SophieG Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 The guy I’m seeing had his work Christmas party last week. He thought partners weren’t coming so he didn’t invite me. Turns out, some of his coworkers came with their girlfriends, and others came alone. They went to a restaurant, then a bar. A few of them finished the evening at a local stripclub. He told me all about it the day after, and I just laughed because of the stories he told me. He asked if I was pissed he went there, but I answered I wasn’t (which Was true). A lot of my friends were like : OMG! That wouldn’t flight with me!! They would have been really pissed if their boyfriend went there. So here’s my question: what is your opinion about it?! Personally, I could care less. It’s not like he’s having sex with them or anything, he just went out with his friends. He even told me : « It would have been nice if you were there, you would have laughed so hard ». I’m not really the jealous type, but even then, I don’t see the harm in a bunch of guys going there.
Cersei Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 I feel the same as you. Your friends are being silly. However the single creeps that go week after week hoping to bring home the strippers I have little use for. 2
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Stripclubs are a useless waste of money. An occasional trip to one is no big deal. If a guy hangs out at one as his favorite bar that wouldn't fly with me. Here I wouldn't give a flying fig about the strip club. I would be annoyed that my guy was clueless about the work protocol for the holiday event -- with dates or without. How come he didn't know that until he arrived at the event? I would never believe that my guy was so dumb as to literally not get the memo so I would assume he's keeping me away from work & that would piss me off royally. 2
Author SophieG Posted December 11, 2018 Author Posted December 11, 2018 I feel the same as you. Your friends are being silly. However the single creeps that go week after week hoping to bring home the strippers I have little use for. Obviously, if he went over there every single week, I would ask questions. But in the 5 months I’ve been seeing him, it’s a first... and it wasn’t planned, the evening just escalated and they all went there (some coworkers were there with their girlfriend). 1
BaileyB Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Obviously, if he went over there every single week, I would ask questions. But in the 5 months I’ve been seeing him, it’s a first... and it wasn’t planned, the evening just escalated and they all went there (some coworkers were there with their girlfriend). I would have no problem with it, as long as it wasn't a regular thing and as long as nothing "more" happened - no private lap dances or happy endings... I've been to bars with strippers, it's kind of sad and sleezy. Perhaps another club would be different, but I wasn't impressed at all. 1
Author SophieG Posted December 11, 2018 Author Posted December 11, 2018 Here I wouldn't give a flying fig about the strip club. I would be annoyed that my guy was clueless about the work protocol for the holiday event -- with dates or without. How come he didn't know that until he arrived at the event? I would never believe that my guy was so dumb as to literally not get the memo so I would assume he's keeping me away from work & that would piss me off royally. He knew partners were invited, but his little group of coworkers agreed to come alone, to have a boys night! Obviously, some of them didn’t respect that. And even if they agreed to bring partners, I’m not offend at all. I’m perfectly okay with him wanting to go alone, I don’t see it as him keeping me away from work, but more like he’d want to enjoy his time with his coworkers without having to « take care of me » or entertain me, since I don’t really know them. I’ve never invited a boyfriend to a work Christmas party, so to me, it’s not that big of a deal.
stillafool Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 I have no problem with them either as long as it isn't a habit. I don't understand women hanging out at strip clubs to look at women unless they are gay. I would rather look at half naked men as a woman.
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 OK. If he made a "side deal" with his group for this to be a boys' night, I could deal with that. From your 1st post I thought you had simply been excluded & that bothered me. The strip club . . . pppfffttttt. No big deal at all although a really strange choice to go with co-workers.
DKT3 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 My wife always preferred I hang out with my boys at strip clubs as opposed to regular clubs or bars. Her reasoning? Because its unlikely stripper will have sex without a cash exchange, and she knew I would never pay. Point being, it depends on your guy and what you know about him. If he is shady and gives cause then maybe its problematic.
elaine567 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 It’s not like he’s having sex with them or anything, You don't actually know what went on, that is the problem with strip clubs, some of the strippers are just strippers, some make their money by offering "other services". I guess he left you at home for a reason... 1
Author SophieG Posted December 11, 2018 Author Posted December 11, 2018 You don't actually know what went on, that is the problem with strip clubs, some of the strippers are just strippers, some make their money by offering "other services". I guess he left you at home for a reason... Well I respect you way of seeing things, but it’s not how I see it. I’m not with him 24/7, and I see him about 4 times a week, so I could argue that I don’t actually know what goes on during his days... doesn’t mean I can’t trust him and I have to think he’s sleeping around. The stripclub wasn’t planned at all... at the beginning, he thought he’d go to the restaurant, have a drink or two then go home... they stayed out later and had fun. I’m actually happy he did since he doesn’t go out often. Like I said, personally I could care less that he went with his friends, I just wanted to know others opinions about it. He didn’t hide this or anything, it’s basically the first thing he told me. I went to male stripclubs with girls in the past and I never slept with anyone, it was simply a night out with friends for fun and laughs. 2
kendahke Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 They're a great place with a touring rock band--lots of fun! Did that once and once was enough for my lifetime. They don't bother me.
alphamale Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 a lot of drugs and prostitution go on in some higher end strip clubs. so there is some cause for concern 1
Veronica73 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Personally, I’d be upset. And frankly, I don’t think a single guy I’ve ever seriously dated would have been happy if the situation was reversed.
