Does it EVER END?!?!??!

[cherrie498]

I was here last year when I hit my wits end w/my MM. We have had a relationship for almost 3 years now, I walked into it knowing that he was married. But like many of you in here it started as friends, innocent I try to claim. We developed such a deep relationship, "soul mates" is the phrase he bounded into my head, because who can try away from something like that.

Well I waited & waited for him to leave & oh he did more than a hand full of times, for a couple of weeks, months, NEVER for good. He would move out & the chaos would begin& of course when the roads got tough he ran home. I couldn’t get out, I just couldn’t let go. I could see the truth, I knew better but my heart just couldn’t let go.....so I packed up a Uhaul, myself & EVERYTHING I have & moved 14 hrs away. CRAZY! Thinking out of sight out of mind....right. WRONG! So now what do I do? He knows I am gone because he drove past my house & has asked but I have not told him, he begs for me to come home & tells me how then he will leave-I am not falling for that. My problem is how do I get over it. I have gone the distance...but the love & heart ache is still there.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[whichwayisup]

You've done the right thing. As much as this has hurt you - Staying with him and riding the rollercoaster hurts you more.

 

Day by day is how you handle it. Just like a death as that is what it probably feels like.

 

Keep busy and enjoy life as it happens. Have fun with your friends and any time you feel the MM pop into your head - STOP and distract yourself. The less time you spend thinking of him, the more your mind will be trained NOT to think about him. Eventually you'll care less and worry less.

 

Don't try to get serious with anybody else right now as you're not in the frame of mind to get serious, but going out on afew fun dates might do you some good. Atleast you'll feel better about you, cuz right now it is about you and your wellbeing.

 

Don't take calls from him and block his email address. Any contact right now will make you hurt more and build up emotions again.

 

You're right, he's gone back and forth and probably will continue to do so, as he's gotten used to having you both in his life, now without you he seems lost. Having "just" you or having "just" his wife isn't enough. He needs both of you to make himself feel complete.

 

Anyway, keep posting and try to stay positive about it. Meaning, this is the healthiest thing for you. If you need therapy to help you cope, do it. Don't feel embarressed or ashamed about that.

[Dean3922]

You HAVE to go through the heart ache to get him out of your mind. There is no easy solution. You must think with your head at this point and not listen to your heart. It will take time but you will get over him. Just keep listening to your head.

 

Good Luck.