Out of curiosity, how do you feel about stripclubs?

[Veronica73]

I met a woman who works at one of the nicer clubs in the area. She’s not even a dancer/stripper. She chats up the guys and then takes them in back to service them. She was hired by the club to do this. She’s been doing it for years.

[Unhappy_Nerd]

And in the lower end ones.

 

There are probably some decent, honest, and classy joints but imho they are the minority.

 

My first response that came to mind in response to opinion about strip clubs: Every society has its dregs.

 

Wow, judgmental much? I'm friends with a few girls that work in strip clubs. A couple are bartenders, the others are dancers. They're just doing what they can to get by in life. Good people, mostly from poor backgrounds, and taking advantage of the assets they have. And yes, it's cliche, but most of the ones I know are trying to pay for school.

[Happy Lemming]

My husband has been to strip clubs a handful of times since we have been together - either with a group when attending conventions, trips with the guys

 

Same here... I can count the number of times I've been to a strip club on one hand. It's just not my thing. I've gone with a group of guy friends for a couple of bachelor parties; that's about it.

 

Similar to "pregraph", I consider it a HUGE waste of money.

 

To each his own, its just not for me.

[preraph]

^ Well, they're going to age out in another 5 years, so they may as well figure out a better way to make living now.

[Veronica73]

Also, I kind of don’t get going to a place and looking at a bunch of almost naked women who, supposedly, won’t have sex with you. The guys I’ve been with seem to get turned on and excited by the littlest thing. Why go somewhere with almost naked women dancing like that if nothing is going to happen? Seems like it would be frustrating.

[preraph]

Well, it's a big wankfest in the men's room, plus paid sex in the backrooms or depending where they are, out of the club afterward. Or they go home loaded for bear to their wives, holding that image in their head.

[Veronica73]

*shrug* Glad the guys I’ve been with haven’t been into it so it hasn’t been an issue.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

That would bother me. Seems a tad bit suspicious as I have never been to a work holiday party that ended in going somewhere like a strip club. I'd feel jilted that I was excluded when many times you can invite partners over for a holiday party. I wouldn't want my man going to a strip club under any circumstance.

[snowboy91]

I have no problem with them really, and neither have any of my partners as long as it wasn't a habit. I've never been to one, but my ex went a couple of times and had male strippers at a couple of hens' nights she organised. From what I've heard it's all in good fun and is really entertaining.

 

Even if I was single I couldn't see myself going to one. Too expensive - there are cheaper ways to get action

[chillii]

Yeah , the women are as bad as the men anyway.

 

But nope , they don't interest me.

[rightondude]

huge waste of money on both dances and drinks, sleazy clientele and nothing sexy about it, but yeah, besides that, strip clubs are great!

[darkmoon]

mostly single moms with short spare time

 

 

imagine any one of them comforting a teething crying toddler, or arguing with the baby's father over money, or just cooking alone, not so glam then...

[thefooloftheyear]

Also, I kind of don’t get going to a place and looking at a bunch of almost naked women who, supposedly, won’t have sex with you. The guys I’ve been with seem to get turned on and excited by the littlest thing. Why go somewhere with almost naked women dancing like that if nothing is going to happen? Seems like it would be frustrating.

 

The same reason a guy would go to a car show and look and admire a bunch of exotic cars, even though he couldn't afford them, or for whatever reason it wouldn't be practical to own one....But no one would ever criticize that, right?

 

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

As for my personal opinion about it?

 

I would never go to one on my own, if a bunch of guys wanted to hang out and enjoy a few drinks where the women are only part of the scenery, then I think that's ok...The whole game of coming around to guys and hoping they throw a few dollars at them seems so degrading, I feel sorry for these women...Its also irritating in a sense, if you are there just wanting to enjoy the atmosphere or catch a sporting event..

 

Ironically, I worked as a doorman/bouncer at a strip club years ago...You get to see the other side of it...Yes, the "regulars" are pretty pathetic for the most part...The other thing of note, was that when the club did private bachelor/bachelorette parties in the separate room, the women were FAR more raunchy than the guys...

 

Most women aren't cool with guys going to these places...for the same reason they don't like porn...I think it has less to do with a trust issue or that anything illicit may happen, just that they get insecure if guys are staring ,admiring, fantasizing about women that have looks/body that they cant attain or measure up to..

 

TFY

Edited December 12, 2018 by thefooloftheyear

[Mrs._December]

The guy I’m seeing had his work Christmas party last week. He thought partners weren’t coming so he didn’t invite me.

LOL. Someone's pants are on fire. Unless the guy sews his mouth shut at work and never talks to anyone day after day after day, he knew what the deal was with this party.

 

He even told me : « It would have been nice if you were there, you would have laughed so hard ».

Nicely played. Almost makes his story sound legit.

