samhawk000 Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 Hey everyone! I need a little help here and i thought this would be the best place. I tried to get advice from my friends but they just laughed at me! Okay, here's the situation: I just met this AMAZING girl on Yahoo Messenger. We met by pure chance in a chat room, and when i IM'd her privately, i found out that we had almost everything in common! We listened to the same music, watched the same shows, had almost the same hobbies, and tons of other stuff! I was in heaven. I definately know I'm in love with her, and she's definately in love with me. Now I've been talking to her periodically for a week, but we're running out of things to say. There's more pauses in our conversation than ever before. Here's the question: How should I heat up the conversations without being too sudden about it? What should I say? Some additional info: By the way, I live in Maryland and she lives in Colorado. I wanna meet her in person sooooo badly!!! Also, i am 16, and she is 15, if that helps. PLEASE give me advice!
Merin Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 You've "known" her a week online... so yeah not to be mean so please don't think that, but you're not in Love... Infatuation I'll buy... Second, the 2 of you live in different states and are both very young (meaning not yet legal adults) so the chances of a romantic relationship aren't good.... again please don't think I'm being mean, it's just reality... Three, I go back to this... You've known her a week... so IMO going for the lets have an exclusive relationship and I'm in love with you is just a good way to freak someone out... Slow down and get to know her better.... talk more....
RecordProducer Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 If you guys don't have web cameras, purchase them. You can also do voice in yahoo (you both need headsets for that purpose) and free the phone line. Ask her a lot of questions about her childhood, family, friends, goals in life, desires, fears, love. Same tastes for music and movies hardly ever make two people compatible. You need to know more about her. If things develop well in a few weeks you might think of meeting her in person. It would be nice if you asked her how she feels about that now so that you don't cherish false hopes if she has no intention to meet you for potentially romantic purpose. You already have not much to talk about. You could meet her (or pay her ticket to visit you) and see how things go. If you don't have money, you could find a temporary part-time job for a couple weeks. It's nice to have platonic love at this age. But keep in mind that people are sometimes completely different from what we expect them to be based on online communication. And although you feel all the symptoms of infatuation (you think about her all the time, want to be with her, miss her, etc.), it's not true love until you meet in person. T;) trust me on this!
Kitteney Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 But keep in mind that people are sometimes completely different from what we expect them to be based on online communication. And although you feel all the symptoms of infatuation (you think about her all the time, want to be with her, miss her, etc.), it's not true love until you meet in person. T;) trust me on this! She's right. There is a man sitting in the country jail here because he had been posing on-line as a teen-aged boy. He got busted when he met and assaulted the 13-year-old girl he had been chatting with. Hint: It couldn't hurt if you casually mentioned the girl to your parents. Don't go on and on about it, but at dinner one night, just bring up the fact that you have been chatting with someone. Answer their questions--no matter how dorky your parents may be. That way they won't be completely blindsided if and when you do decide that you want to meet this girl.
Author samhawk000 Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 thanks for the info...i feel a little bit better now. but when we run out of things to say, its almost always because of an awkward silence...a lot of u know what that's like...some stuff u said were mean, but i accept that anyways.
kitkat826 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 some stuff u said were mean, but i accept that anyways. I don't think any of what was said was mean at all. I think they are truly looking out for your safety and well-being, both physically and emotionally. I agree that one week is very soon to decide that you are in love, especially when you have never met. I would bet that most of us on here have felt a "special connection" with at least one person online before, only to have it turn out in ways we never expected. I think the online atmosphere can create an odd sense of intimacy that normally doesn't match up in the real world. Trust me, people speak from their experience here and are trying to help you as much as possible.
whichwayisup Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I don't think any of what was said was mean at all. I think they are truly looking out for your safety and well-being, both physically and emotionally. I agree that one week is very soon to decide that you are in love, especially when you have never met. I would bet that most of us on here have felt a "special connection" with at least one person online before, only to have it turn out in ways we never expected. I think the online atmosphere can create an odd sense of intimacy that normally doesn't match up in the real world. Trust me, people speak from their experience here and are trying to help you as much as possible. Exactly, I was just going to say this. The advice is there for you to read, don't take it as a shot at you. Many of us are older and know what's around the corner, that's all. And if any of us can help you out and make you open your eyes abit more to this situation, we're going to do just that!
RecordProducer Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 i feel a little bit better now... some stuff u said were mean. Just being curious... what was mean and what made you feel better? I would bet that most of us on here have felt a "special connection" with at least one person online before, only to have it turn out in ways we never expected. I think the online atmosphere can create an odd sense of intimacy that normally doesn't match up in the real world. Trust me, people speak from their experience here and are trying to help you as much as possible. I have felt wonderful connection to people on the net and I've never experienced that with anyone in person. I talked to my ex-BF for 4 months on the net, we fell in love then met in person and things were not so great. Then I met my current BF who I also met on the net and although I didn't let myself fall in love during the two weeks we spent talking online (because of the previous experience), he turned out to be the love of my life. He literally swept me off my feet when we met in person and we've been together for one year already. A friend of mine felt this online closeness to a woman from another state (they are both in their 30's) and when they met in person they didn't like each other.
basscatcher Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Please be careful. I meet a guy online and in less then a month of chatting daily for hours I noticed something strange out him. I later discovered he was part of a Nigerian Sweetheart Scam online. Do some research on this topic. This guy played me good for a month before I realized something didnt click right. It wasnt a big thing either. I confronted him on it and he played it off. Within 2 weeks he blew me off. He sent me 2 dozen roses, 3 boxes of chocolates, gave me 2 phone numbers (that worked) and sent me beautiful poems. He was a con artist. They come in all variety's. Please be careful about anything on the internet... She could be ligit but chances are greater she isnt.. Be careful. unless you can meet her face to face without much hassle or any strings use much caution and never meet alone always bring someone with you and in a public place.. I learned from experience and I'm 36 years old...
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