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Moving in with SO. What was the biggest Adjustment?


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Posted

So my SO and I are talking about moving in. What was the biggest challenge or adjustment when you got married or moved in with your SO?

Posted

I'm confused, didn't you mention in your last thread that you live together and share expenses?

 

 

Anyway, the biggest challenge for us was division of housework (or more specifically, different standards of cleanliness). But easily solved by a bit of extra income for a cleaner and other conveniences.

 

 

I think that all of this depends so much on the individuals that it'll be impossible to guess how moving in together will affect you until you actually, well, move in together. FTR, that's a big part of the reason why I'm a huge supporter of living together before you get married. You learn a LOT about the person when you do, possibly more than any other event in your relationship could ever tell you.

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Posted

Just for clarification, we are engaged but not living together yet nor sharing expenses

Posted

Doesn't matter how much you are prepared, the adjustment is challenging. Playing house and actually living together are way different for sure. Working around one's habits, and making adjustments to suit expectations was the worst of it IMO.

Posted

I have never lived with anyone. I don't believe in it because it never works out when two people live together. Why? They have done studies on it, we're not sure why, but for some reason the sense of commitment doesn't stick with people. People move in together because of financial reasons rather than. Wanting to live together as well. Never a once did I hear two people say "we are in love" when they move in together, they always give a financial reason why they are living together. The hardest actual adjustment to living together? All the little things. Relationships are based on tolerance. We are being taught intolerance- it's all about me, it's not perfect so I will change it, I'm better than everyone else, etc.

Posted

Ya but they are engaged and planning to get married so that's a little different. They are going to be living together anyways.

Posted

The other person was always THERE. There is no escape. It's hard to find time to be all alone (which is something I need).

 

It's not that I didn't love the men I have lived with, including DH, but somedays I just wanted the house to myself for a few hours.

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