LOST_IN_LOVE Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 Hello this is my first post, however I have been reading many of the posts within the last couple of weeks. It is comforting hearing other peoples lives and how they deal. It is amazing the things that i thought my MM was saying was so sincere but are only "lines". I have been involved with my MM for YEARS, some of which were out of convience for me while i was out of state attending college, 3 of which were while waiting for him to leave his wife. A big step was when he moved out for 10 months and signed papers for divorce. However, gears shifted, hes back at her house (not his fault of course) and telling me once again he is going to leave her. He claims its me he wants, but is worried that unless she leaves the area things will never happen for the two of us, he is worried she maybe suicidal etc. Today, I gave him the choice, I said 10/1 you have to move, and show me FILED papers, if not..don't bother contacting me. Like all situations mine has complications etc...however I feel like if he is in love with me, he would have should have done this. I truely think this may push me over the edge....i've tried like others to NC him at all, however i always give him more time. I think i'm READY to do it now, however...i'm still in this mindstate that he will pick me. Are there situations when he does pick the OW, how long does it take for him to realize what he wants? I need HOPE, or I fear I may DIE of heartache. I realize..in most situations, it don't work out. I guess I'm hoping my is different, that he will actually come through for me. He has an adopted child with the W and his family and her know of the affair. What is the longest anyone has carried out an A. Thanks for reading...I have a feeling i'll be around here a while....
LauraBancroft Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 Hello this is my first post, however I have been reading many of the posts within the last couple of weeks. It is comforting hearing other peoples lives and how they deal. It is amazing the things that i thought my MM was saying was so sincere but are only "lines". I have been involved with my MM for YEARS, some of which were out of convience for me while i was out of state attending college, 3 of which were while waiting for him to leave his wife. A big step was when he moved out for 10 months and signed papers for divorce. However, gears shifted, hes back at her house (not his fault of course) and telling me once again he is going to leave her. He claims its me he wants, but is worried that unless she leaves the area things will never happen for the two of us, he is worried she maybe suicidal etc. Today, I gave him the choice, I said 10/1 you have to move, and show me FILED papers, if not..don't bother contacting me. Like all situations mine has complications etc...however I feel like if he is in love with me, he would have should have done this. I truely think this may push me over the edge....i've tried like others to NC him at all, however i always give him more time. I think i'm READY to do it now, however...i'm still in this mindstate that he will pick me. Are there situations when he does pick the OW, how long does it take for him to realize what he wants? I need HOPE, or I fear I may DIE of heartache. I realize..in most situations, it don't work out. I guess I'm hoping my is different, that he will actually come through for me. He has an adopted child with the W and his family and her know of the affair. What is the longest anyone has carried out an A. Thanks for reading...I have a feeling i'll be around here a while.... I'm not trying to be insensitive, but they rarely leave their wives. His excuses are so easy to see, the same old "She may be suicidal, she may be this, I can't leave now, please wait for me I love you", it's the same old thing all the time and that's what gets you hooked on waiting for him. As for you dying of heartache, it feels that way but you know deep down you won't and your gut instinct (always the right choice by the way) is telling you to end it. If you don't end it and keep feeding your hopes thats when you can lose sense of all reality and get very depressed. I suggest you NC him until he gets out of his marriage. If he truly loves you and wants you then he'll do it no matter what. He has no control over what the W may or may not do and if she is truly suicidal then he should bring that up to her family so that they can take her in and watch over her. There are never any good enough excuses to keep an OW hanging on. You're worth a lot more than what this guy is giving you, you may love him a lot, but the simple fact is he is feeding you crumbs and you can't live off crumbs. You'll starve! So take care of you and get out of this and save your sanity.
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