Half of the women I've dated throughout my life admit they would have swiped left

[EthanBlack]

First of all, a couple of clarifications:

 

1. By "dated", I mean we went out for a period ranging from a couple months to few years. This does not count the dates that went nowhere after like for example, things fizzle out after the 2nd or 3rd date.
    
   
2. When I say half, it could very well be all of them but just that the topic of conversation never came up so I have no anecdotal proof.
    
   
3. Concerning race, the women I've dated include white/caucasian, East Asian, and one middle-eastern/Arab.
    
   

 

All the women I've dated, we met offline. It always included some sort of interaction where there was a chance to have met and interacted numerous times before I made a move and in some cases, she made the move. These interactions range from social activities to work activities where there was a chance for her to see me and how I act/behave in real-life and showing elements of my personality/character in real-time.

 

Through the course of our dating, OLD came up on a few times as a topic just for fun where she would tell me about her experiences online dating. Most of the girls I've dated hate OLD and would rather much meet someone in real life but due to social circumstances, being busy with work/school and also just not having the money to go out there and try new things, they resorted to OLD almost as a "last resort" sorta thing.

 

I casually asked them if they would have agreed to go on a date with me had we met online, although they didn't say an explicit NO, it was pretty much a NO.

 

I'll give you one example. One girl I dated for awhile, she was my dance partner. She was my fellow student at the dance school. She was of middle-eastern background and had she not had to go back to her home country after she was done school, I think we'd probably still be together.

 

Those of you who accuse me of only targeting white women as some sort of commodity prize would probably be surprised that an East Asian guy like me would date an Arab girl, even a muslim one. Truth is, I don't GAF about race/religion as long as there is attraction.

 

Anyway, you can imagine that a lot of Arab/muslim girls would never imagine dating an East Asian guy. It's a very unlikely pairing and you rarely see it out in the real world. She said that had she seen me in OLD, she would not have considered me. Mostly due to my race. She didn't think East Asian guys would be interested in an Arab and also other incompatibilities and also, she always just assumed East Asian guys were into other East Asian girls. She never met many Asian guys in her life.

 

But we met in a completely different context. She was doing her PHD in my city and she was often bored and needed a social outlet. She was fascinated with dance at an early age. She signed up for the dance school that I was at. She was surprised to see a young looking guy like myself dancing with where most of the students consisted of older, well-off, white people.

 

We interacted and chatted with each other occassionally for awhile before I started inviting her out to do stuff. What made her say yes? She told me.

 

She said the "gentle way" I handled the ladies while dancing. In the ballroom dance world, a lot of the students are older men and women who are bored and wealthy and want something fun to do with their time.

 

Male dancers are expected to "lead" in dance and some of them, in an effort to show off or maybe they were never taught properly, are a bit "rough." Being one of the few young guys at the studio, she saw the gentle way I led older ladies during practice and that made her attracted to me. I caught her smiling at me on numerous occasions and so that was a green light for me.

 

The story described above is just meant to give you an example of how offline dating works for a short 5'5 Asian guy like me.

 

I have no prospects online. Even this girl who I went out with for 2 years before she had to go back home, she admitted she wouldn't have been interested had she seen me online. But in real life and in real life situations, it's like a completely different context.

 

It's a lot harder to meet compatible dating partners out in the real world. It requires a lot of luck, timing and patience. But it's the only way it works for short Asian guys like me.

 

Short white guys can go online and get plenty of dates from attractive visible minority women, particularly Asian. That's white privilege.

 

And the thing about white privilege, you don't know you have it until it's gone which is what a lot of people on this forum don't get. You keep denying you have it because you don't realize you have it and you don't know what it's like in a world where you don't have it.

 

I'm telling you from my personal experience what OLD is like for me and how different the offline world is. It's not meant to be racist. I just want you folks to acknowledge it.

 

And this is meant for white men and white women. By no means am I targetting just white men. I think white women should maybe reconsider and not immediately jump to conclusions that a 5'5 short Asian guy MUST be a loser just cause he doesn't look like someone you'd see yourself with. And maybe that six foot white guy you see yourself with could be the real loser.

[Wallysbears]

I’m a 5’10” white woman.

 

I would never date a 5’5” Asian man.

 

I only dated white men that were 6’ and taller.

 

 

Sometimes that’s just life.

 

I’m sorry to be so blunt...but you seem to be reaching to explain the “why” here and there is not one.

 

People like what they like.