smee707 Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 My GF and I (30) have been together for 9 months. She is from another country and she decided to stay with me and my family this Christmas. We have probably only spent one night in last 2 weeks apart and now for the week we're only going to see each other once 'cause of work parties. I'm happy with that but she does seem quite annoyed. Today, my friends from school arranged a Christmas night out and because me and the GF are back in my hometime for xmas, I said yes. I then asked said GF whether she would delay coming to mine for Christmas by one day, so I can have one night out with friends. This would mean coming on 21 December instead of 22. But she got very annoyed and upset and feels like I'm abandoning her for friends. I've tried to explain that i havent seen them for a year and it's a regular tradition but she doesn't see this. Am I being unreasonable when I tell her that it's really not fair for her to be mad at me. I want to see my friends and then we have all Christmas and NYE together.
GTR King Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 Your request is responsible... You need time with your friends as well as your g.f No need for her to get mad
Gretchen12 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Is she flying to your country on Dec 21? Christmas air tickets are impossible to change without a huge penalty. 1
RecentChange Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 You have been dating for 9 months - why can't she come out with you and your friends? What will the fee be for changing the flight? 2
Sarah_Smiles Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Maybe she wants to meet your friends too and have you show her off. If she was to be down at the same time is there a reason she cannot go with you too?
preraph Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 I think she's just going to be too smothering for you. She wants to be there 24/7 and not too many people actually want that. Most people like a little space. I mean, you could invite her, but I have a feeling there will be no end to this problem of her being jealous anytime she's not with you. 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 My GF and I (30) have been together for 9 months. She is from another country and she decided to stay with me and my family this Christmas. We have probably only spent one night in last 2 weeks apart and now for the week we're only going to see each other once 'cause of work parties. I'm happy with that but she does seem quite annoyed. Today, my friends from school arranged a Christmas night out and because me and the GF are back in my hometime for xmas, I said yes. I then asked said GF whether she would delay coming to mine for Christmas by one day, so I can have one night out with friends. This would mean coming on 21 December instead of 22. But she got very annoyed and upset and feels like I'm abandoning her for friends. I've tried to explain that i havent seen them for a year and it's a regular tradition but she doesn't see this. Am I being unreasonable when I tell her that it's really not fair for her to be mad at me. I want to see my friends and then we have all Christmas and NYE together. TBH, you don't sound that crazy about her. It doesn't sound like she is super clingy, I'd be upset if I only saw my bf once in 2 weeks. Why can't you take her out to meet your friends? She came out to see you from another country and you can only commit one night for her? She isn't demanding much from you.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 OP, had she already booked her ticket for the 21st? If so, are you going to pay the fee for changing it on short notice? Or is she not currently in another country? 1
Simple Logic Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 My GF and I (30) have been together for 9 months. She is from another country and she decided to stay with me and my family this Christmas. We have probably only spent one night in last 2 weeks apart and now for the week we're only going to see each other once 'cause of work parties. I'm happy with that but she does seem quite annoyed. Today, my friends from school arranged a Christmas night out and because me and the GF are back in my hometime for xmas, I said yes. I then asked said GF whether she would delay coming to mine for Christmas by one day, so I can have one night out with friends. This would mean coming on 21 December instead of 22. But she got very annoyed and upset and feels like I'm abandoning her for friends. I've tried to explain that i havent seen them for a year and it's a regular tradition but she doesn't see this. Am I being unreasonable when I tell her that it's really not fair for her to be mad at me. I want to see my friends and then we have all Christmas and NYE together. Sorry, but I think your GF is correct. Either take her with your friends, have your friends reschedule, or pass. 2
Kelliousme Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 TBH' date=' you don't sound that crazy about her. It doesn't sound like she is super clingy, I'd be upset if I only saw my bf once in 2 weeks. Why can't you take her out to meet your friends? She came out to see you from another country and you can only commit one night for her? She isn't demanding much from you.[/quote'] ^^^AGREEEEED! If you guys see each other every day and she said no to you hanging out with your friends for one day.. then yeah I can understand why you feel "suffocated". But you only saw her ONCE in TWO weeks. She's flying from another country to you to spend more quality time with you, and yet you're telling her you want to hang out with your friends so she must delay her flight. (Yeah like other people had said, it can cost a lot) If my bf did that to me, I'd be upset. And if he feels suffocated, then I see that as the end of the relationship. Honestly, if you are suffocated then you guys aren't compatible. You need to find a woman who's completely fine with seeing you once in a blue moon.
