mortensorchid Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 Met this guy on Bumble. Seemed alright e got to the point where he asked to meet. I said okay, he said "you pick the place". I recommend a bar near my house that also serves food. I walk in, he's there, he starts off by saying "If you want food go ahead and order I ate already." Oh no... We got drinks. The whole thing was like pulling teeth to have a conversation with him. We called it a night after barely an hour. We get to the parking lot, he said "Nice to meet you" and gets in the car without even a handshake. I drove to Chipotle and got a burrito and now in front of the TV. Ah well, just another report.
Happy Lemming Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 ... he starts off by saying "If you want food go ahead and order I ate already." I think it is highly rude (of him) to eat before you get there. Personally, I may start and nurse a beer (slowly) before the person arrives, but I would not have eaten. On a date, aren't you supposed to eat together, I mean that's the point, right?? Even if its a "meet for drinks" date, you share an appetizer or get food at the bar (together). You do find some odd ones, mortensorchid... Enjoy your burrito!! 1
Author mortensorchid Posted December 9, 2018 Author Posted December 9, 2018 I swear, I have no idea how or why some of these people (maybe this applies to women as well) think they are going to have anything other than a one time encounter with someone if they don't practice certain social graces with others. He said to me after a bit of chat that he doesn't do anything other than meet people on the dating app here and there and he never hears from them again. There was no chemistry at all with him, I was trying to engage him a bit in sharing stories about things but it was all me me me. And it wasn't raunchy stuff by any means, I was talking about deep frying turkeys for Thanksgiving and if I had ever made a turducken (which I am thinking about for a holiday party). And it was just ... Nothing. I guess he was bored and wanted an excuse to get out of the house. But I wish he had said that before wasting my time and energy. I guess I have to fall back on that old saying that a woman must kiss a lot of frogs before the prince. 1
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 What a rude putz.... I would have walked out when he told you he already ate before you got there... WTF... 1
Happy Lemming Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I don't think you did or said anything wrong. I would enjoy talking about cooking and different recipes. Its a good safe subject for a first date. I think you are right, he was just a dud. I don't have the equipment to deep fry a turkey, but it does sound interesting albeit quite messy. I slow cook either a turkey breast or a small turkey in my large slow cooker for Thanksgiving. Both my girlfriend and I like the results. No idea about the turducken, I've seen them at the grocery store, but I've never had or cooked one. I'm doing a ham for Christmas. I use an orange juice, brown sugar & honey mixture as the liquid for the slow cooker. Pour over top and let it cook, nice and slow.
chillii Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 Yeah , just one of those times , and person. He sounds like a real dope , don't think your missen much.
Philosopher Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I agree he was rude to have eaten beforehand and not to shake your hand at the end of the date. That said I do get the impression from his behaviour that he was rather jaded by the OLD experience. For me most of the dates this year it has seemed that they would rather be doing something else given their behaviour such as delaying the date, ending the date very quickly and focusing on stuff other than your date (e.g window shopping, their phones, dogs, etc). That said I am sometimes guilty of these behaviours too. Given the vast majority of OLD do not go anywhere I guess being jaded from the OLD is not surprising.
nospam99 Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 Met this guy on Bumble. So the basis for him, if not for you, was primarily some photographs I walk in His first look at you in real life. he starts off by saying ''If you want food go ahead and order I ate already.'' Hmmm - maybe a lie because now that he's seen you, he's lost interest and is just going to be a little polite. The whole thing was like pulling teeth to have a conversation with him. We called it a night after barely an hour. We get to the parking lot, he said ''Nice to meet you'' and gets in the car without even a handshake. All consistent with you didn't pass his looks filter. (Worse than me - the time 'she' didn't pass, I think I at least fully engaged in the convo even though she might as well have been a guy.) Just sayin' I swear, I have no idea how or why some of these people (maybe this applies to women as well) think they are going to have anything other than a one time encounter with someone if they don't practice certain social graces with others. He said to me after a bit of chat that he doesn't do anything other than meet people on the dating app here and there and he never hears from them again. There was no chemistry at all with him, I was trying to engage him a bit in sharing stories about things but it was all me me me. And it wasn't raunchy stuff by any means, I was talking about deep frying turkeys for Thanksgiving and if I had ever made a turducken (which I am thinking about for a holiday party). And it was just ... Nothing. I guess he was bored and wanted an excuse to get out of the house. But I wish he had said that before wasting my time and energy. I guess I have to fall back on that old saying that a woman must kiss a lot of frogs before the prince. All consistent with my supposition that, for him, it was 'lost interest at first sight'. Yes, you have to kiss a few frogs. But I like to assume that it's possible to pre-filter at least some of the frogs. How selective is your picker? Do you have common interests that can turn into things to do on dates? Are your life experences and life station (family values, education, economic class) compatible enough to not be deal-breakers? FWIW in my brief experience with Bumble, there was no way I was getting enough information about a potential companion to fuel MY picker. I just thought it was way too superficial compared to other OLD options. (I simply 'swiped right' on 'pretty' and only got the 'Match Queue'.) 1
Happy Lemming Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 All consistent with you didn't pass his looks filter. Unless "mortensorchid" has heavily photo-shopped her picture or its from 10 years ago, wouldn't she look like her picture?? 1
lana-banana Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 Nospam99 is dead on. The guy walked in and made a split second decision to effectively end the date before it even got started. When I did OLD there were plenty of times when we immediately knew that there would be no connection, but tried to at least have a pleasant meal regardless. This guy handled it like a jerk. 2
Author mortensorchid Posted December 9, 2018 Author Posted December 9, 2018 I do look like my pictures online. I don6post one of how hot I was 10 years and/or 40 lbs ago (which I lost in 2006). All I can say is that these idiots were just not that into the whole experience to begin with. It has nothing to do with me or whoever they are meeting that day, they just don't care no matter what the situation is or is not. He said to me he just meets people here and there and that keeps him from being bored. Dud. Not how you start off a relationship of any kind.
