New guy at work taking my girlfriends attention

[Inlovenotinlove]

Weirdly she still speaks about us moving house together and still talks about xmas and today infact she text me saying 'my friends getting married in april next year and i can take a plus 1, i want to take you'.

 

If this guys more than just a friend how could she keep up this other life with me?. The only thing i can do is just let this pass and if it happens again have it out with her. But, im hoping me showing i trusted her yesterday is actually going to make us better. Yes she may end up doing it anyway but ive got to fight and show her why she fell for me in the first place.

[Jamess1]

"Attraction is not a choice"

 

You can not negotiate genuine desire with a woman

 

Can you see how a woman reacts and behaves when she is in the presence of a man her hind-brain considers to be 'alpha'.. this is what I teach other men, the power of game and seduction, whether it's a girl you just met and want a fling with or a long term relationship. You get a woman and keep a woman through attraction...whether she is single or not.

 

She has met a better option than you, the option is available and there is competition for him, she can't afford to miss out while one of her workmates get chances with the 'hot' guy. She really doesn't care that she is in a relationship with you, if she gets the chance with a man better than you she will take it, it might be 'short-term-opportunistic mating' during her ovulation days. If he shows promise of committing to her, she will dump you for him.

 

I have been this guy your girl friend is always talking about many times....I have game, I go to the gym,I dress well, when women talk to me, I talk to them as a man,I fully embrace my masculinity, fully expressive of my sexuality, I have a strong presence,I keep strong eye contact,I am assertive and decisive, I am very conscious of my worth as a man to women, I am extremely confident,conscious and aware....the inter-sexual dynamics always change wherever I am present, other men start to resent me for this, but they are just jealous..I am the man they secretly want to be..a men who has his ways with women.

 

You need some counter game, this what you have to do to attract her back to you : your best option is 'dread' : anything to imply your 'high-value' as a man and the fact that there are other women other than her who 'want her man', make your attention 'costly/expensive' again, start flirting with other women in her presence, create the impression of having other women in your life,e.g have a business lunch with a co-worker, have other women call you while you are with her....give her as little attention as possible. Start looking at other attractive women in her presence,look back at a womans behind or even compliment her friend in her presence, give her friend a genuine complete,"...you new hair color brings out the green in your eyes" clearly smile at a woman more attractive than her while you are with her...if she starts giving you an attitude when get back home you are winning, and never apologize, just 'agree and amplify' and 'laugh it off, and accuse her of been jealous'...

 

With game you are dealing with a womans subconscious, her evolved hypergamous hind-brain, that's why communication never works ...

[elaine567]

 

You need some counter game, this what you have to do to attract her back to you : your best option is 'dread' : anything to imply your 'high-value' as a man and the fact that there are other women other than her who 'want her man', make your attention 'costly/expensive' again, start flirting with other women in her presence, create the impression of having other women in your life,e.g have a business lunch with a co-worker, have other women call you while you are with her....give her as little attention as possible. Start looking at other attractive women in her presence,look back at a womans behind or even compliment her friend in her presence, give her friend a genuine complete,"...you new hair color brings out the green in your eyes" clearly smile at a woman more attractive than her while you are with her...if she starts giving you an attitude when get back home you are winning, and never apologize, just 'agree and amplify' and 'laugh it off, and accuse her of been jealous'...

 

 

 

 

^^^ How to get dumped in one easy lesson...

[Highndry]

^^^ How to get dumped in one easy lesson...

 

 

Yeah.

Edited December 5, 2018 by Highndry

[fromheart]

I would have ended it at this point, in my experience she's showing all the signs of about to cheat, if it already hasn't happened.

 

At the very least, its the hot new guy at work, recently divorced(didn't take very long for the women to find that one out) who they were quick to invite to an exclusive girls night.

 

That would be enough for me.

[Alamo657]

Wallysbears is giving great advice. But I suspect you are going to do what you are going to do. You will end up causing her to dump you when things would have otherwise been perfectly fine. What you fear you will inevitably cause to happen.

 

What you should be concerned about is that she is not talking to the guy about you. This means you are not impressing her right now. She is not excited about you enough to brag to him about you.

 

She is not going to run off with a guy in his 40's, but your fear of it is going to show through in all your interaction with her and she will be subconsciously turned off by it,...she may not even know why. She will start saying things like "I'm confused", "I don't know what I want", "I just need a little space",...with the grand finally of "I just want to be friends". Yet, she will not do anything with the guy you are worried about,...but she may head off with another guy that she, for the moment, has not even met yet.

