Ditapage Posted December 2, 2018 Posted December 2, 2018 My boyfriend and I had an argument after something he didn’t do and needed to apologise for. But rather than say sorry he mentioned some things I had done wrong in the past, rather than stay on the current problem in which he was responsible for, and when *I said sorry, he said “I think there’s enough in this, that you can work on, moving forward.” What kind of a apology is that? People say he’s a narcissistic man (complete with huge social media following and a Youtube channel) is that the behaviour I’m dealing with here?
preraph Posted December 2, 2018 Posted December 2, 2018 He's a right fighter and they never take responsibility. They just try to gaslight you. 1
carhill Posted December 2, 2018 Posted December 2, 2018 Whataboutism, perhaps they teach it in school these days, IDK. The other side of the coin is do you want to be right or be in a relationship? Our MC asked us that question during one session. In the big scheme of life was the thing he didn't do a threat to your health or safety?
smackie9 Posted December 2, 2018 Posted December 2, 2018 (edited) Having a talk with your partner to iron out issues is supposed to help both parties feel better about their relationship...he is a jerk. He made sure you felt bad for even bringing it up. Don't be blind to this behavior. To me this is a deal breaker. BTW what he did was called diversion. He placed a blame on you to divert your attention away from his inaction. Edited December 2, 2018 by smackie9
mortensorchid Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 I agree, a backhanded apology. He was saying essentially "if you had not done/said (blank) then I wouldn't have had to act so badly, so therefore it's really your fault". Move on.
basil67 Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 My boyfriend and I had an argument after something he didn’t do and needed to apologise for. But rather than say sorry he mentioned some things I had done wrong in the past, Sounds like the two of you were still fighting when he said this. I'm not going to criticise his response without first knowing how you addressed it to start with. The fact that it ended up as an argument makes me wonder if you approached it with a confrontational stance which put him on the defensive. And the fact that it ended up as an argument tells me that you were both being hot headed. What was the thing he didn't do? How did you approach the issue with him? Specifically, what language did you use? Is he going to do it now? If so, why do you need an apology?
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