marxman2015 Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 I knew this girl for years. She has been showing me alot of interest for the past 6 months, even her friend kept on hinting us to go on a date. Now that i have broken up with my previous girlfriend, I went on lunch dates with her, and then a dinner date. She had such a great time that she couldnt stop smiling the whole night, every sentence she spoke she looks at me with her eyes lit up and smiling. She touches me alot and etc. As I walk her home, I could feel she is so attracted to me. She text me right after the date. A few days later, i ask out her again. Now she told me she has a boyfriend (of a few weeks). what the heck. (Just two weeks ago, her close friend is suggesting us to go on a date.) What should i do? and does it mean she has already cheated on her bf to go on dates with me?
Lotsgoingon Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 Friends sometimes don't know the full deal ... and there are people out there who truly act like they want to date you ... I once pursued a woman who several people absolutely came to me and said, "dude, she's really into you." Turns out, she liked me a lot ... and was attracted to me ... but she wasn't into dating me. Literally, that's why I don't take the words of friends ... I judge a person's interest by the energy I feel when I'm around them. If I don't feel the energy, I move on. Sometimes people might crush on us ... doesn't mean they want to date us. You didn't do anything wrong. Let go and move on.
preraph Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 It usually seems to me that when friends tell you this or that about their friend, they're really just using them as an excuse to talk to you themselves. I mean, otherwise, what would motivate them? But yes, if she did have a bf, then she may have been cheating unless they aren't exclusive, in which case she could have kept dating you. So not sure if her interest wasn't as high as it seemed or she just chose her bf over you or is a cheater but doesn't go too far or what.
Normm Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 I listen to this radio show that produces regular episodes where people contact the radio station because they've gotten "blown off" by a person that had one or more dates with. The person simply went ghost on them, even though they were sure the person really liked them. The radio station ultimately contacts the person and the story they tell is completely different from the person who was dumped. What seemed to be a great date (or dates) to the dumpee was a nightmare for the dumper. One thing I learned from listening to that show is that people do not live in reality. The second thing I learned was that actions speak louder than words. Maybe she was testing the waters, maybe you were better than a night at home in front of the TV, maybe she thought she liked you but then you said and did things that turned her off. Ultimately she wasn't interested in taking things further with you and you'll probably never know why unless you can find a radio station to call her.
d0nnivain Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 Since you know that she has a BF but was still willing to cheat in him by having lunches & dinner with you, why would you want to do anything other than walk away?
FMW Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 Who knows why she went out with you several times and appeared to be really interested in you. People do inexplicable things all the time, don't beat your head against the wall trying to figure out why. What you do know is that she now tells you she has a boyfriend. Like bathtub--row said, that's your cue to exit. Don't waste another second on her. 1
smackie9 Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 Nothing unusual here...she was dating the both of you. Since there was no exclusivity, she can date 10 guys if she wanted too. It's obvious she made a decision to go with the other guy and call him her BF. 1
Normm Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 If it wasn't for the new guy you'd probably be in. You ran a close second. Unfortunately only one guy gets a medal in this particular race.
fieldoflavender Posted December 7, 2018 Posted December 7, 2018 No exclusivity talk, technically allowed to date other people. She wasn't your girlfriend right and it sounded like the "boyfriend" was new, not like she was dating someone for years. Sounds more like you guys weren't on the same page. But definitely move on. 1
kendahke Posted December 7, 2018 Posted December 7, 2018 I knew this girl for years. Now she told me she has a boyfriend (of a few weeks). what the heck. (Just two weeks ago, her close friend is suggesting us to go on a date.) What should i do? and does it mean she has already cheated on her bf to go on dates with me? No--there is nothing like cheating going on here--don't be so alarmist. Looks like you should back off and not be "that" guy who can't read signals. Leave her alone. She made her choice a few weeks ago. Apparently, you weren't fast enough. What does it matter what she did? She told you she isn't available, so make yourself scarce. 1
elaine567 Posted December 7, 2018 Posted December 7, 2018 If she has known you for years then she maybe felt sorry for you having just split with your gf, hence the lunch/dinner "dates" to cheer you up, once she realised you were wanting "more" she then told you about the bf. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 (edited) If there's one thing I've learned about life, is that we seldom get what we want, no matter how much we struggle or how much we've done everything right. In your case, I wouldn't be brainstorming to try and decode her real reason, because the reasons are not important, but the action - she wants you to stop approaching her with romantic intents - is the only thing that matters here. So we are back at the golden rule: When a person wants to be left alone, we leave them alone by ceasing all contacts immediately, walk away and NEVER LOOK BACK. Edited January 6, 2019 by thaygiaogiang
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