ericw899 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 So I met this girl on Instagram & we have been talking on & off. We had a verbal agreement for a date two weeks ago but when I followed up she never got back to me. So last night I asked her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat today. She said she had things to do & asked if I was free Sunday. I said yes & asked her if she wanted to grab lunch & she said sure . The last text I sent was ok I’ll pick you up at 11 & she didn’t reply back. So how do I handle it from here? She agreed to go out but didn’t agree to a time. In addition if I am picking her up I need her address as I don’t know where she lives.
d0nnivain Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Send her something like this: Looking forward to lunch tomorrow. I said I'd pick you up at 11. I need your address.
Author ericw899 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Posted November 24, 2018 Send her something like this: Looking forward to lunch tomorrow. I said I'd pick you up at 11. I need your address. Hmm...I like that! If that gets no response I take it as a no then?
d0nnivain Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Correct. However, since you met her on IG, if you don't know her in real life, don't take it personally if the response is "We're still on for lunch but I'll meet you at the restaurant." I would not give a guy I only "know" virtually my home address.
Author ericw899 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Posted November 24, 2018 Correct. However, since you met her on IG, if you don't know her in real life, don't take it personally if the response is "We're still on for lunch but I'll meet you at the restaurant." I would not give a guy I only "know" virtually my home address. I understand that & I’m ok with that. I just want a response back so I know if we’re going. I just said I’d pick her up since I’m more old fashioned & like the idea of picking up my lady & driving her there, but I know times are different with social media & all
Mrs._December Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Hmm...I like that! If that gets no response I take it as a no then? It was a 'no' two weeks ago when she chose NOT to reply to you when you contacted her to confirm the date you'd set with her. If she couldn't even be bothered to give you the RESPECT and COURTESY of a reply about your date - whether it was a yes, a no, or a 'go kick rocks' response, at the bare minimum she owed you that reply. THAT'S when you should have been done with her. Instead you're orbiting around her, trying desperately to get her to see you and she's once again given you a 'yes' and has once again just cut off communication, leaving you scratching your head wondering what's going on. Does she lay golden eggs or something? Why else would you continually allow this person to disrespect you and treat you like a 2nd class citizen? I don't understand why you didn't get the message the first time. Don't get me wrong - YOU'RE the good guy. She, however, sucks.
Author ericw899 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Posted November 24, 2018 It was a 'no' two weeks ago when she chose NOT to reply to you when you contacted her to confirm the date you'd set with her. If she couldn't even be bothered to give you the RESPECT and COURTESY of a reply about your date - whether it was a yes, a no, or a 'go kick rocks' response, at the bare minimum she owed you that reply. THAT'S when you should have been done with her. Instead you're orbiting around her, trying desperately to get her to see you and she's once again given you a 'yes' and has once again just cut off communication, leaving you scratching your head wondering what's going on. Does she lay golden eggs or something? Why else would you continually allow this person to disrespect you and treat you like a 2nd class citizen? I don't understand why you didn't get the message the first time. Don't get me wrong - YOU'RE the good guy. She, however, sucks. We just have so much in common & she has such an attractive personality. Plus she would be the most beautiful girl I have gone out with
smackie9 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Sorry you got so hooked on this time waster/attention getter. If she was very interested in you she would have seen you by now. The reality is that she probably has a BF or two and a bunch of guys she has hanging on, on social media, you included. Stop being so desperate to the point it stops you from seeing what she is actually doing to you...she's just stringing you along.
Author ericw899 Posted November 25, 2018 Author Posted November 25, 2018 So as usual no reply from her. I went to the bar tonight & don’t have a ball in me to approach & talk to girls. My date for tomorrow clearly is not happening so cheers to dying alone!
d0nnivain Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 So as usual no reply from her. I went to the bar tonight & don’t have a ball in me to approach & talk to girls. My date for tomorrow clearly is not happening so cheers to dying alone! She's one flakey girl. She does not define your life. Stop giving her the power. For now, take the rest of the year off. Focus on yourself, family & friends. In January regroup & take a different approach to meeting people, no more OLD.
smackie9 Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 The only reason you get so down is because you let girls like her take advantage of your interest. This is how it should play out....if they don't give you a YES or they back out, cancel, forget, give you some lame ass excuse, or don't reply til much later, stop communicating with them all together, stop giving them the benefit of a doubt over and over and over...just block/delete. You are not losing opportunity with them but you do lose opportunity meeting someone who actually is willing to go on a date with you. I agree you give women like her all the damn power, and it ends up biting you in the ass. If you sour puss over this, all you are doing is letting her win. Chin up and don't give a rat's ass.....go forward.
ktmiller222 Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 HOnestly, next time don't ask a girl to pick her up up for the first date. Just meet her somewhere. Also, it seems like she is playing around. Move on to the next.
Author ericw899 Posted November 26, 2018 Author Posted November 26, 2018 I called her out about standing me up and she was very apologetic and felt really bad. And of course with my big heart I am trying to give her another chance. I'm insanely attracted to her & I can't get past it. Anyways I told her that I have a hard time figuring out how she feels about me, and she says "I know I do that purposely for my own safety". What on earth does that mean?
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 It means she is a commitment phobe who believes in bailing on guys before you can hurt her because she thinks all men suck. Your picker is waaaayyyy off. It's a shame that you are so insanely attracted to her because inside she's a mess. Be very careful. If you manage to get through all her defenses once you get there, if you don't like what you find you are going to have bigger problems on your hands when she goes nuts because you are just like all the other guys she believes are out to hurt her in her paranoid state.