Orokotikki Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 a lot of drugs and prostitution go on in some higher end strip clubs. so there is some cause for concern And in the lower end ones. There are probably some decent, honest, and classy joints but imho they are the minority. My first response that came to mind in response to opinion about strip clubs: Every society has its dregs.
Orokotikki Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 That being said, I never thought much about it in regards to friends who went like once a year or for bachelor parties, but not my thing. I did have one friend who went several times in year for a while and thought it was pretty sad. 1
Els Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 I'm fine with stripclubs.... for single people, and for couples. But I wouldn't go to a male strip club without H, and ditto with him and female strip clubs. Just not how we roll. It does strike me as somewhat bizarre that a work event ended up at a (presumably female) strip club. Isn't that kinda non-inclusive, especially towards the female and LGBTQ+ workers? If it was a frat party or just a guys' night out, that would be more understandable. 1
Author SophieG Posted December 11, 2018 Author Posted December 11, 2018 It does strike me as somewhat bizarre that a work event ended up at a (presumably female) strip club. Isn't that kinda non-inclusive, especially towards the female and LGBTQ+ workers? If it was a frat party or just a guys' night out, that would be more understandable. Not everybody went! The majority went home after the restaurant, but him and his close coworkers/friends decided to continue the party, so they went to a var and then the local stripclub. So you might see it as, it started as a Xmas party that ended up as a guy’s night out. The same thing often happens with my friends/coworkers... we start the evening with everyone, then we go somewhere else to continue our night. 1
FMW Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 If you trust him and you're cool with it then that's all that matters. Personally I wouldn't like it but unless it was a habit I probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it. My xH spent tens of thousands of OUR dollars at strip clubs over the final years of our marriage and repeatedly told me he'd stop when I confronted him (the charges clearly showed up on our credit card bills so apparently he wanted me to know). But he never stopped. He actually moved a stripper in with him when I told him I wanted a divorce. But that's one extreme end of the spectrum
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 They're immoral and promote the idea that women are sex objects. 2
RecentChange Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Count me as another that doesn't care at all as long as it isn't a habit. My husband has been to strip clubs a handful of times since we have been together - either with a group when attending conventions, trips with the guys - and we have gone together a few times. If a guy really liked strip clubs, and wanted to go all the time - I would have a problem with that. But on occasion when people are partying, I have no concern. And yes, apparently many GFs / wives do take issue. I know some of my husband's friends freaked when they learned my husband told me that they were all at a strip club - worried I would tell their wives. Honestly I think it's a silly thing to get upset about, so much lips are sealed. 1
RedHead5 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Strip clubs don't bother me. Especially if your guy is experienced enough to know that the girls are all hustlers lol. I went to one with my ex husband, only time I ever got upset, because he went and got a lap dance without me. Some girl walked up and charmed him and he went without me as I was tipping a girl onstage and having fun. And he didn't have cash for another so I was disappointed and a little ticked. Should have saw the cheating coming with him, huh? Girl paid him attention on social media and the next thing you know he is getting pics and she was grabbing his dick at work. Hindsight 20/20. Fast forward to my current bf, we have been a few times, he hands me money and tells the girls to pay attention to me. lol He goes sometimes without me too, with his buddies. I trust him there, I don't get concerned.
preraph Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 If you don't mind your man going someplace where there's prostitution for hire, fine. Or if you want to go with him, fine. Personally, it makes me feel humiliated as a woman to see those women up there doing that to themselves. And then it makes me mad they're whispering "no one will ever know" backroom sex to married guys. And I know they are. I've been around them up close. And a criminal waste of money. 3
elaine567 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 If you don't mind your man going someplace where there's prostitution for hire, fine. Or if you want to go with him, fine. Personally, it makes me feel humiliated as a woman to see those women up there doing that to themselves. And then it makes me mad they're whispering "no one will ever know" backroom sex to married guys. And I know they are. I've been around them up close. And a criminal waste of money. Yes, it is pretty naive to think otherwise... 3
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