Happy Lemming Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 ... He said to me he just meets people here and there and that keeps him from being bored. In my opinion, that is not the purpose of on-line dating. If he is bored, let him get a puppy. He shouldn't be wasting your time bringing you out for a date, when he has no intention of actually dating. That is beyond being a "dud"... Inexcusable behavior, if you ask me!! 1
Simple Logic Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 This idiot didn’t eat before hand. He told you that because he knew you would either not order food or pay for your own. 1
FMW Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I probably would have been tempted to turn around and leave when he started off with that. Why even bring up eating unless you had talked about it before. If you had, then he was incredibly rude, if you hadn't then he was socially inept, plus rude and probably cheap and wanted to make it clear he wasn't spending any money on you. OLD sounds like a nightmare. I have no intention of ever finding out, so thanks for saving me the hassle
smackie9 Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I had a date kinda like that but we weren't strangers at all. I think he forgot he was supposed to go to his mom's for dinner that night, and would have not disappointed her, but me instead. ....it was a dinner date FFS! He didn't tell me until we were almost at the restaurant that he already ate at his mom's. He took me for sushi (I was starving) and watched me eat. Fail. Who does that? He was a grown ass man and couldn't say no sorry mom I have a date with this nice girl. 1
alphamale Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I drove to Chipotle and got a burrito and now in front of the TV. Ah well, just another report. that pretty much sums up the evening
Author mortensorchid Posted December 9, 2018 Author Posted December 9, 2018 From this point on if someone does or says something like that to me within the first few minutes of meeting face to face, I will just walk out. The ultimate time waster. 3
Larry56 Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 Why don't you talk to these guys on the phone first before meeting them? That way, you can save your energy and continue to sit on your ass.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 Yep been there done, done that w/OLD. As much as I didn't believe in multi dating, when OLD you need to do that. Talk to many guys at once, so if there is one bad date, you forget quickly. I started setting up dates near my house (none of them knew where I lived), so that if the date went badly I didn't have far to travel. NEXT!
greymatter Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I've never experienced any of the things you describe in your dating life. Lack of chemistry or mismatch, of course. Complete and utter lack of social skills, politeness, appropriateness, cluelessness like you keep experiencing? No. Your selection process needs to improve, since you keeping running into this over and over again. 1
Dodgersfan11 Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 And this is why I quit online dating. Usually if a guy is half ass about everything I next him. Guys have to take the lead at least the first few dates! If he is half ass about everything, and tells me that I have to "pick the place" which has happened when I used bumble and tinder, I say NEXT! 1
DrNo1962 Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 And this is why I quit online dating. Usually if a guy is half ass about everything I next him. Guys have to take the lead at least the first few dates! If he is half ass about everything, and tells me that I have to "pick the place" which has happened when I used bumble and tinder, I say NEXT! Good. Guys like that need to be taught a lesson. I feel sorry for all the great girls out there looking for a man to take the lead. There is an unfortunate epidemic of needy nice guys who are afraid to cause any friction.
CptInsano Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 Bad first dates happen, I wouldn't overanalyze it. Seems that the guy just wasn't interested, for whatever reason. If your pictures online were recent, and if a conversation didn't even start, it really wasn't anything you did in particular. P.S.: Now I really want Chipotle.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 10, 2018 Author Posted December 10, 2018 I met one guy many years ago who said when I asked him (on an OLD) what he did for fun, he said he goes and plays cards with his buddies once in a while and whatever will happen to him will happen to him. Misery. I will never understand this.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 10, 2018 Author Posted December 10, 2018 And this is why I quit online dating. Usually if a guy is half ass about everything I next him. Guys have to take the lead at least the first few dates! If he is half ass about everything, and tells me that I have to "pick the place" which has happened when I used bumble and tinder, I say NEXT! Now that you mention it, I think this is the case with Bumble because women are the ones who are leading. For this reason, I think I should just close it and move onto other things.
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