I need some advice

[Beausene]

My boyfriend of 3 years (whom i have known for 10, lived with for 2 years) broke up with me a few days ago. Things are a little tense, he's looking for a new place, and I'm trying my best to cope. I'm so heartbroken, words cannot describe... Well, I did a bad thing, and read his email, and it looks like he's interested in this girl he just met. Of course I absolutely freaked out, and confronted him. Big mistake, I know...my emotions just got the best of me.

Anyway, the reason he gave for the breakup was that he didn't know who he was anymore, and that he needed to be on his own to sort things out. He said he still loved me and that he was sorry, and that he didn't want me to hate him or to shut him out of my life.

Now rewind to 6 months ago, I was the one who broke things off, moved out, and started seeing someone right away. Things were so nice, I was happy, etc.. for awhile. Until I woke up one morning and realized that I had made a big mistake. So I went back. And he was hurt and reluctant, but took me back.

Now I'm wondering if he's going through the same thing I was going through 6 months ago. I know from my experience that a "rebound fling" doesn't work, it's just that you get caught up in someone new, and exciting, until the novelty wears off.

What I really want to know is, do I still have a chance of getting him back someday? My friends are telling me tolet him go and find out who he is, and then maybe he'll realize how good I was with him. I just dont know

[Kitteney]

It appears your boyfriend is conflicted. Because he left, he might be trying to figure out if the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence. If he left to be with the woman in the e-mail, he could be doing what you did six months ago. It doesn't matter when he met her. 6 months ago or 6 days ago. What matters is something prompted him to explore it further, am I'm not so sure it was you confronting him.

 

I think the odds of him coming back are better than most because you two do have so much history together.

 

I would let him do his thing. Extend to him the same courtesy that he did when you went on your "vacation". If you two were meant to be, he'll come back. Question is, will you still want him if he does return?

[Beausene]

Thanks so much for your response. It's really hard to look at the big picture right now. I'm just gonna let him do what he wants, and try to act as happy as I can whenever we see or talk to each other.

[Rocko]

Don't let this turn into a vicious cycle. Fix whatever problems you have / had on YOUR side, and give him time to reflect. At the very least, if he doesn't come back, you'll have become a better person.