 

Almost.

 

I've dated guys who went to strip clubs and others who said they couldn't be bothered. It didn't really bother me either way. One guy called the strippers "Hoovers" - he said it was because they try to suck up every dollar you have.

[smackie9]

I'm pretty open about it. I never had any problem with my husband going. We used to go together with friends when we were first dating, sometimes hitting the sex shops afterwards for a laugh being just totally tanked. I worked at a club where there were male strippers (ladies nights) and this being Canada you got to see their d&*#. I worked there for over 4 years so I've probably seem more naked men than he seen naked women lol

[SophieG]

LOL. Someone's pants are on fire. Unless the guy sews his mouth shut at work and never talks to anyone day after day after day, he knew what the deal was with this party.

 

Nicely played. Almost makes his story sound legit.

 

Almost.

 

I've dated guys who went to strip clubs and others who said they couldn't be bothered. It didn't really bother me either way. One guy called the strippers "Hoovers" - he said it was because they try to suck up every dollar you have.

 

Thank you for your post!

 

My question was mostly about people’s opinion about their partner going there with friends, and not about my situation particularly.

 

I trust him, and I don’t believe he lied, contrary to what many of you think. I’ve been in situations where it was unclear if the partners where invited, or where we decided it would be a girls night, then some of them bring their boyfriend anyway. I didn’t invite him to my work Christmas party, and he doesn’t care... I wouldn’t either! I don’t feel the need to bring him along to every event I’m going to, and he shouldn’t either.

And IF something happened over there, that’s life... it will probably come up at some point, and then, it will be over! He could be cheating as we speak, without being at a stripclub, and I wouldn’t know about it. He could go at a bar with his friends, gorgeous girls around him, pick one up and go home... and again, I wouldn’t know about it. I personally don’t see that going to stripclubs increases the possibility of cheating... if a guy wants to cheat, he’ll do it whether he’s at a bar, home alone, at a stripclub, or else. But again, that’s my personal point of view.

[SophieG]

I'm pretty open about it. I never had any problem with my husband going. We used to go together with friends when we were first dating, sometimes hitting the sex shops afterwards for a laugh being just totally tanked. I worked at a club where there were male strippers (ladies nights) and this being Canada you got to see their d&*#. I worked there for over 4 years so I've probably seem more naked men than he seen naked women lol

 

I live in Canada too... Montreal to be exact, and I’ve been to mal stripclub, had a guy dance for me (but it’s not in a closed room, they dance at your table, in the open space). The stripclub he went to, the girls were only topless... to me, not worst than a girl flashing someone in a bar ahah! But as I said, that’s my opinion, I can understand people not comfortable with it... I’m just not one of them.

[elaine567]

And IF something happened over there, that’s life... it will probably come up at some point, and then, it will be over! He could be cheating as we speak, without being at a stripclub, and I wouldn’t know about it. He could go at a bar with his friends, gorgeous girls around him, pick one up and go home... and again, I wouldn’t know about it. I personally don’t see that going to stripclubs increases the possibility of cheating... if a guy wants to cheat, he’ll do it whether he’s at a bar, home alone, at a stripclub, or else. But again, that’s my personal point of view.

 

 

The difference being that cheating may not be easy for some guys. They may not have the skills or the looks to just pick up random girls at a bar or club or off the street, girls may not want to be picked up for sex by some random guy either, but sex workers as long as they get paid will "service" anyone.

 

They are a "sure thing".

[SophieG]

The difference being that cheating may not be easy for some guys. They may not have the skills or the looks to just pick up random girls at a bar or club or off the street, girls may not want to be picked up for sex by some random guy either, but sex workers as long as they get paid will "service" anyone.

 

They are a "sure thing".

 

I get your point. But a lot of men, or more specifically, those I know, will never pay for sex. If I wanted to cheat on someone, it would certainly NOT be with a stripper. That’s why, I don’t see it as a « threat ». The guy could have dating apps still open and I wouldn’t know... and I know that with those, you can sometimes find sex faster than you’ll get a pizza delivered.

[Els]

Not everybody went! The majority went home after the restaurant, but him and his close coworkers/friends decided to continue the party, so they went to a var and then the local stripclub. So you might see it as, it started as a Xmas party that ended up as a guy’s night out. The same thing often happens with my friends/coworkers... we start the evening with everyone, then we go somewhere else to continue our night.

 

 

Fair enough, I guess. I dunno, maybe I'm a fuddy duddy, but doesn't it feel kinda WEIRD sitting around in a boner fest with your co-workers??? Like I said, I could understand a frat party - but it just feels a bit odd to me to be watching Jim get a tent in his pants with a half-naked girl rubbing all over him, and then seeing him for a performance report the next day.

 

 

That being said, I heard in Finland(?) it's common to have hot tubs with your co-workers where everyone is naked, so.... eh, each to their own, huh?

