confused83 Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 Basically as you can see from my past posts my partner has terrible communication skills and its got worse to a point where ive noticed shes changing our plans constantly without consulting me. Luckily her family noticed it without me even saying anything. Below is a list of 3 things thats changed and these are all in the past 2 days. 1. We're meeting for a family meal, i was staying over after at hers with her family, yesterday she tells me 'you cant stay over though after the meal because im going out after to my works xmas doo (a doo shed said she didnt want to go to weeks ago). 2. We're meeting to spend the day together a week on sunday, last night she informs me her friends have invited her to a xmas market so she's now going there. 3. And this ones where the family stepped in... we'd planned a nye party at her house, her family asked if it was still happening, she replied 'no but my friends doing 1 now so ill go there'.... notice the 'ill' and not 'we'. So her family said 'what about your partner' she replies 'i didnt think but he can come' Now i ended up leaving the house. She rang me to see what was up and i had it out with her about basic courtesy. I explained id never stop her doing anything but it would be nice to be considered and not taken for granted. She apologised and said she isnt used to having someone else to think about and said she'll try harder. Its bugged me that even after all this shes still not asked what i want to do nye so i kind of feel like no amount of trying will change her. Surely if she noticed it as wrong seen as i and her family have pulled her up on it, shed of said 'what do you want to do nye because i want To spend it with you'. I feel like ive had enough. 1 part of me is saying shes an amazing girl, shes really generous and caring but because shes not had a bf for 6 years she just doesnt yet know how to be in a relationship and it'll change over time... another side of me is saying get out now before i get hurt by this girl.
chillii Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 l dunno how you truly feel about her but she said she'd try harder and explained a bit , that's a pretty good start and a great sign. lf you've finally found someone extremely special that your in love with , give it more time . Some long time single women take a fair while to adjust to a relationship, l've notice that before. lf she isn't those things to you though well , dunno , up to you .
Author confused83 Posted December 1, 2018 Author Posted December 1, 2018 l dunno how you truly feel about her but she said she'd try harder and explained a bit , that's a pretty good start and a great sign. lf you've finally found someone extremely special that your in love with , give it more time . Some long time single women take a fair while to adjust to a relationship, l've notice that before. lf she isn't those things to you though well , dunno , up to you . I do want to give it time as she's a lovely girl and makes effort elsewhere like making me lunch for work and things. But im more concerned that im slowly being taken for granted and the fact that happened in front of her family was a bit embarrassing. Her brother looked at me like 'she doesnt respect you mate'. I left about 10 mins after. I hope it does change but if it doesnt whether shes perfect or not in other ways im going to walk away as for me thats a huge problem if someone is making/changing plans and not considering me. The nye one is even worse due to the fact shes known for a few days now that shes not doing this party and shes going elsewhere and at no point has she told me. I dont know if id of even found out till too late if her family didn't ask her today. And, when they did ask she never once thought 'oh yeah ive not told my partner about this yet' to me its something that wont change as i think if youve not got a hang of it after 4 months will it ever suddenly change.
Happy Lemming Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 I feel like ive had enough. Personally, when a relationship stops being fun, I'm out. Dating is supposed to be about having fun, doing activities together and enjoying each other's company. Life is short, if you've had enough and you are no longer having fun in this relationship, move on. NEXT!!
FMW Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 If I were you, at the very least I would take a break from her. Her behavior isn't acceptable to anyone who has any self-respect. By sticking around and continuing to put up with it, albeit with some grumbling, she really has no reason to make any changes. And as far as her not having had a bf for several years, I call bs. If you care about having a relationship with someone, considering them in your plans should come naturally - it's not something that takes practice. It's there or it's not.
Gretchen12 Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 She shows signs of having called it a day. Does she know she's a partner? Or are you still dating for fun? Does she know?
smackie9 Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 You date those who treat you the way you want to be treated. I myself have just dumped and ran. I didn't care how good looking they were, I didn't feel like we were in a relationship, boom I'm out of there.
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