kendahke Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 (edited) My GF and I (30) have been together for 9 months. She is from another country and she decided to stay with me and my family this Christmas. Wait--she invited herself to come stay with you and your family or did you ask her to come spend xmas with you and your family? We have probably only spent one night in last 2 weeks apart and now for the week we're only going to see each other once 'cause of work parties. I'm happy with that but she does seem quite annoyed. Today, my friends from school arranged a Christmas night out and because me and the GF are back in my hometime for xmas, I said yes. I then asked said GF whether she would delay coming to mine for Christmas by one day, so I can have one night out with friends. This would mean coming on 21 December instead of 22. But she got very annoyed and upset and feels like I'm abandoning her for friends. Why can't she go with you and your friends? Will she act too territorial around them and show out or something, or do you not want to deal with your smothering girlfriend for one night? I've tried to explain that i havent seen them for a year and it's a regular tradition but she doesn't see this. Am I being unreasonable when I tell her that it's really not fair for her to be mad at me. I want to see my friends and then we have all Christmas and NYE together. You are not being unreasonable. She is acting like a spoiled child. I take it you and her live in the same city and it's only because of your work schedules for one week that you see one another once? Otherwise, you are with each other all the time? Go see your friends and if she's still acting a fool, don't deal with her until after the holidays. Edited December 11, 2018 by kendahke
Els Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 My GF and I (30) have been together for 9 months. She is from another country and she decided to stay with me and my family this Christmas. We have probably only spent one night in last 2 weeks apart I am not really sure how this works. Does she still live in another country? If so, how come she is here now? If she traveled early, what's up with the 21 Dec flight? Are you in a LDR? That being said, changing the date for an international flight less than a month in advance is frankly a ridiculous ask. Unless she bought an expensive flexi ticket to begin with, it would easily cost upwards of $200. She should stick to the existing ticket and meet your friends. What's wrong with both of you going out with your friends?
olivetree Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 My understanding of the situation is this: -They have only spent ONE NIGHT APART in two weeks. -She lives here but is a foreigner from another country. Hence how they have already spent the last two weeks together almost non-stop. -Her family is not here so she will be spending it with OP's. He wants to spend one night with his friends over the holidays, so she will be coming to his house a day later than she would have otherwise. I think it's fine if he wants one night to himself. 1
Author smee707 Posted December 11, 2018 Author Posted December 11, 2018 Is she flying to your country on Dec 21? Christmas air tickets are impossible to change without a huge penalty. Nope, she lives here too. Just travelling from the city we live in to my parents city. Don't see why she can't stay here for one day and travel up the next day.
Author smee707 Posted December 11, 2018 Author Posted December 11, 2018 My understanding of the situation is this: -They have only spent ONE NIGHT APART in two weeks. -She lives here but is a foreigner from another country. Hence how they have already spent the last two weeks together almost non-stop. -Her family is not here so she will be spending it with OP's. He wants to spend one night with his friends over the holidays, so she will be coming to his house a day later than she would have otherwise. I think it's fine if he wants one night to himself. Yes. Spot on. I don't see why she can't travel by train to my parent's house one day later. She said she feels unwelcome now.
olivetree Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Yes. Spot on. I don't see why she can't travel by train to my parent's house one day later. She said she feels unwelcome now. She sounds sensitive about being left out of hanging out with your friends / thinks you need a break from her. It's probably exaccerbated by the fact that you will only see each other one night this week (is that right)? So she thinks you should have had enough time away already. It's fine if you want to hang out with your friends alone, but is there any reason you don't want to include her with your friends?
Gretchen12 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Can she travel to your parents' house with you and spend the evening with your parents while you're out?
DrNo1962 Posted December 11, 2018 Posted December 11, 2018 Yes. Spot on. I don't see why she can't travel by train to my parent's house one day later. She said she feels unwelcome now. Is it a boys night out or will your friend's partners be there too? If its the former, then you need to explain this to her clearly so she understands. If its the latter then its unreasonable to leave her out if you've been together for 9 months.
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