XXX Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 This is the third (and hardest time) that I have benn dumped (for a blond) and they end up getting married. This one has taken the cake as he has lied to me and said he wasn't getting married and four days after we were together last he tied the knot with her. We have a son together that is just over a year old and from day one he has not had anything to do with him yet he has still contacted me and still wanted to be with me for booty calls. Took a while but I got away. It's hard - I had thought that he was the one I waited 33 years for. I still love him although there is no logical ryme or reason to it. I want him back but not the man he turned out to be. I have been asked out several times and usually cancel the date with some lame excuss because I am scared as all hell to open up. Any advice, magic or miracles to cure a broken beyond recognition heart? Any advice on whether or not I should go blond :-)
Candy Cane Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I've got some advice. Learn from your mistakes. Don't let men use you. Don't get too quickly involved. Don't move in with them. Don't sleep with them unless you're committed (and I always think it's best to wait until marriage). And do not have their children...unless there's a bright sparkly ring on your finger. You have to protect yourself, girl, as men will use you if they can. You have to demand respect and do not give them your heart until you know that you can trust them. This man said he didn't want to get married? Of course not. You gave him everything he wanted and demanded nothing in return (you know about buying the cow). The only reason this happens to you is because you let it happen. I know that's harsh, but trust me, I've let it happen too. But, I'm not going to let it happen to me ever again. Are you?
d'Arthez Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 And make certain that the future of your child is insured. Get this guy to pay Child Support, if your son is permanently with you - especially if money is tight - if you have not done so already. Even though your ex does not want to do anything with your son, it does not annul all of the responsibilities he has towards him.
Candy Cane Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 Oh, and after dating for four days, I highly doubt that his "marriage" is going to work out. In fact, plan on it not working out and him coming back to you. The absolute worse thing that you can do will be to take him back. You have to break the cycle. He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you. He just wants you to provide him a sexual service. It is demoralizing and you simply cannot be a part of that.
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