an0nym0us123 Posted December 13, 2018 Posted December 13, 2018 (edited) Ex gf left me 6 months ago for a friend of mine, she denied that was the reason but it was. Blamed it on problems with herself. Kept saying we'd get back together, basically strung the whole thing out. Kept me as back up. I found out she was with my friend and she claimed it was not a relationship. A few days ago she made the official facebook relationship thingy. I hadnt talked to her in months. I sent her a message, asking why didnt you just tell me you liked him, why and the dancing around for 3 months? She denied once more that he was the reason we broke up but it was. I then told her that when i pass on be it tomorrow or when im a 100. I dont want you coming to any funeral or any of my families. Got a sharp reply and got blocked. Not that i care. A sad end though for the girl who wanted to marry me. Ha The end Edited December 13, 2018 by an0nym0us123 1
PegNosePete Posted December 13, 2018 Posted December 13, 2018 Why are you making threads about it if you don't care?
Purepony Posted December 13, 2018 Posted December 13, 2018 I think he just wants to discuss his day or vent. If this happened to me I’d probably vent about it too I wouldn’t want a girl like that. Best revenge is to live well and move on
uniplex Posted December 13, 2018 Posted December 13, 2018 You are handling this well because I would be LIVID.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted December 13, 2018 Author Posted December 13, 2018 Just venting, no point being livid now, past that stage a while ago. I woke up and the thought that if something happened to me and her being there pretending to care made me feel sick. So i told her not to come. Strange request i know. Got mad and blocked me. I guess i still have some affect on her. If she had been honest and told me why she left me id have thought more of her. I was vulnerable and she played games. My own fault i guess. She fell for me when she was with someone else. I suppose i was stupid enough to think i was special enough that she would not do the same to me.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 13, 2018 Posted December 13, 2018 This is the same young girl who wanted to keep your relationship a secret from her ex, right? The one who was planning out her life and wedding with you when you two had barely even passed the honeymoon phase? According to your past threads, she engaged in a lot of immature behaviour. Red-flag behavior. Her current behaviour should therefore some as no surprise. She doesn't care about you, and you're right, it hurts. But this is a person not known for transparency or a strong moral compass. You have to stop expecting that she is now going to have an epiphany and admit to her shady behaviour. I think in some ways you needed to really see she is with someone else, so you can accept that she's not coming back and fully let go. No more social media connection. No more anything with her.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted December 15, 2018 Author Posted December 15, 2018 The keeping it a secret was not a red flag, i wanted that as much as her for several reason. One of which her ex was a bit of a head case and i wanted no trouble. The red flag was she fell for me while with him. But i had just been dumped so took the chance. Talking about a future together in the first year, was that a red flag? Maybe maybe not. You talk as if we had some awful relationship but apart from one wobble we were 2 peas in a pod. No she doesnt care, and neither do i tbh. I dont hurt. I dont want her back. I know her better than anyone, her new guy has no idea, but let him find out the hard way. All the break up threads on here people pop up and say, just move on and find someone who wont cheat, wont leave you for someone else. Just go out and find an honest woman, theres plenty about. Okay where? Please tell me where all these honest people are that wont leave you or cheat on you or use you.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 15, 2018 Posted December 15, 2018 (edited) All the break up threads on here people pop up and say, just move on and find someone who wont cheat, wont leave you for someone else. Just go out and find an honest woman, theres plenty about. Okay where? Please tell me where all these honest people are that wont leave you or cheat on you or use you. The honest women who will not cheat or use you are not the type who start getting close to other guys while they have boyfriends, OP. You were fishing from the wrong pond, there. I am not sure why you expected her to be a great candidate for a girlfriend if she started getting cozy with you when she was in a relationship with someone else. You need to learn to walk away from trouble when you see it. You can find plenty of honest women but you need to fix your picker first. You are looking in the wrong places. You will start to have better results when you throw back the duds, even if it means staying single for a while. I didn't say it was an awful relationship, but it does appear you're idealizing her because you're feeling defensive now. You say you aren't hurt, but your response to learning she is in a new relationship indicates otherwise. Obviously you are hurt. And that's okay. But you need to get honest with yourself before any true healing can happen. Edited December 15, 2018 by ExpatInItaly
Author an0nym0us123 Posted December 15, 2018 Author Posted December 15, 2018 I completely agree that it was a massive warning that she chased me while having a boy friend. I was with another girl at the time and if she hadnt left me my last ex would not have got me but she dumped me and tbh i thought a couple of months and that would be that. But it got a lot more serious. Ive known for a while that she was in a new relationship but she was trying to hide it from me probably to preserve a route back to me. In her mind. I guess asking her to stay away when i die or when members of my family die is a bit odd but i really would not want her there pretending to care. Thats no because she left me or even left me for a friend but because she played me for 2 months and gas lighted me. I said when i die. Do not come to my funeral or my families. Thats all i ask. And then she blocked me
PRW Posted December 15, 2018 Posted December 15, 2018 Just venting, no point being livid now, past that stage a while ago. It is always better to not burn bridges. You should have just excepted it was what it was and not try to make her "admit it". It doesn't work that way with women, they just aren't going to be direct. In their minds they are thinking "Why doesn't he just take the hint and go away?" Women put a lot of effort into avoiding conflict and a lot of effort into their attempts to not "hurt someone's feelings". Sometimes it is misguided and sometimes not, but you just have accept it for what it is. Being vengeful isn't doing anything positive for anyone involved.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 16, 2018 Posted December 16, 2018 I guess asking her to stay away when i die or when members of my family die is a bit odd but i really would not want her there pretending to care. Thats no because she left me or even left me for a friend but because she played me for 2 months and gas lighted me. I said when i die. Do not come to my funeral or my families. Thats all i ask I highly doubt she was planning on it, OP. This has probably never even crossed her mind.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted December 16, 2018 Author Posted December 16, 2018 Maybe maybe not, but we live in a tiny community only a mile apart, my family members are friends with her family members. We see each other all the time. Its not like we live in a big city. Its more than likely we will be seeing each other for the rest of our lives
HumanMachine Posted December 16, 2018 Posted December 16, 2018 You obviously do care, which is not an issue, don’t fool yourself.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted December 16, 2018 Author Posted December 16, 2018 I dont care that im blocked. I do care that she played me a long as back up while starting a new relationship with someone else. That bothers me. Anyway enough on this now it is confined to the history books
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