5x5 Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 If she keeps showing you through her actions, that she really isn't interested. You would do well to believe her. Not believing her and doubling down on that which evidently hasn't worked isn't going to change her mind. That said it's your time to waste, so have at it.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 I called her out about standing me up and she was very apologetic and felt really bad. And of course with my big heart I am trying to give her another chance. I'm insanely attracted to her & I can't get past it. Anyways I told her that I have a hard time figuring out how she feels about me, and she says "I know I do that purposely for my own safety". What on earth does that mean? It means she is not dating material at this time. She's either been too burned to really pursue anyone else right now, or she's making an excuse to get you to let down "gently." I gather this is the same girl from your thread a couple weeks ago. OP, she is not interested. It doesn't matter how attracted you are or how much you believe you have in common. If the other person isn't feeling it, dating them isn't going to happen. I would stop asking her out and try to meet girls offline. You've mentioned before that you "meet" girls on social media but it's just not a good platform for that.
LauraXX Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 How does that even work to meet people on Instagram? How did you find her profile? And how did you end up talking to her and asking her out? I'm really curious about that. A friend of mine mentioned a while ago that he deleted his Instagram profile because women kept approaching him there and his girlfriend was jealous. And that just didn't make sense to me because I wouldn't even know how to find single guys on Instagram and if I did, I would never have the courage to contact them and ask for a date. Or am I missing the point and overlooking a relevant match-making function of Instagram ?
Author ericw899 Posted November 26, 2018 Author Posted November 26, 2018 How does that even work to meet people on Instagram? How did you find her profile? And how did you end up talking to her and asking her out? I'm really curious about that. A friend of mine mentioned a while ago that he deleted his Instagram profile because women kept approaching him there and his girlfriend was jealous. And that just didn't make sense to me because I wouldn't even know how to find single guys on Instagram and if I did, I would never have the courage to contact them and ask for a date. Or am I missing the point and overlooking a relevant match-making function of Instagram ? I saw her on Tinder & she had her Instagram attached so I hit her up. It’s actually not a bad platform to meet women. My ex gf I met the same way
Author ericw899 Posted November 27, 2018 Author Posted November 27, 2018 So I have another date planned Wednesday night with this girl. And because I'm a complete idiot, I spent over 30 dollars on movie tickets, even though I know she won't show. I have called her 6 different times in the past week & she never answered once. F ME
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 I hope you have a back up buddy who will come see the movie with you.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 So I have another date planned Wednesday night with this girl. And because I'm a complete idiot, I spent over 30 dollars on movie tickets, even though I know she won't show. I have called her 6 different times in the past week & she never answered once. F ME Why on earth did you do this? And no, social media is generally not a good way to meet girls. You are probably one of many guys who "hit her up", if she's reasonably attractive. There is nothing to set you apart from all the other dudes who contact her, because she has never met in you in person. Given your threads about your ex-girlfriend, I wouldn't say you struck gold with that social media-match either. Tinder can be a starting point to meet someone these days, I realize, but if they're not keen to meet relatively soon, you need to take the hint and explore other options. Not try to conduct IG chats that go nowhere.
Author ericw899 Posted December 1, 2018 Author Posted December 1, 2018 So I went out with this girl a couple nights ago. She was the one I was unsure if she would show, but she did. We went to the mall, grabbed food at the food court and watched a movie together. She seemed very sweet and she was quite engaging during some of the conversation, but then other parts she was kind of quiet and I couldn't tell if she was interested. Some of my red flags include: -She was on her phone quite a bit (but she is 19 so I think that's common) -She was dressed very casual, no makeup or anything. (I thought she looked cute but I almost took it as if I wasn't worth impressing) -Not very affectionate, as I had my arm around her for only a little bit then said it hurt her neck, and she had her leg on me but moved after only like 10 minutes -Since our date we have texted. She initiated one day, I did the other. Yesterday the conversation was very short and she kind of just stops responding after a while In addition to those, she has said that she makes it difficult for guys to tell her interest level in her for her own safety. So basically I'm going to try to ask her for dinner Monday night, but I really want her to be interested not just say yes for the sake of saying so, plus I would like some advice regarding texting between dates (particularly for younger people). Thoughts?
GTR King Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 If she was using her phone on the date that a big red flag as she is not interested no matter how old you are... If a girl is interested she will call/text you after the date if she don't the move on
jgraham11 Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 (edited) So I went out with this girl a couple nights ago. She was the one I was unsure if she would show, but she did. We went to the mall, grabbed food at the food court and watched a movie together. She seemed very sweet and she was quite engaging during some of the conversation, but then other parts she was kind of quiet and I couldn't tell if she was interested. <snip> Well, look at the bright side at least she didn't bring a friend to the date (my problem lol) No, but to answer your questions more directly, I'd say first thing is avoid texting really boring "How was your day" type of things. Engage her more with more interesting or flirty texts and she how she responds to that. 19 year olds have the attention span of an ant so you really need to capture her through interesting conversation. Judging by what you wrote it's hard to say if she's interested or not. I'd say ask her out again, but try to do more than just a movie and mall. That's too run of the mill. Maybe take her to a new restaurant in town or take her to a sports game that she might like, go for a walk after if possible. Just be more creative for the date. I also think you should give it some more time. Shoot for something on the weekend instead of a Monday. If she's on her phone constantly going forward and she just doesn't seem to be that engaged, then move on. Edited December 1, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
ExpatInItaly Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 Based on your past thread about this girl, I would not hold your breath for anything serious with her. She has only been mildly interested all along. Her behaviour on this date reflects that.
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