Author LittleLuu Posted December 9, 2018 Author Posted December 9, 2018 It may seem like I am being a bit of a princess but I don’t think so at all, intuition maybe but I don’t think anything good will come of this. And I haven’t been giving him a hard time over it directly.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 9, 2018 Posted December 9, 2018 I very rarely give 2nd chances because there was only one time when him cancelling was a legit reason. 99% of the time I was cancelled on again. One time the guy had made other plans and squeezed me in, he ran off after less then an hour. He had actually cancelled on me last minute before. If you smell something fishy don't give him another chance.
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 If your intuition is telling you that he'll cancel a 2nd time, do not give him a 3rd chance if that happens. However below is where I think you went wrong: I don’t see how I am being childish, I already wasted a day on this and lost money cancelling my hair and make up appointment that I had to pay a deposit for so I don’t want to waste more time setting up for next week only to have him cancel again. You are putting to much pressure on a 1st date. Do your own hair & make up. Save the professional hair & make up for a special occasion after you are an established couple. 1
Author LittleLuu Posted December 10, 2018 Author Posted December 10, 2018 If your intuition is telling you that he'll cancel a 2nd time, do not give him a 3rd chance if that happens. However below is where I think you went wrong: You are putting to much pressure on a 1st date. Do your own hair & make up. Save the professional hair & make up for a special occasion after you are an established couple. Where I went wrong? lol so if I hadn’t wanted my hair and make up done he wouldn’t have rescheduled?
Andy_K Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 Where I went wrong? lol so if I hadn’t wanted my hair and make up done he wouldn’t have rescheduled? You implied that you cancelled the hair & makeup because he cancelled on you, in which case the point is that it's not worth making that sort of effort for a first date. If it was the other way around and you cancelled the appointments in order to make time for the date with him, then maybe you were being a bit too available and could have just told him the weekend wasn't convenient. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2018 Posted December 10, 2018 Where I went wrong? lol so if I hadn’t wanted my hair and make up done he wouldn’t have rescheduled? Poor choice of words on my part. I was trying to express that you are seemingly heavily invested in a 1st date. If you can emotionally disconnect more & not be so invested because you can't be certain people won't flake, it's less painful, because you haven't reached a point of deep caring yet. I see you as trying make things good, by paying to get your hair & make up done. You are trying to put your best foot forward & you are willing to invest time & money to make a positive 1st impression. I'm worried that you are trying too hard. Especially with OLD, I'd assume the other person was going to flake & operate from that place of skepticism. Then it's less painful, stressful & disappointing when then do flake & you have no out of pocket monetary losses. It just sort of broke my heart that you were putting in all this effort for someone who had yet to prove that he deserved more then the few hours of time you were already giving him. If you dial back what you are willing to put forth initial & come at this from a place where you are wanting the other person to impress you. That doesn't say you shouldn't put your best foot forward but I'm not sure why that must involve beauty expenses on your part. I'm still not expressing this well & I fear you will further think I am insulting you. I'm only trying to insulate you from additional disappointment & monetary loss.
Author LittleLuu Posted December 10, 2018 Author Posted December 10, 2018 Poor choice of words on my part. I was trying to express that you are seemingly heavily invested in a 1st date. If you can emotionally disconnect more & not be so invested because you can't be certain people won't flake, it's less painful, because you haven't reached a point of deep caring yet. I'm still not expressing this well & I fear you will further think I am insulting you. I'm only trying to insulate you from additional disappointment & monetary loss. No it’s okay I get what you’re saying but to be honest it’s more of just a thing where I am from; going out on Saturday night? You get hair, nails and make up done...seems over the top to some maybe but it’s not that much of a huge deal. I think my biggest mistake was actually writing off other plans, I could have maybe kept some options open ended because the fact that I ended up staying in was what annoyed me most.
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