unless you are a psychic you have no idea if you will ever speak with her again. Life is long. Lots of weird things happen. But I am begging you, do not contact her. Or speak to her. Or answer her texts.

 

If you have to come here every 5 minutes and post about her instead of texting, calling, talking, seeing, or answering her...then fine. You have an opportunity to regain some respect with this woman (and yourself), please take it.

[boobooo]

Unless you are a psychic you have no idea if you will ever speak with her again. Life is long. Lots of weird things happen. But I am begging you, do not contact her. Or speak to her. Or answer her texts.

 

If you have to come here every 5 minutes and post about her instead of texting, calling, talking, seeing, or answering her...then fine. You have an opportunity to regain some respect with this woman (and yourself), please take it.

 

Hey, thank you so much . You have no idea how much your words help me . I am not going to text her . She ignored my last text so why would I ? I’ve been trying to move on but whenever I make progress , she texts me out of the blue . I don’t know what she wants from me

[nolanola]

My guess on what she wants? To keep you on a chain.

 

That's harsh and blunt (and perhaps this is not conscious on her part) but she wants to make sure you're still around when she wants you to be. You have a choice whether you want to let her have this. If you want her back, your only option at this point is NC. It sounds nuts, but she is not going to want you back if she does not respect you. Real talk.

 

I'm glad my words help you. Believe me, I have been where you are. And sometimes I still have to concentrate on this type of thinking to help me stay NC and focus on myself and my health. Whatever you have to do to stay NC, do it. Whatever you have to tell yourself, do it. It gets better, I promise it does.

[boobooo]

I miss her so much and I feel like she is never gonna text me again after I sent her a goodbye message . To be honest , I’m still hanging on the hope that she’d text me again and I don’t know how to accept the fact that I might never speak to her again .