Dumped Me 2 Weeks Before I See Him

[audreymp22]

His name is "Ted" (name changed). We started dating over the summer. Everything was perfect. We were great together, nothing was wrong. I fell for him hard and fast. One problem was that college was coming up, and I go to college and he is another state. I knew this was going to be hard, but I was willing to fight through it if it meant being with him. I visited in October and went to his Cousin's wedding. Everything was still perfect and it was so nice to spend the day with him. Then I flew back to home. Things were hard at first because I missed him so much, but eventually it was going okay. So I thought. He got stressed easily I think, and sometimes he seemed distant, but he usually returned to be loving like he was.

 

Then around the holidays, I got kind of upset because I felt that he wasn't putting much effort into us, but he also said he didn't think I was ever in a good mood. I agreed with him, and I recently got injured that put me out of my sport, so I had a lot to complain about. Overall I felt bad and promised to be positive. So over the next couple weeks I was always positive and loving to him, and he seemed happy about it. We started making plans for when I would come home . We talked about how exciting it was that we could be together again.

 

Then he broke up with me. He was acting kind of distant over the weekend, and I wasn't too happy about it, so I said "do you even like me?" Not expecting anything but "yes i do" or something. But he actually said "idk anymore". I called him on Skype and for 20 mins all I could do was cry and tell him I would do better, asked him how I could fix it, and how I was going to be home in 2 weeks. But he kept saying it wasn't going to work, and that he doesn't love me anymore. He said nothing could fix it.

 

It's been 3 days since that happened and I haven't been able to do much except sleep and cry. I really want him back, I never loved someone so much. I haven't talked to him since I ended the Skype call. His dad reached out to me and said "Ted" was stressed about finals and work and his sport, so I am hoping after the semester is over he will have second thoughts. But he seemed pretty confident that he didn't want me anymore.

 

I was planning on contacting him in about 3 weeks, when I have been home for a little while. I want to meet up with him and talk to him in person about what happened. Overall I just really want him back. I miss him a lot and I love him too much to let him get away this easily. It just happened so fast, I'm not sure what to do.

Edited December 6, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[PRW]

You have to stop treating this stuff like you are still in High School.

 

Long distance stuff almost always ends badly.

 

Never ever "fall hard and fast" for anyone,...stop it.

 

Then around Thanksgiving, I got kind of upset because I felt that he wasn't putting much effort into us

Never tell anyone that, ever. Instead it is your behavor that presents a value to them, so you need to show yourself as valuable and that you are a "catch". If you do that then they will always put effort into it.

 

I was planning on contacting him in about 3 weeks, when I have been home for a little while. I want to meet up with him and talk to him in person about what happened. Overall I just really want him back. I miss him a lot and I love him too much to let him get away this easily. It just happened so fast, I'm not sure what to do.

You really need to just leave him be till he contacts you. The one that gets dumped should never chase. It is the one that did the dumping that has to return to the table. In the meantime make friends where you are, keep yourself busy. Meets guys, go on dates. If you go on dates you really have to stop thinking you are in a relationship,...it is just a date. Having that attitude will help you meet other people, occupy your mind and emotions with that, and let things play out he way that they should.

[BMWN52]

You have to stop treating this stuff like you are still in High School.

 

Long distance stuff almost always ends badly.

 

Never ever "fall hard and fast" for anyone,...stop it.

 

Never tell anyone that, ever. Instead it is your behavor that presents a value to them, so you need to show yourself as valuable and that you are a "catch". If you do that then they will always put effort into it.

 

 

You really need to just leave him be till he contacts you. The one that gets dumped should never chase. It is the one that did the dumping that has to return to the table. In the meantime make friends where you are, keep yourself busy. Meets guys, go on dates. If you go on dates you really have to stop thinking you are in a relationship,...it is just a date. Having that attitude will help you meet other people, occupy your mind and emotions with that, and let things play out he way that they should.

 

^^

This. Just give him space. Can't say he will or shall come back. But someone can't miss you if you actively pursue them. That sudden disconnect or " shock" is what is taking a toll on you. I've been through this recently, still trying to get out of it since Oct.

[stillafool]

He probably did give it one more try but felt his heart just wasn't in it or he would have never told you he was no longer in love with you. His dad should not have contacted you but stayed out of it. I know it hurts but we all end up losing our first loves.