Quoted for truth.

 

 

Attention and seduction game with new guy makes her rethink the value or her relationship with you : "if cool guys are interested in me, why a am i with jealous_insecure_random_guy".

 

 

This guy is a catalyst for the insatisfaction in her life, she may even bang him, but she will end up with someone else who isn't even around at the moment...

[PRW]

To me personally id of been more concerned if she answered that question with 'well 1 person i know whos going is "insert guys name". That to me is more shady. Or she could of just chose to not tell OP whatsoever, when he asked where its at why would she keep it a secret then suddenly in the car say it's at his house? If she was lying about it all, why has she told the truth?.

 

Plus, if she was cheating my personal opinion would be she'd of hidden the entire thing and just said shes going tl a friends to watch a movie. To me it sounds more like she didnt tell OP because 1. Didnt see the problem as everyone from work was going and 2. Because she didnt want to be made to feel guilty for going which leads me to believe OP has reacted badly to her honesty before so now shes more closed off. Id personally trust her as when you asked about the new guy she answered you honestly, if sbe was up to no good i dont think shed of told you at all.

 

Exactly. Particularly your last paragraph. It ain't rocket science,...if she was cheating or thinking about cheating she would never have said a word about anything. The OP wouldn't have known about anything. He would have written here,...and we wouldn't know anything.

 

which leads me to believe OP has reacted badly to her honesty before so now shes more closed off. Id personally trust her as when you asked about the new guy she answered you honestly, if sbe was up to no good i dont think shed of told you at all.

This part is extremely relevant. It is his distrust of her that is actually causing her behavor that everyone is giving her a hard time about. If she felt like she could "tell him anything" without judgment,...we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

 

Im not saying OP gf is right in what shes done but nobody is hearing her side. When OP asked whos going to this event she straight away said 'everyone at work'. So why suddenly is everynody accusing her of keeping secrets?

There is a strong tendency in these forums to just automatically believe the OP and to automatically believe the "other" person is the bad guy.

[PRW]

You need some counter game, this what you have to do to attract her back to you : your best option is 'dread' : anything to imply your 'high-value' as a man and the fact that there are other women other than her who 'want her man', make your attention 'costly/expensive' again, start flirting with other women in her presence, create the impression of having other women in your life,e.g have a business lunch with a co-worker, have other women call you while you are with her....give her as little attention as possible. Start looking at other attractive women in her presence,look back at a womans behind or even compliment her friend in her presence, give her friend a genuine complete,"...you new hair color brings out the green in your eyes" clearly smile at a woman more attractive than her while you are with her...if she starts giving you an attitude when get back home you are winning, and never apologize, just 'agree and amplify' and 'laugh it off, and accuse her of been jealous'...

 

This is out of context. This only works with someone you are NOT currently dating but you are interested in, while they only show you mild interest. The idea is that you want to give the impression that other women think you are ok,...so this validates you to the one you want to be validated with. It is a bit misguided because all you really need is to just know how to work a room so that it appears everyone (not just the women) likes you, trusts you, and thinks you are OK.

 

But in any case, it is in the wrong context. You can't use this on a woman that you are already in some kind of relationship with. The line "Attraction is not a choice" sounds like Corey Wayne,...and so does the rest. I like Corey Wayne,...but this is just being suggested in the wrong context. If you want to know what Corey Wayne would say in the correct context then study what he says about guys acting jealous and the disastrous effects it has on the situation.

 

I agree with elaine567,..."How to get dumped in one easy lesson".

[PegNosePete]

Weirdly she still speaks about us moving house together and still talks about xmas and today infact she text me saying 'my friends getting married in april next year and i can take a plus 1, i want to take you'.

Of course she does! She knows she's jeopardising your relationship with her actions, and she doesn't want to get dumped! So she's telling you some nice words to make you think everything is peachy. Classic distraction tactic.

 

You: "Your behaviour is inappropriate"

Her: "Oh let's move in together, get married and have lots of fat children"

 

Yeah... way to change the subject and avoid the problems she's causing in your relationship.

 

If this guys more than just a friend how could she keep up this other life with me?

I don't think he is more than a friend (yet). But she is lying to you, and acting wholly inappropriately. Those are more important to you and your relationship than whether she's actually doing anything with this guy or not. As you said earlier, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who acts like this. So why are you letting it go?