Met him through a love app

[z_eeen1]

The problem about meeting a partner through one of those love apps is the people just wants a partner, any partner, because they've failed in getting the girl they want.

 

In the early stages he told me that he was with me because of low competition - he thinks that there are no guys who are interested in me. N I felt very hurt. On my first birthday with him, he got angry and scolded me saying that i forced him to get a present for me on my bday. I felt quite sad because I did not force him and it felt like he was super unwilling on his part. I brought him to concert, cook for him, n when i bought him a pants for valentine's, he scolded me. It got pretty bad - him being very impatient, always hurrying me when i am eating and always saying he'll depend on me financially in the future and always requesting me to go to his house on wkends, or even staying over. He did send me home after every date. But I always get disappointed with him for things like me feeling giddy and i tried to call out to him but he would walk all the way in front of me and I'd felt so giddy i had to sit down by myself and afterwards got up and catch up to him and him being oblivious to anything.

 

I'll complain to him that my menses cramps were bad, wishing for some love, care and concern and he'll laugh it off saying "but all girls go through this"

 

Ppl kept asking me how my relationship was and i cldnt bring myself to say it for fear of crying. So they'll always reply "aiyo, beginning phase sure honeymoon!" But it felt like nightmare to me.

 

I felt resentful for all the work i put in only to end uo being scolded by him and this relationship lacked the love and care I needed.

 

It got pretty bad that it affected my work at my job too.

 

Until one day I decided to want to break up with him and he swear that he will change.

 

Fast forward to now, he did change, he became more patient, and would make an effort to come to my house, accompany me to doctor visits but i feel insecure as not sure if he is just going through the routine or did it willingly(what if he say i forced him?). It felt like he was doing things to prevent a breakup, not because he wants to make me happy although he did say he wish tt I'll be happy in our relationship.

 

The relationship is more bearable and we're talking abt our future house but I'm abit hesitant

 

But some things still irritate me:

1. He jokingly told me to "move over bitch" in front of our travel friends on a trip and I had felt so insulted

I scolded him many weeks later over this and he turned it around to keep saying he changed so much for me and how i made his day bad by starting off with with a scolding and i ended up apologising to him.

 

2. I excitedly ran to hug a huge squishy soft toy and he went over to look at the price and say "oh, can buy for my secret santee!" Who happens to be another girl. N i got super sad and disappointed.

 

3. He always insist that I contribute equally to our savings account even though he knows i hv an existing housing debt and he doesnt

 

I constantly have this feeling like he doesnt want to do more for our future but wants everything to be equal which i try to but will struggle on days but he doesnt seem to understabd at times.

 

I'm not sure if I should spend the future with him.

 

Also, what is the difference between flaws we shld work around and red flags of a relationship?

 

He is adamant on not giving this relationship up and whenever i point out how i want him to step up more, he will be defensive and start attacking me.

 

Please let me know if I was unreasonable too, thanks

 

And i hope people out there will really love their partner instead of being tgth for the sake of having someone to be with them for the rest of lives.

Edited December 8, 2018 by z_eeen1

[Simple Logic]

You say youmay not be sure if you spend the future with him, I believe in your heart you know the answer to that. Why waste your life on a man that treats you poorly.

[dream of me]

It seems that he treats you really badly and holds you on really low regard. Is this what you dreamt your whole life? I think you deserve much, much better than this.

 

What do you like about him?

[Cersei]

This guy sounds like a real jerk. I could not tolerate his behavior and attitude.

 

Run!

[smackie9]

I went no further than the second line....you should have kicked him to the curb. Why would you ever put up with that????