Do you ever stop loving someone?

[TestAnto]

Do you really? If you were together with that person for years, was your first love, broke up for unavoidable reasons such as distance (and not cheating or anything else like that), and of course ended it on wonderful terms, do you really get over them and stop loving them for ever?

 

I want a real answer. It's been a while since my ex and I broke up because of many unavoidable reasons and I have a hard time moving on. Our goodbye was so sweet. Every night I have dreams of her and I wake up feeling utterly bad. I go to sleep and she is on my mind all the time. I see my friends with their girlfriends and I feel terrible. Everything somehow reminds me of her. All I hope is she fine and I really hope she finds someone who is going to love her as much as I did.

 

Will I ever stop loving her or will I just have to accept the fact she will always be in my heart?

[FMW]

If you truly love someone I don't believe you ever stop. However the love, the relationship, changes. You don't think about them constantly and it doesn't stop you from moving on to another relationship.

 

It sounds like you are still IN love with her, still hung up on her. That's not healthy. Have you thought about seeking professional counseling to help you work through it?

[Wallysbears]

I am very good friends with my “first love” from when we were teenagers.

 

We were young.

 

We both went in totally different directions in life.

 

He will always be “special” but we would be totally incompatible as adults.

 

You’ll get through this.

[preraph]

You might love them some way, but not the same way, once you get over them. I had one I was obsessed with and he had issues I didn't understand and I finally just gave up and fell in love with someone else right away and then I couldn't see why I got so worked up about him, but I still cared about him as a friend.

 

It's hard to love someone if they don't love you back, if you're thinking it through! You have to have a little anger and resentment mixed in there to change it from passionate pure love to something else, and finally it fades. But I care about the ones that mattered in one way or another, though they all made me very mad at some point.

[carhill]

Tough when young but gets easier when older. I noticed with more people loved and lost, it was easier to let go and move on.

[HiCrunchy]

Some people stop loving, others can't, and some never fall in love.

 

But from my experience, it really sucks to be the middle one.

[AT15]

Everything is a chemical reaction. Even the strongest bond/love ever made (mother and baby) is just chemicals in the body.

 

Eventually the chemicals dissipate, aka the love fades.

 

I thought I would never love again after; Teron, Bruce, Kevin, Chad, Rodney, Mark, Chad and the latest Peter. ??

 

But, now 6 months later, the chemical reaction my body had in response to Peter is fading. I feel like I still love him, but the desire is not as strong anymore. I'm convinced it's a feel good chemical that's extremely powerful. So powerful, that it distorts reality.

[Lotsgoingon]

First of all, most of us don't have a lot of happy breakups. In fact, I dare say very few breakups are 50-50 ... even in a non-hostile breakup, there's usually one person who has made it clear that they are prioritizing something else--job, family, career--over the other person.

 

Now, I happen to be super-close now to a woman I dated ... and yes, we had a good breakup ... but ... she really wanted to travel ... and later when she started dating, that was difficult for me ... Fast forward ... over 10 years ... we became friends and now I'm buddies with her and her husband, and I call her to get advice on my dating life or just to talk about life.

 

But ... this breakup with my friend was not really mutual ... I had forgotten, until one very late night talk when I happened to be driving through the neighborhood we lived in when we met ... and during this conversation, she recalled and then I recalled that one reason she wanted to travel was because she was quite clear she didn't want to date me anymore. She loved me but didn't want to date me.

 

So I don't think your premise is accurate ... lots of happy breakups are heroically mutual. It's just that one person or both have some external justification for breaking up, and the couple emphasizes that external thing in order to make the break up smooth.

 

I think I carry some sadness from earlier loves ... but no active love ... Like my friend I mentioned earlier ... she and I are far far down the friendship track ... The romantic love has indeed turned to friendship love.

 

Not sure that answers your questions ...

 

Bottom line: if this person is single, contact them! Otherwise, most likely you're romanticizing the relationship and looking back with very rose-tinted glasses.