 

 

I have no problem with them really, and neither have any of my partners as long as it wasn't a habit. I've never been to one, but my ex went a couple of times and had male strippers at a couple of hens' nights she organised. From what I've heard it's all in good fun and is really entertaining.

 

 

Yeah, some of the girls here get them in for hens' parties. I don't understand the rationale of that either, just as how I don't understand the rationale of having them around for bachelors' parties. It seems really strange to me to be celebrating your engagement by looking at someone else's dick/boobs, lol.

[carhill]

Out of curiosity, how do you feel about stripclubs?

 

Never been to one, will die without the experience.

 

Sounds like you have it handled pretty well, OP. I did similar when exW was going to Thunder Downunder in Vegas with a girlfriend who worked logistics for the tour in town. Perhaps not a strip club but pretty suggestive, and attractive, male dancers, no doubt some straight/hetero. Entertainment.

[Artdeco]

Depends. I’m not too worried about it in general. If he went with a group, and it was a spontaneous decision after a few drinks, then that would be fine with me, even though I will never understand the strip club “concept” per se.

If he told me right after, without being prompted, I’d not be suspicious. I’d only have a problem if my guy tried to keep it a secret, or if he went frequently, obviously. There are many guys (single and in Rs equally) who go to those places frequently, either bc they’re hoping for something more, or bc they’ve developed some kind of an addiction. And that’s problematic. And obviously, most if not all of the stripper joints (not sure about CA, but def in the US) “offer” some extras behind closed doors, and while I’m all for honest prostitution (which isn’t legal in most US states), I have a problem with illegal prostitution, for many reasons. Lack of mandatory STD testing, tax evasion, etc. just being two of them.

 

As I understand it, many guys go after they’ve had a few drinks too many. Many go out of curiosity. A few go out of habit, or they have a crush on a dancer, or they’re lonely, or they want sex, plain and simple, and these are the pathetic guys who get taken advantage of, and they spend way too much money in those clubs, which is problematic.

[SophieG]

Depends. I’m not too worried about it in general. If he went with a group, and it was a spontaneous decision after a few drinks, then that would be fine with me, even though I will never understand the strip club “concept” per se.

If he told me right after, without being prompted, I’d not be suspicious. I’d only have a problem if my guy tried to keep it a secret, or if he went frequently, obviously. There are many guys (single and in Rs equally) who go to those places frequently, either bc they’re hoping for something more, or bc they’ve developed some kind of an addiction. And that’s problematic. And obviously, most if not all of the stripper joints (not sure about CA, but def in the US) “offer” some extras behind closed doors, and while I’m all for honest prostitution (which isn’t legal in most US states), I have a problem with illegal prostitution, for many reasons. Lack of mandatory STD testing, tax evasion, etc. just being two of them.

 

As I understand it, many guys go after they’ve had a few drinks too many. Many go out of curiosity. A few go out of habit, or they have a crush on a dancer, or they’re lonely, or they want sex, plain and simple, and these are the pathetic guys who get taken advantage of, and they spend way too much money in those clubs, which is problematic.

 

I totally get what you're saying! As I mentioned, it is not a usual thing, far from it. And I agree that men who go there on a regular basis, alone, and in the hopes of having some actions with one of the girls, is kinda sad.

I went to stripclubs (male and female) a few times and here in Montreal, you are not aloud to touch dancers. So I don't know about offering some extras behind closed doors. With male dancers, you can't get alone with one, when they're giving you a lap dance, it's at your table, in front of everyone. For females, you can't get a dance alone, but you keep your hands to yourself and everything. Of course there must be exceptions and some woman might offer extras, but it's not the majority.

[Artdeco]

I totally get what you're saying! As I mentioned, it is not a usual thing, far from it. And I agree that men who go there on a regular basis, alone, and in the hopes of having some actions with one of the girls, is kinda sad.

I went to stripclubs (male and female) a few times and here in Montreal, you are not aloud to touch dancers. So I don't know about offering some extras behind closed doors. With male dancers, you can't get alone with one, when they're giving you a lap dance, it's at your table, in front of everyone. For females, you can't get a dance alone, but you keep your hands to yourself and everything. Of course there must be exceptions and some woman might offer extras, but it's not the majority.

 

Well, these are the official rules, but men can pay for a private dance in the VIP aka champagne room - Which is more expensive and “private”, and you never know what’s going to happen there......always depends on how much money you’re willing to spend as a customer, and how many extras the girl is willing to offer in return for the cash ...... They do deals behind closed doors and it’s far from legal, and nobody really cares about the official rules if the money is right ..... I’m sure it’s not much different in Canada. The whole environment is just perfectly set up to make a deal like that. That’s why many many (not all) guys go there in the first place.