khalessi Posted November 29, 2018 Posted November 29, 2018 (edited) So im back here again. lol. i've been dating this girl I met and in my eyes we had great chemistry. We had really good times together, really enjoyed touching and kissing and displayed a lot of PDA which neither of us usually do. . We didnt see each other in person for a bit but kept in touch via texting and they would initiate plans for hanging out again.. and even the last time i saw them they were making plans for when we would see each other next and what we would do together. i tried to be rationale and give them space when i could and wouldn't expect to hang out right after traveling or anything... Since we hadn't seen each other for a bit i would text more. i don't think I was over-texting sometimes would double text (but to me its just childish to think that double texting is being overeager)... I dont think I was being annoying as they would text me the same amount, and it's not like I was texting all day long. There were big gaps sometimes. I'll admit that i can be a bit shy and closed off. it's the way I am with everyone initially and it takes time for me to get past that. I get a text saying that they think its not working but they had a really good time, etc. They apologized for doing it over text. Obviously I dont want to be with anyone who doesnt want to be with me. Obviously I should move on and will. I know that the answer is "nothing is wrong with you/it's not you" but sometimes I do feel it is me... like they can see my trauma and how it still impacts me and just don't want to deal with it. What do you think she means by 'something is missing'? Edited November 30, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator typo
PRW Posted November 29, 2018 Posted November 29, 2018 It is just all BS excuses. It just means that you aren't making the grade for them,...plain and simple. Yes you probably were over texting but it would not have mattered by that point anyway. You were already treating it like a relationship within a month when you should not have even be expected to be BF/GF till around the end of the 2nd month.
Author khalessi Posted November 29, 2018 Author Posted November 29, 2018 It is just all BS excuses. It just means that you aren't making the grade for them,...plain and simple. Yes you probably were over texting but it would not have mattered by that point anyway. You were already treating it like a relationship within a month when you should not have even be expected to be BF/GF till around the end of the 2nd month. We're both women.. I dont know if I was over texting because it basically matched their rate of texts... I texted more just to ensure they knew I was still interested even though we hadn't had time to see each other in person... I probably would not have texted as much if they hadnt brought up seeing each other again, you know? And the month mark thing is also weird to me... Im not a PDA or lovey dovey person but often when that would occur they would initiate so I ended up thinking it was more than it was i guess...
Lisa_Lisa Posted November 29, 2018 Posted November 29, 2018 I think it's important to remain mysterious in the beginning. Maybe you spoke of your trauma to her in a way that although she may have understood and had compassion for, she probably felt it was a lot of pressure. And when people break it off usually they give bullcrap excuses, it's not you, it's me and I've got to focus on myself and such. Dating is a process and these people are still strangers so everything should be light and cheerful and fun. Just my feedback though....
Simple Logic Posted November 29, 2018 Posted November 29, 2018 Sounds like they just met someone else.
Author khalessi Posted November 29, 2018 Author Posted November 29, 2018 (edited) I think it's important to remain mysterious in the beginning. Maybe you spoke of your trauma to her in a way that although she may have understood and had compassion for, she probably felt it was a lot of pressure. And when people break it off usually they give bullcrap excuses, it's not you, it's me and I've got to focus on myself and such. Dating is a process and these people are still strangers so everything should be light and cheerful and fun. Just my feedback though.... I agree... I didnt say everything Edited November 29, 2018 by khalessi
ExpatInItaly Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 Sounds like they just met someone else. This is my guess, too.
FMW Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 Yes, most likely she met someone else and unfortunately was just not as into you as you were into her. I know it doesn't really help, but truly it's better she showed this after only a month or so and not further down the line when you had fallen for her even harder. Just try hard to stay open and receptive to meeting new people and don't let this close you off.
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 It's a sugar coated way of breaking up. It could be a myriad of reasons -- she met someone else; you did or didn't do something; it felt inconvenient: she's not getting aroused by you; she is going back to an Ex. Why doesn't matter. Let her go. Be happy she was gentle & didn't lead you on more.
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