is he trustworthy?

[baba999]

we are both 26.

Met the guy two weeks ago online. Before we met, he would send me good morning, good night, texts me during lunch time, call me in the evening . First date was dinner(expensive steak place). Second date was movie and he bought me 2 dozen roses. After 2nd date he said he loves me, and wanted me to be his gf. I was in shock but i said yes. He still does all the texting and calling. But I have a bad feeling about him and feel like he may not be very trustworthy. The reasons are:

 

1. He is very good at talking, he talk about sweet things and future too much. He says “I miss you so much’ everytime he calls me, but after the 2nd date he never set up a plan to see me. Two weekends have passed and I did not see him because he was working(I am not sure it is true). The only time he came to see me was he happened to be around my house. He got off work at 3pm on weekdays and he never came to see me. He would go to dinner with his friends. we are like 30min drive. He has a car, i don’t.

he will always say oh baby, we might go travel to place A,B,C… oh, I will take you to restaurant A,B,C….But he never really makes any concrete plans. Every time we departs, he says “until next time, my dear, i will miss you”.

 

2. Although he calls me everyday, he always calls me when he is driving and he never do video chats, I feel like i am just his entertainment.

 

3. He sent me a text of a love poem, I asked whether he wrote it, he said he just wrote it thinking of me. He was not good with words, but he was good with love words because he loves me. I then googled it, and found that he copied and pasted it from a website. Which makes me doubt about his personality. What other lies he told me?

 

4. he lives with his parents now and he said he lived alone before, now he is just trying to save money. But his parents are very traditional, so i cannot stay overnight. He wanted to buy me a foldable bed, so he can come over on friday and watch tv with me in my apartment. He said he wanted to spend more time with me.

 

5. I never met any of his friends or relatives. He said he had only one relationship before and the girl cheated on him. He’s been single for three years now because he was busy.

 

6. He said yesterday that he went to the mall and bought me a “suuuper expensive’ christmas gift. He said we would go travel in january so we can have more memories together.

 

7. we haven’t had sex yet.

 

I don’t know what to think of this, he comes on too strong and although he says he misses me , he doesn’t make much effort to really see me. With him lying about the poem, Do you guys think he is trustworthy? What’s his deal? Any input is much appreciated! Thanks

 

December

[SophieG]

For me, all this is actually pretty fast!

How can you love someone after knowing them 2 weeks and going on 2 dates? In that case it would be infatuation and not love.

Some guys are big talker, they want to impress but never actually do anything they say. I feel like he's trying to impress you, and he's trying too hard... usually, when things look too good to be true, they are.

I'd take a step back, initiate the next date and see how you feel about him.

 

Meeting relatives after 2 weeks is way to early in my experience. The guy I'm seeing, I met is family (and it wasn't planned) after 2 months, and he met mine after 3 months.

 

Not having sex after 2 weeks is normal and okay... but being a couple and in love before having sex, that's unusual.

[preraph]

No, he's not trustworthy at all. He may even be some sort of con. The first big red flag is declaring his love after the second date. You know that means he is just saying it, right, because he doesn't even KNOW you yet. So he did that for some reason, or he did it because he's desperate.

 

He's not reliable. He totally did what the scammers in Nigeria do to scam ladies and copied a love poem from the internet to fool you.

 

I think you need to tell him it was too soon to make any sort of commitment and that you need to slow down at a bare minimum. He may be married or otherwise taken. He may be some sort of con artist. You have caught him at it, so I think if you're creeped out, listen to your gut and break it off. If you have mixed feelings, tell him it was too soon to commit since you don't even know one another and that you need to slow it way down.

[baba999]

No, he's not trustworthy at all. He may even be some sort of con. The first big red flag is declaring his love after the second date. You know that means he is just saying it, right, because he doesn't even KNOW you yet. So he did that for some reason, or he did it because he's desperate.

 

He's not reliable. He totally did what the scammers in Nigeria do to scam ladies and copied a love poem from the internet to fool you.

 

I think you need to tell him it was too soon to make any sort of commitment and that you need to slow down at a bare minimum. He may be married or otherwise taken. He may be some sort of con artist. You have caught him at it, so I think if you're creeped out, listen to your gut and break it off. If you have mixed feelings, tell him it was too soon to commit since you don't even know one another and that you need to slow it way down.

 

I totally agree. But i don't know what he is after. I am the one who does not have a green card, he is a white guy(american citzen). i think we earn the same amount of money.(we are not rich at all).

[Sarah_Smiles]

Yes, lots and lots of red flags there. #5 is a big one because I had that one before and it was because he was actually dating someone else and his friends and family met and knew about her and her so how would he explain me, you know. Do you want to have sex? and he does not want too?

[baba999]

Yes, lots and lots of red flags there. #5 is a big one because I had that one before and it was because he was actually dating someone else and his friends and family met and knew about her and her so how would he explain me, you know. Do you want to have sex? and he does not want too?

 

i don't think he is dating other people. He wants to spend christmas together and every friday night with me(buying the foldable bed). But he does only call me when he is driving.

[smackie9]

This sounds dangerous to me. This is how some women end up as sex slaves....it happens on the trip...they take away your passport, beat the crap out of ya and sell you off to someone.

 

 

Ditch the creepo.

[baba999]

This sounds dangerous to me. This is how some women end up as sex slaves....it happens on the trip...they take away your passport, beat the crap out of ya and sell you off to someone.

 

 

Ditch the creepo.

 

omg that is possible! Thanks. That's the only thing he might be after

[preraph]

I totally agree. But i don't know what he is after. I am the one who does not have a green card, he is a white guy(american citzen). i think we earn the same amount of money.(we are not rich at all).

 

He could be just looking for variety sex and to keep whoever he already is supposed to be committed to. But remember, the most recent scammers are also looking for mules to commit federal fraud by transferring money around and laundering money for them.

 

Do not have any money transactions with him and if he should ask you to deposit something or get him a money order or cash a check or anything, call the FBI or Police.

 

It's a sign of either lying or mental instability that he is "in love" on the second date. And he's hiding something. I will just reiterate that if you are not comfortable with it, end it. He did the "love bombing." But he's mostly all talk. If he's poor, how is he getting an "expensive gift"? That's to try to bribe you to stay and see.

 

He probably lives with his wife, not his parents...Why don't you spend a little money online and do a background check on him? I think it's about $25. Of course, you have to have his real name or something concrete. If he ever takes you somewhere, look in his glove box while he's out of the car and see if you can find proof of insurance and get some info off there. Be sure you have his tag number written down, just in case, and give it to a friend or parent.

 

Just do not do anything money for him. If it's not that, he's probably married or got kids or something. I mean, there is NO reason why someone can't bring a woman home to the parents long enough to just meet them. He doesn't want you to meet them. Probably because he doesn't live there or has a wife or kid.

 

The easiest thing is a background check to see if he's married or got a record.

[carhill]

I'd block him and move on. Don't explain, don't meet him again, zip. Go dark. Fishy.

[preraph]

I'd block him and move on. Don't explain, don't meet him again, zip. Go dark. Fishy.

 

I'm glad it's not just me. I often get accused on here of thinking everyone is a serial murderer and such, so glad someone else is seeing red flags here. I mean, he love bombed her to escalate the relationship for some reason.

[carhill]

I had a lot of experience with South American and Eastern European dating scams back when the internet was young and was kinda the wild west. Learned to trust my gut when on the net and on the ground in-country. Trust but verify