clynn Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 My current beau and I have been dating for a few months. We've both mutually enjoyed keeping the relationship more low key and private, as we met at a club we both belong to, and we haven't announced anything to anyone there. There hasn't been many events that have come up in this time. ALSO, this has been more of an unspoken agreement, nothing we talked about, I think we both just were comfortable with that. HOWEVER, we both went to an event with people from this club together the other night. A mutual aquaintance of ours drove us there, picked us up from our separate homes. At the end of the night, we agreed we'd go to his place. And so I let the driver know that we were both going to his place. I was the one that asked HIM if he wanted to do this, but I only did so when we were in the vehicle on the way home. Though he said YES, I sensed he was feeling awkward. When we got to his place, he said he felt awkward. I didn't at all and even thought he was being a bit silly, we're both grown adults, who cares? HOWEVER, in hindsight, I am feeling as though I made presumptions and basically took control of the situation in spite of his apparent awkwardness with it. Whether he should or shouldn't feel awkward I am now feeling is irrelevant. He was feeling that way, we hadn't discussed anything in private beforehand (about making our relationship public) and I now realize that this may not have been his chosen method to go about it. Did I make a mistake ?
curiousnycgirl Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 In my opinion you only made a little mistake - if that. However I would totally understsand if he felt it was a bigger mistake. I would think your true mistake was making the assumption that he was ready to "out" the relationship. which really just means you guys should have discussed this, rather than just sort of agreeing without any communication. While there really is no reason to announce a relationship - generally the way folks find out about it is sort of through the type of circumstances you experienced the other night. I think it's time you guys discussed this issue - if it even is an issue. If he is that uncomfortable with people knowing that you two are dating - I would then ask why. To be honest that would make me more concerned than anything else. again that's just my opinoin.
Kitteney Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 Probably not a big deal. And nothing that can't be fixed by sitting down and discussing your expectations/wants/needs etc.
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