fieldoflavender Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 So I was thinking back to an old situation I was in more than a year ago. Maybe I still have a bit of guilt over it. So I do background facebook checks on people I talk to. I was talking to this guy and he appeared single - made no hook up comments, spoke normally and eventually asked me out for a drink. I facebooked him and then found out that he had a wife and kids. And not divorced wife, actively married wife because she had this very active with instagram pictures like a week before on a family vacation. It was obvious since she mentioned she was with her husband and they both had rings on in the pictures. Needless to say I was very disturbed. I put clearly that I was looking for something long term. I didn't want to confront so I just deleted him and that was that. Does the wife know about it and her (not-so)-perfect life on instagram is a facade? I was thinking if I was in her shoes, I would want someone to tell me. Anyways I left it. Not really my business. I thought for a split second of sending an anonymous message to her - but what's the point, not like she would believe a stranger right. But I hope she actually knows - that's terrible if she doesn't. Anyways online dating sucks sometimes?
basil67 Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 No, I wouldn't warn the wife. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Glad you saw red flags quickly and didn't get involved. 1
snowcones Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 (edited) No, I would not warn the wife. It's not my business. This is why I don't hook up with anybody from Facebook or social media. It's just too easy to encounter things like this. At least on a dating site, they have to actively sign up and make a conscious decision that they are looking for someone. On social media, they tell themselves that they are doing something else. Edited December 8, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
frankspeci Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 (edited) So I was thinking back to an old situation I was in more than a year ago. Maybe I still have a bit of guilt over it. So I do background facebook checks on people I talk to. I was talking to this guy and he appeared single - made no hook up comments, spoke normally and eventually asked me out for a drink. <SNIP> I would like it if someone told me, but I also would understand why they wouldn't. Too many risks involved. Not worth it becoming part of a stranger's story in that way. Just delete and street clear imo. Anyway, in all cases of cheating and double lives that I've known about personally, the victim found out eventually or they were being willfully ignorant. Edited December 8, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
dream of me Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 At some point I was tempted.. But they had a small kid together (he dated me while she was pregnant and I had no idea about the pregnancy or the wife at all). I didn't want to be the one to cause suffering to a little girl, so I just shut up. They are divorced now, she probably discovered about his character by herself. 1
smackie9 Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 Stay out of it....You did the right thing....he asked you out, you did a check, you deleted him. Just the way it should be done.
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